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Put it in Reverse

By |March 30th, 2010|Uncategorized|

Well, folks, I’ve seen a lot of things, but this may take the cake.

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In case you’re sick of your pet’s “brown eye” you can now purchase a little something called Rear Gear to cover up that unsightly hole. Heaven knows you don’t want Fido to be ostracized at the puppy park because his hind quarters aren’t up to snuff (or sniff).

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Coming in many different styles, you’re pal can be the cat’s meow while wearing his Rear Gear with pride. This takes buttjazzling to the next level.

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Haven’t these people ever heard of giving your K9 a bath? Or perhaps something called a Wet Wipe? I was not aware people were so offended by their furry companions anus.

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Don’t worry, Smitty. Mom isn’t going to buy into this one. Just pajamas and polos for you, my friend.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Don’t You Eat Me: We All Live in a Yellow Submarine

By |March 29th, 2010|Guest Blogger, Why Don't You Eat Me?|

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Let me tell you: It’s about time something new and notable opened up in my neighborhood! I constantly complain about how I can’t find a decent thing to eat in Murray Hill and Wednesday was my lucky day because No. 7 Sub opened in the Ace Hotel on 29th and Broadway. The owners first opened up a No. 7 Sub in Fort Greene in Brooklyn and have just branched out into Manhattan (thank you , because I don’t do much  :::cough cough::: any traveling to BK).

No. 7 Sub has been getting quite a bit of press, so I obviously had to investigate. I  heard that they ran out of bread on opening day (oh the horror!), so I made sure to get there in adequate time. I ended up arriving around 12:30 and there was a small line out the door.  It gave me plenty of time to look over the option and figure out what I was going to try.

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I opted for the roast beef with romaine, pickled blueberries, doenjang, and smoked gouda. I know, people! Enough with the roast beef already, right? I can’t say no to a sandwich with pickled blueberries! I also ordered their homemade hibiscus ginger ale (I regret that decision). The roast beef sandwich was pretty tasty. I’d definitely order it again at some point. The hibiscus ginger ale was not my cup of tea, however. Oh well. Can’t win ‘em all.

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There are quite a few other subs that I want to try as well such as the ceviche with cucumber, red onion, avocado, fried hominy,   and leche de tigre mayo (whatever that may be??), the ham with pineapple, maraschino cherries, potato salad, and american cheese, and also the imitation lobster thermidor with capers, potato chips, and swiss cheese. As you can see, this isn’t your typical sub shop which is why I was excited to try it out.

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All in all my sandwich was good. Not great. I definitely wouldn’t throw my boyfriend out of bed for an opportunity to eat one of these sandwiches, but I will definitely be back to try some of the others. It’s a good lunch spot for people that work in the neighborhood and don’t mind spending $9 on a sandwich.

I’d give No. 7 Sub 3 out of 5 mouths for being a solid sub joint with creative, outside the box subs.

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See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

Why Did You Wear That: Don’t Be a Dick.

By |March 27th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

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Ooooh, Tyra. I want to hate you, but I love you so. I love you for never, ever disappointing in the second hand embarrassment department. Whether you’re comparing someone’s missing limb to that time you smiled with your eyes or claiming that you could be a size 0 “if you wanted to” you always deliver. Thank you for that.

Since I’m clearly busier on a Wednesday night than a Friday, I only just NOW got to catch this week’s installment of America’s Next Top Model, Cyle 5,387 (okay, 14). It was all well and good. The typical 5’4″ girls “posing” as models (pun intended) and arguing with each other about absolutely nothing in the house. Did a little photo shoot. And then… it was time for judging.

I just want to know… what in the HELL were you wearing at that judging?

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

I mean, the look of disgust on everyone’s face behind you says it all.  Your flesh colored catsuit makes you look like a prosthetic limb or an uncircumcised penis- take your pick. Don’t get me wrong- I love nudes for spring but head to toe dermis is not what I had in mind. This little number would look wretched on ANYONE, but alas, you’re the one who decided to sport it. Shocker.

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODELI think Mr. Andre Leon Talley is about to vomit on you. The horror on his face could only be directed towards your flesh colored bodysuit. I wonder what Anna thinks…

I want to tell you to just “stop it” Tyra, but please, PLEASE don’t.

xx,

WhyDid

Word to Your Prom.

By |March 26th, 2010|Uncategorized|

I wish this was a joke… unfortunately, this is legit.

As I lay in bed with my dog and my Mac (threesome) watching re-runs of 90210 (the Brenda Walsh era), I was startled to see a commercial for this:

home_01Oh…. really? Who in the world would want to go to this?  They suggest that it’s great for bachelorette parties. Right. Now, I’m not even in the realm of possibility of marriage (see above sleeping arrangement), but I would disown my friends if this is where they took me on my last night as a free woman. Sure, while Bill is taking tequila shots and getting a lap dance from Candi (i not y), I’m singing along to horrible 80’s music with a scrunchie in my hair. Great plan, gals! Unless someone’s pants come off, I’m not sold.

And in case you need more proof that I’m not making this up… photographic evidence!

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prom3_jpgOh- I’m sorry, wasn’t aware Justin Timberlake and Betty White had teamed up for a collabo.  Maybe I’m misguided, but I thought the 80’s and your prom were things we are all trying to forget. What/who on Earth is still trying to hold on? Seems to me like there could be some deeper issues at hand (and I do NOT have time to even begin). If for some reason, you’d like to participate in the Awesome 80’s Prom, you can go ahead and call them toll free at 1-877-RAD-PROM. I’m not making that up either.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Preen

By |March 24th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

So you have a hot date? A big event? You want something to make heads turn all the while looking effortlessly chic? Oh, this ol’ thing? Enter Preen by Justin Thornton and Thea Bregazzi.

Started ten years ago by the design duo, Preen has collected quite the celeb following including Kate Moss, Chloe Sevigny, and Thandie Newton. It is easy to see why. Take a look at some of my favorite pieces from their Spring 2010 collection:

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I remember when Henri Bendel first started carrying this line over two years ago (when they still carried apparel). It was so incredibly sexy and chic without being blatant or cheesy. It was the ultimate alternative for cool girls who were sick of the oversaturated Hever Leger bandage dress. I was immediately smitten.

10029174_120724_800Pleat Tulip Dress, $1,106

01234F108008_1_2One Shoulder Sheath Dress, $1,089

64452_in_lPower Knitted Lace Dress, $1,375

Friends often ask me for suggestions about what to wear when dressing to impress and I would say, if you want to look less Kim (Kardashian) and more Kate (Moss), go grab something Preen and wait for the boys to scream (had to).

Sigh… now if only I had a red carpet to walk…

xx,

WhyDid