The List Volume 10/31

By |October 27th, 2013|The List|

slutty halloween costumesIt’s true I rarely know what day of the week it is, let alone the actual calendar date, but as far as I’m aware, this past Saturday was not, in fact, Halloween.  As I sipped on my pinot at a party in Soho wearing a sweater dress and over the knee socks, I watched the influx of costume clad cuties circle the room(s).  Sure, there were moments when I had a tough time discerning who was actually dressed up and who was just abusing the right to wear spandex, but I was left wondering if I had missed the memo.   I’m no party pooper, but I think it’s safe to say I’m officially old when the thought of dressing up for Halloween sends sheer panic rather than anticipation through my veins.  Maybe it’s because I don’t need a specific holiday to look sexy or to wear lacy lingerie or maybe it’s because nearly every costume under the sun has been done.  Or perhaps, and most likely, it has something to do with the fact that putting the word “sexy” in front of something, doesn’t actually make it sexy.  And since it would seem that this year Halloween will be dragged out for the better part of a week, here’s a guide to what doesn’t fall under the umbrella of “sexy.”

  1. Pilgrims, Amish, and clergy- especially when impregnated.
  2. Most cartoon characters.  With the exception of Jessica Rabbit, they are meant for children… and while your costume is small enough to fit a child, there is no correlation.
  3. Anything 80’s.  Had it not been for French cut bathing suits and cocaine, I don’t think anyone would have had sex during that decade.
  4. Food in general.  I tried to think of a food that might be considered sexy, but I don’t think dressing up as an aphrodisiac would even get me in the mood.
  5. Anything involving the words “gold” and “digger.”  That’s a great way to send guys running… the other way.
  6. Certain animals were not mean to be sexy.  Cats, yes.  Squid, no.  Bunnies, yes.  Dolphins, no.
  7. Clowns.  Never clowns.  Ever.
  8. Anything involving scar tissue.
  9. Much like animals, not all occupations are sexy.  A naughty nurse is one thing, but a playful plumber?  Not so much.
  10. If it requires assistance when using the restroom, it’s too much and therefore, not sexy.

sexy halloween costume




Setting the Mood: Sleep Tight

By |November 13th, 2012|Setting the Mood|

fashion pajamasThis time of year, when the weather goes from pleasantly crisp to shockingly cold, it’s quite easy to want to just throw in the towel, err… cashmere blanket, and just stop caring about what you wear.  It’s even quite likely that you’ve completely given up on putting yourself together and leaving the house at all.  I’ve found that I now prefer a pleasant night in rather than a raucous night out.  Not to mention, my razor blade refills have become fewer and fewer.  Pretty soon Smitty is going to think I’m fair game.  That said, there really is no reason to be a complete and utter hot mess.  There’s gotta be a happy medium between comfy sweats and club slut… right?

As I sat having dinner with friends at Barbuto on Saturday night (that glass garage door makes for fantastic people watching), in addition to the gentleman in the grey knit cap who walked by over ten times and was clearly casing the joint (or my friends), we were astonished at the parade of Paul Frank printed flannel pajama pants.  Come.  On.  Hello Kitty printed pants aren’t okay in Wal-Mart and they sure as heck aren’t welcome on the streets of the West Village.  When designers sent pajama inspired looks down the runways, I doubt Spongebob was what they had in mind.  I live in a neighborhood that is so trendy, I have to up my game when merely running to the corner deli.  Sure, I’m just on a TP run, but the rest of you are gearing up for stylish dinner dates and tequila shots at Tortilla Flats.  So, whether you’re staying in or heading out, pull yourselves together, girls.

pajamas trend

Eberjey Gisele PJ Set, $115Elle Macpherson Intimates Dunescape Stretch Satin Pajama Pants, $80Juicy Couture Sleep Shirt, $98,Equipment Avery Brushed Silk Pajama Set, $470

Don’t let the bed bugs bite.



Smart is the New Pretty: Catch Up.

By |March 21st, 2012|Smart Is the New Pretty, WhyDid Wisdom|

newspaper coffeeSeeing as I’ve spent the last day traveling  (change of scenery, change of mood, right?). I haven’t really had a chance to catch up on the news.  So, here’s what I found floating ’round the web this morning.

Bon voyage.



Why Did You Wear That: Are You Red-dy?

By |September 27th, 2011|Personal Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

It seems that red is the color of the season.  Whether it be Emmy gowns or accessories, everyone is trying out this hot hue.  If you don’t have a gala to go to and merely painting your nails crimson isn’t doing the trick, why not incorporate red into your everyday wardrobe?  Now, my friends often laugh at me cause I never get rid of any of my clothes… but the joke’s on you this time, ladies.  When I went home to visit my mom, I found these lovely red trousers just hanging out (literally) in the closet.  See, what goes around comes around… or perhaps I was just ahead of my time.  Anyway, red pants are a wonderful way to bring fall’s hottest color to your world.  Now, I’ve seen some stylists suggest the safe route of pairing your pants with a neutral of just grey or black, but I think that’s kind of boring.  I prefer to have a little fun with it.  I mean, you’re already wearing red pants.  (Plus, this is a great way to try out that whole colorblocking thing).

If you’re ready to try this look be sure to keep tone in mind.  If the red is more orange red, opt for a warm tone.  Might I suggest pink?  If the red is a more blue red, go for a cool shade- perhaps purple.  Use your head… or a color wheel and ground your look with black accessories.

1. Signature Tank, $125, 2.  Express Ultimate Double Weave Columnist Pant, $79.90, 3. Hello Kitty Silicone Watch, $45, 4. Balenciaga Arena Classic Velo, $1,445, 5. Lanvin Asymmetrical Round Toe Pump, $975

Are you red-dy?



Would You Wednesday: Paris Edition

By |September 22nd, 2010|Why Did or Why Don't?|

Seriously though… this girl. She apparently can get away with anything she wants. She’s like my dog. Pees on the carpet and I just smile cause he’s soooo cute. Why don’t you try murder next time, P?

0921-paris-hilton-japan-03-480x720Oh wait. Apparently that’s what you’re trying to do to me with this outfit. Someone call the police. Attempted murder. Anyway, here’s Paris in Japan. The only country where people seem to not hate her. I mean… what on earth is she wearing? Another major concern of mine is this: Why can’t a girl who has so much money and basically access to the best of the best in beauty get herself a decent set of hair extensions? Why? Why? Why? Forget her cocaine/gum… her get up is a crime in and of itself.


Let justice be served.