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Red Carpet Recap: The Money Shot…

By Kirsten|March 8th, 2010|Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

Typically I find the big award shows to be one big snooze fest. It seems like a lot of people wearing the gowns they weren’t able to wear at their senior proms. However, this year I was pleasantly surprised. Despite the fact that I spent my morning doing the oh-so rigorous Intensanti with WhyDon’tYouActLikeALady, I didn’t fall asleep (let alone yawn) during the red carpet pre-show. Below are some of the good, bad, and just plain ol’ ugly.

The Good:

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Speaking of pleasantly surprised, Meryl Streep looked stunning in Chris March (Project Runway). She is a great example for the older actresses everywhere (take note: she covered her ARMS!!). An absolute perfect choice.

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Sandra Bullock has really never looked better. Her hair and makeup make her look totally feminine and this dress by Marchesa is truly a departure for her. Obviously Oscar worthy.

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Some may disagree with me, but she’s SARAH JESSICA PARKER for crying out loud! Would you really expect her to wear some run of the mill satin gown? Abso not! The pale yellow of her Chanel gown is beautiful on her and I love, love, loved her gigantic hairdo. Matt, you’re not looking too bad either.

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Despite the fact that Miley is slouching as if she’s got osteoporosis at age 17, I thought this was a wonderful choice for her (Jenny Packham). It’s a little more grown up, while still maintaining a youthfulness about it. Well played, Hannah Montana.

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At first, I wasn’t a believer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for Rachel McAdams. She’s a gorgeous girl. This dress absolutely grew on me like fungus and it is so different from the typical tulle and taffeta. Bravo, Elie Saab!

Not a huge Cameron Diaz fan, but I am a fan of her in this Bulgari creation. She looks absolutely delightful.

Elizabeth Banks looks amazing in this grey number by Atelier Versace. My only call out? That cheeseball headband. Just too much.

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I don’t usually find the men’s outfits all that enthralling, but I do love that Robert Downey Jr. decided to be playful with his accessories. Sometimes it gets so boring with everyone in the standard black and white.

The Bad:

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I’m 50% sure that Tina Fey is, in fact, wearing a Bump It. Yes, a Bump It a la Snookie on the Jersey Shore. This Michael Kors dress would have been okay on her, if she had just styled the rest of herself correctly.

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This dress by Reem Acra isn’t HORRIFIC, but it does remind me of something my grandma would wear by the pool in Palm Beach. To “top” it off, her hair looks like she was getting in a last minute pre-Oscar workout and didn’t have time to wash it, let alone, dry shampoo.

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I have a serious girl crush on Amanda Seyfried, but I do NOT have a girl crush on her Armani Prive. It is not a flattering color for Amanda and it is just too much dress for her. Better luck next time.

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I think someone summed it up best when they said, “George Clooney looks like a lesbian.” I mean, I have to agree. What is going on? And what is going on with Elisabetta’s shawl? Are we really at Junior Prom?

The Ugly:

First of all, WHY ARE YOU HERE??? That being said, your Armani Prive frock is a fashion fail. It looked like cotton candy gone wrong (as if that’s even possible). For a curvy girl, you should know better than to draw more attention to your hips than you need to.

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. Really? Were you on your way to a luau and lost your way? Your Dries Van Noten looks like a Hawaiian shirt gone all kinds of wrong. Mahalo.

Oh, did you forget you silverware? No worries, Carey’s got you covered in her Prada gown encrusted with all different types of hardware. Dig in.

Diane Kruger is typically a fashion dream come true, but she’s kind of my worst nightmare in this dress by Chanel.

Yike, yikes, yikes! Zoe Saldana is fashion schizophrenia in her Givenchy gown. The top is actually kind of beautiful. Unfortunately, the red carpet isn’t shot from the waist up. The bottom looks like a cross between a purple poodle and a garden of hydrangeas.

Okay, seriously? Do I even need to go into a diatribe about the nipple covers on Charlize’s Dior gown?

And the Ridic:

I mean, this is all I’m going to say (quote), “If fashion was porn, this dress would be the money shot.” Um, thanks for the… err… visual, Gabourey.

All we really wanna know is where was Lindsay Lohan? Now back to the beach.

xx,

WhyDid

LOL :-)

By Kirsten|March 6th, 2010|Uncategorized|

Well, I’m sure you remember when I explained to you that a wink face basically ruined my life. While perusing iTunes to update my collection (because, yes, I do take iTune’s suggestions), I stumbled upon this little musical masterpiece (I REALLY wish this was a joke):

Guess we ALL know what wink faces and emoticons insinuate. I suppose this doesn’t really fall under my typical wadrobe WhyDid’s, so let’s just file this under WhyDidYouProduceThat?? It seems you could write a song about cookie dough and egg nog and make a hit (I have both in case you need either).

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did Wisdom: Hey Girls…

By Kirsten|March 6th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

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Let’s not get overzealous. While gallivanting last evening, I was startled to see SO MANY young ladies parading their naked legs around town. I get it, we finally hit above 40 degrees yesterday, but that is no reason to get ahead of ourselves. It’s still freaking cold out.

I’m not quite ready to see your pasty stems. Just because it’s March and we saw a few hours of sun, does NOT mean that it’s time to break out the bare legs and open toed sandals. You haven’t even prepared yet! Before the legs come out (which is right around the corner), you must hit the gym and de-pasty yourself. The first girl I saw I thought was a fluke. However, I continued to see bare legs left and right. Casper was hittin da club scene. I mean, I can’t. It was actually startling. Like smack me in my face startling.

