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Smart is the New Pretty: Date Night Chatter

By Kirsten|August 10th, 2011|Smart Is the New Pretty|

I’ve always been a firm believer that no matter how beautiful you look in that new Kimberly Ovitz, if you open your mouth and have nothing more intelligent to talk about than which pro athlete one of the Kardashians is dating, then you’ve just wasted a lot of makeup and time in the mirror. So, to help you lovely ladies out, I’ve found some of the web’s hottest headlines that are totally chatter-worthy:

Now that you’ve scored a lovely evening out with a handsome gentleman, let’s just hope he doesn’t work in finance… but at Apple instead. [Forbes]
He could then fill you in on the new Facebook messaging iPhone app that may very well replace texting. [Mashable]
Unless, of course, the hacker group, Anonymous, destroys Facebook on November 5th… [Mashable]
Which then would foil the NYPD’s plan to track criminals via social media. [Mashable]
If things go well you might want to test out MTV’s new app to help you find the closest condom or [Mashable]
book a flight during Virgin America’s crazy online sale (hurry though it’s only 24 hours!). [Mashable]
I wouldn’t recommend heading to London just yet [HuffPost]
but perhaps a trip to Paris where you can now buy baguettes from vending machines? [Gawker]
Didn’t see sparks on your first date? Those were just solar flares. [HuffPost]
Well, at least your Louboutins look great… or are those YSL? [NYMag]

Even if your date turns out to be a dud, at least you know you were armed and prepared both mentally and physically.

xx,

WhyDid

Photo via PinstripeMag

Why Don’t You Do What You Love?

By Kirsten|August 9th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

Recently, I finished a really great book called The Paris Wife (by Paula McLain). And while you probably think this is going to be a painfully dull book review, it’s not… although if you’re looking for a great end of summer read, I certainly suggest that one. Without digressing too far, the book is basically written from the point of view of Ernest Hemingway’s first wife, Hadley Richardson. It chronicles the early years in Paris where he penned one of his more notable novels (though there are many), The Sun Also Rises. During the 1920’s, those considered to be “interesting” were living in Paris. Some hypothesize it had something to do with the exchange rate, but others insist that this was a place where writers and artists alike could be creative.

After finishing this book, it became very clear to me that things have certainly changed since then. Some for the better, but one thing very much for the worst. While as a society, we’ve evolved in terms of technology and modern conveniences but, we’ve managed to slip backwards in regards to the arts. Sure, there are people who call themselves “artists”, but it seems to me that most people doing whatever it is that they do, are doing it for the money rather than the actual passion that should propel the craft and that comes across in the final product.

Instead of making something truly authentic, people make what will appeal to the masses. They create what will be considered commercially acceptable and will bring in the most cash. They’d rather sell records and hit sales levels than break ground and be true to his or her talent. Sure, I like to bust a move along to a poppy Katy Perry tune, but can we really call that art? What happened to real bands that play real instruments and don’t rely so heavily on autotune? When’s the last time you saw a painting by someone currently living that truly moved you? Banksy is cool, but is graffiti really comparable to canvas?

When I talk to friends, it seems we are all stuck somewhere in between doing what we love and doing what will pay the rent/mortgage/Louboutins. I feel quite certain that this has a lot to do with why there is a disappearance of people dedicated to doing what they love. It appears our generation has no soul. We’re driven by money and “stuff.” I’m not saying that we all need to be a bunch of emo hipsters, but I do think it wouldn’t hurt to “gut check” from time to time to make sure we’re all living lives that feel authentic.

Don’t do it for the fame. The money. The glory.

xx,

WhyDid

Photos via Hemingway’s Paris

Why Can’t We Be Friends?

By Kirsten|July 27th, 2011|Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Date Him?|

Miss No Strings Attached in theaters back in January? No worries, you can catch it in theaters now… except this time it’s called Friends with Benefits – oh and they replaced Ashton and Natalie with Justin and Mila. No biggie. Not sure how exactly this slipped through the cracks with movie producers and studio heads, especially when all involved have worked so closely (Black Swan, That 70’s Show). You’d think at some point in between takes of the lesbian scene in Black Swan, Natalie might’ve mentioned something like, “You’re way better at this than Ashton. We’re doing a new movie together about these friends who have sex…”

And Mila would say, “No way!! JT and I are doing the same thing!”

