There’s nothing like having some great girlfriends, but sometimes the line between “friend” and “enemy” becomes a bit blurry. I want to go ahead and blame Sex and the City for this (among other things). For some reason, girls were led to believe that they should be living these totally “fab” lives with their besties in the big city. In reality, it is incredibly rare that four women (especially four who are so different) would have the time, energy, or even interest in maintaining such intense friendships. So, you start to wonder… are these my real friends or just friends out of convenience and appearance? Here’s a few ways to tell:
- Gossip Folks: Ever have a friend who constantly talks about her other friends or your mutual friends? Sure, it’s fun to dish the dirt, but it’s true what they say. Someone who talks about other people will most certainly talk about you the minute your back is turned. The best thing to do in these situations is keep your mouth shut and try to change the subject. People like this, will most likely go back to said “friends” and tell them that YOU were talking about them. If you can’t cut this person out of your life completely, cut the conversations with her short.
- Always a Bridesmaid: Girls can be very dangerous to one another and it’s really unfortunate. Instead of being happy for each other, there always seems to be some sort of competition and jealousy. Even (by even, I mean especially) between girlfriends. Rather than being elated that Nancy met the man of her dreams, Sue would rather talk trash about him and point out all of his flaws. If Nancy were to EVER to express any concerns about Mr. Right, Sue would be the first person to encourage her to leave him. Perhaps you should hold onto Mr. Right and leave Sue in the dust. A true friend will always be happy for you.
- Oh the Tangled Webs We Weave: Remember how Joan wanted to totally stay out of your fight with Karen? Remember when Joan said she liked to keep Karen at an arm’s length? Remember when Karen talked about what a ditz Joan is? What about when Joan called Karen cheap? How about when Betsy was introduced into the equation? Joan hated Betsy and Betsy thought Karen was a creep… So how come Joan, Karen, and Betsy are toasting cocktails and your ears are burning?
- Rose Tinted Glasses: Do you have a friend who always seems super happy about everything? Even when you know her boyfriend is full blown cheating on her, she hates her boss, and her dog just died, she has somehow managed to twist the story into something very different? (Girl… you need to get into PR with all that spin!). It’s incredibly difficult being friends with someone who doesn’t even tell you the truth. How on earth are you supposed to give her good advice on a situation that is totally fictional? On a sidenote, you wouldn’t even know she was lying to you if it hadn’t been for Frenemy #1 dishing the dirt.
- Get “Used” to It: Sometimes you’ve got to wonder why your pal always wants to hang out with you at Soho House or why they only come around when things are fun and there’s a good party. She doesn’t want to be your friend! She wants to you use your connections and invitations for her own enjoyment. She will suck you dry and the minute she thinks you have nothing left to offer, she’ll be outta there. Trust me, girlfriend, you’re better off.
Friendship isn’t something to “do” so that you can lead the SATC lifestyle. A real friend doesn’t care if you aren’t “on the list” and you’re having a bad hair day. Cut out the fat and focus on real friendship rather than your frenemies. Here’s a little ditty from Ke$ha that sums it up.