Let’s hold off, my friends. It’s not time yet. I will send out the smoke signal when it is. In the meantime, keep your pants on, ladies!

xx,

WhyDid

Behind Every Fabulous Woman is an Even More Fabulous Gay Man

By Kirsten|March 5th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

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It has been hypothesized that if Britney had had at least one gay in her life, the meltdown of ’08 may have been avoided. I tend to agree with this. In my opinion, every great girl has got to have a great gay somewhere in her life.

Ever heard of Lady Gaga? Oh, you have? Well, guess what. She has a little something called the Haus of Gaga and it consists of a team of her best friends who are also responsible for all of her amazing/ridiculous outfits. Who wants to wager on their sexual orientation? Just saying…

Gawker did a little number on the gay/straight relationship and while there are some valid points, I don’t completely agree with it. Sounds like it was written by a bitchy queen who doesn’t value real friendship. I have been blessed to have one of the greatest gays I’ve ever met be a part of my life. He likes my boy drama and is always down for a little shopping trip- but that’s because he’s actually my friend. I listen to his boy drama too- and if he’s looking for a sequin blazer, I’m right by his side. But alas, they’re right about not trying to set up your gay. I wouldn’t even know where to begin (top? bottom?) and we often bicker about why each other’s prospective love interests SUCK.

That being said, there’s a plethora of reasons why girls need gays:

They will tell you if you look fat. I’ve always said that when it’s time to shop for wedding dresses, I’m bringing a gay man. They have nothing to gain/lose by telling you the truth. Once, while getting ready for a big event, my gay bff informed me that he, in fact, hated what I was about to walk out the door in. This caused an emergency wardrobe change. My clothes have never come off faster!
Speaking of changing, feel free to prance around in your pantaloons. He doesn’t care. When slipping out of my dress, we started hysterically laughing about his incredibly close proximity to my nipple.
Sleepovers!! It’s nice to have a man around the house. Especially one whose socks you don’t have to pick up. How nice is it to have some testosterone without having to worry about a knock at your “back door” in the morning?
Considering most gay men pride themselves on being well groomed, well, dressed, and all around good looking, they make for great arm candy. Don’t have a date to your upcoming function? Bring your gay bff. They look great in the photos and they’re probably a lot more fun on the dance floor than whatever suit you were planning on bringing.

Now, they aren’t like a handbag. A gay man is not an accessory and shouldn’t be treated as such. Make sure you friendship is just that… a real relationship with someone who you care about. Basically, a gay man is the perfect hybrid between your best girlfriend and a boyfriend minus all the drama. I really can’t think of anything better. (Though the maltese/poodle hybrid is up there).

So what am I trying to say? Basically, Brit Brit wouldn’t have lost her shit shit if she’d had a gay compadre to reel her crazy ass in.

xx,

WhyDid

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WhyDid Wisdom: A Word to the Wise…

By Kirsten|March 3rd, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

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After feeling officially old by having to help (an even older) friend celebrate his birthday at a NIGHTCLUB last night, I realized that I could be helpful to some of you young ladies. I’m still in my 20’s but a few years can make all the difference. Here are some things I wish I’d known as a fresh face in the big city.

I mean, first and foremost, don’t date a DJ. (This also includes club promoter, club owner, or any other kind of “nightlife” type). You’re just asking for trouble. They have opposite schedules from you (unless you’re a cocktail waitress or bartender). They are constantly surrounded by “temptation.” 9 times out of 10, you’re going to get burned and I don’t mean from a bottle sparkler (though that’s possible too).
Don’t show up where you know your ex is to try and “show him what he’s missing.” There’s a reason he’s your ex. He isn’t “missing” anything- most certainly not you. Go home. Save face.
If you insist on parading around in front of your ex, don’t over-slut it. There’s a fine line between sexy and stripper. Don’t cross it.
Put on a bra for heaven’s sake. You’re 20. Your boobs should still be perky. This is why I’m an advocate for either fake boobs, or flat chests. They don’t sag. (I told you I’m very black and white).
Alcohol not only makes you fat, it also ages your skin. While going out every single night sounds like a good idea in theory, you’ll thank me later when you’re still getting carded at halfway to 30.
Going along with #5, let people wonder where you are. Remember when Paris Hilton was on EVERY SINGLE red carpet? She was like a cockroach who just wouldn’t die. Don’t be a cockroach. Stay home. Read a book. People will be more excited when you DO decide to show up.
You aren’t going to meet your future husband at a nightclub. If you think you are, you’re going to wake up at 30 and wonder where all the nice guys are. They’re home. Being a functioning member of society. Not at a nightclub on a Tuesday. Promise. Hell, I pinky swear.
Less is more. How many different ways can I tell you this? Don’t spend 8 hours perfecting your outfit. Everyone’s drunk anyway. Between that and the strobe lights, no one will be able to tell you what you wore last night. Besides, do you really want to ruin your new Herve by being doused with cranberry and vodka? (B tee dubs, stick with soda as a mixer. Fewer calories and doesn’t stain).
Please don’t be “that girl.” We all like to have fun, but don’t be the one with the lampshade on her head. You want to cherish these fun moments in life, but that’s kind of hard when you’re black out drunk.
Nothing good ever happens after 2am. Go home.

You’re young. Have fun, but heed my advice. Just think of me like your big sister- just here to help. I wish I’d had some words of wisdom from someone (slightly) older and (much) wiser. Moisturize, drink plenty of water, take 2 Advil and call me in the morning.

xx,

WhyDid

Oh- P dot S… white guys- Don’t dance. Just don’t.