Then they’d smack five and get back to business. Anyway, seeing that there are two major movies and four mega stars covering the sultry subject, I figured it must be something on the forefront of people’s minds. Just like the premise of the movies, having a “friend with benefits” (also known as a f*ck buddy), seems like a great idea in theory when in between relationships, but as everyone could guess (without having to sit through the movies or spend $15 a ticket) it never turns out quite the way you’d planned.

See it all gets a bit messy when one (if not both) catches stronger than “just friends” feelings. It’s nearly impossible for neither party to get attached when so much time is spent naked and in between the sheets. Sex is a very intimate thing and no matter how modern the woman (or man), sex is always more than just sex. I mean, let’s be serious, would you really sleep with someone you didn’t like… just a little? My verdict? Friends with benefits is always a bad idea.

Now, here’s the part where I bring it full circle by completely contradicting myself. I actually think the best relationships are built between people who have strong friendships. The trick is seamlessly transitioning from best buds to bed buds. The sexy part of relationships always fade (at least a little bit), but the sturdy foundation of friendship can keep a couple afloat.

So what do you think? Would you do the deed with a friend in need?

Whatever you decide, always be safe with your body and mind.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: (BFFN) Best Friends For Now

By Kirsten|July 5th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

A girlfriend of mine came to me a week or so ago bummed out about one of her friends. She couldn’t understand why her friend was acting stand off-ish and asked whether or not she should confront her. We then got to talking about friends, friendships, and good ol’ relationships.

I feel like I’ve been lucky enough to know some of the best girls in the world. Each of them special for one reason or another. (I’ve also known some real assholes too, but let’s not focus on that). No matter how great some of my gal pals have been, only some have lasted while others were merely temporary friends during a specific period in my life. Not every person you meet is going to be your friend, let alone, your “best” friend.

Human relationships, whether platonic or romantic, are very difficult. Just because you aren’t “dating” your friend, doesn’t make it any less difficult and, at times, can make it that much more complicated. For instance, if a guy hung up on you, bailed on your plans repeatedly, or talked down to you in front of people, you’d probably dump him, right? It wouldn’t matter that you two had spent a summer at camp in upstate New York when you were twelve. So, why on earth would you want a “friend” who treated you that way? Sounds more like a frenemy (not to mention unhealthy relationship) to me.

You must be honest with yourself and decide what type of friendship this is. Friends come in all different formats, you know. While you may have shared a love of frat parties in college or dated best friends post college, sometimes we hold onto memories rather than reality. You must re-evaluate from time to time in order to ensure you are partaking in a healthy and mutually beneficial friendship.

Categorizing your friendships and being honest with yourself certainly doesn’t make cutting ties any easier. Trust me, there are people who I thought for sure would be by my side at my wedding, but they won’t even be in attendance now. It’s crazy, but people change and so do relationships. You have to take the friendship for what it was worth. Tuck away all the great memories and the lessons you learned and appreciate that person for who she is.

By no means, am I implying that friendships should be temporary or taken any less seriously. Just make sure you are engaging with people who make you the best “you” possible and who have your best interest at heart. Don’t be a friendship slut. A best friend is a very special title and should be reserved for only those who truly deserve it.

xx,

WhyDid

Monday Mash Up: Ex Factor

By Kirsten|June 27th, 2011|Monday Mashup, Why Did You Date Him?|

It’s true, most people have a “type” which might consist of words like “tall”, “blonde”, or “athletic” but it’s very rare that someone has a type so terribly specific that it seems as though he’s dating twins. Well, let’s give Reggie Bush a warm round of applause because he has take the term “type” to a whole new level.

Now, I swore I was done talking about Kim K on WhyDid, but this was too startling to ignore. While Ms. Kardashian has clearly moved on from her breakup with New Jersey Nets player, Kris Humphries… (Have you seen her rock? Have you seen her registry?) It seems as though Reggie is stuck on repeat. It raised eyebrows when he was rumored to be dating “model” Mayra Vernoica, but recently he stepped out with a lady so strikingly similar to his ex, Kim, that people started to wonder if this was merely a coincidence or totally creepy.

You may remember Melissa Molinaro from the Old Navy ad that had everyone talking about what a resemblance she had to the curvy Kardashian. I remember her from the terrifically tacky but oh so addicting The Pussycat Dolls Present Girlicious.