A girlfriend of mine came to me a week or so ago bummed out about one of her friends. She couldn’t understand why her friend was acting stand off-ish and asked whether or not she should confront her. We then got to talking about friends, friendships, and good ol’ relationships.
I feel like I’ve been lucky enough to know some of the best girls in the world. Each of them special for one reason or another. (I’ve also known some real assholes too, but let’s not focus on that). No matter how great some of my gal pals have been, only some have lasted while others were merely temporary friends during a specific period in my life. Not every person you meet is going to be your friend, let alone, your “best” friend.
Human relationships, whether platonic or romantic, are very difficult. Just because you aren’t “dating” your friend, doesn’t make it any less difficult and, at times, can make it that much more complicated. For instance, if a guy hung up on you, bailed on your plans repeatedly, or talked down to you in front of people, you’d probably dump him, right? It wouldn’t matter that you two had spent a summer at camp in upstate New York when you were twelve. So, why on earth would you want a “friend” who treated you that way? Sounds more like a frenemy (not to mention unhealthy relationship) to me.
You must be honest with yourself and decide what type of friendship this is. Friends come in all different formats, you know. While you may have shared a love of frat parties in college or dated best friends post college, sometimes we hold onto memories rather than reality. You must re-evaluate from time to time in order to ensure you are partaking in a healthy and mutually beneficial friendship.
Categorizing your friendships and being honest with yourself certainly doesn’t make cutting ties any easier. Trust me, there are people who I thought for sure would be by my side at my wedding, but they won’t even be in attendance now. It’s crazy, but people change and so do relationships. You have to take the friendship for what it was worth. Tuck away all the great memories and the lessons you learned and appreciate that person for who she is.
By no means, am I implying that friendships should be temporary or taken any less seriously. Just make sure you are engaging with people who make you the best “you” possible and who have your best interest at heart. Don’t be a friendship slut. A best friend is a very special title and should be reserved for only those who truly deserve it.
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