WhyDid.com

LOL :-)

By Kirsten|March 6th, 2010|Uncategorized|

Well, I’m sure you remember when I explained to you that a wink face basically ruined my life. While perusing iTunes to update my collection (because, yes, I do take iTune’s suggestions), I stumbled upon this little musical masterpiece (I REALLY wish this was a joke):

Guess we ALL know what wink faces and emoticons insinuate. I suppose this doesn’t really fall under my typical wadrobe WhyDid’s, so let’s just file this under WhyDidYouProduceThat?? It seems you could write a song about cookie dough and egg nog and make a hit (I have both in case you need either).

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did Wisdom: Hey Girls…

By Kirsten|March 6th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

BikiniSnowAngel

Let’s not get overzealous. While gallivanting last evening, I was startled to see SO MANY young ladies parading their naked legs around town. I get it, we finally hit above 40 degrees yesterday, but that is no reason to get ahead of ourselves. It’s still freaking cold out.

I’m not quite ready to see your pasty stems. Just because it’s March and we saw a few hours of sun, does NOT mean that it’s time to break out the bare legs and open toed sandals. You haven’t even prepared yet! Before the legs come out (which is right around the corner), you must hit the gym and de-pasty yourself. The first girl I saw I thought was a fluke. However, I continued to see bare legs left and right. Casper was hittin da club scene. I mean, I can’t. It was actually startling. Like smack me in my face startling.

Let’s hold off, my friends. It’s not time yet. I will send out the smoke signal when it is. In the meantime, keep your pants on, ladies!

xx,

WhyDid

Behind Every Fabulous Woman is an Even More Fabulous Gay Man

By Kirsten|March 5th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

brit

It has been hypothesized that if Britney had had at least one gay in her life, the meltdown of ’08 may have been avoided. I tend to agree with this. In my opinion, every great girl has got to have a great gay somewhere in her life.

Ever heard of Lady Gaga? Oh, you have? Well, guess what. She has a little something called the Haus of Gaga and it consists of a team of her best friends who are also responsible for all of her amazing/ridiculous outfits. Who wants to wager on their sexual orientation? Just saying…

Gawker did a little number on the gay/straight relationship and while there are some valid points, I don’t completely agree with it. Sounds like it was written by a bitchy queen who doesn’t value real friendship. I have been blessed to have one of the greatest gays I’ve ever met be a part of my life. He likes my boy drama and is always down for a little shopping trip- but that’s because he’s actually my friend. I listen to his boy drama too- and if he’s looking for a sequin blazer, I’m right by his side. But alas, they’re right about not trying to set up your gay. I wouldn’t even know where to begin (top? bottom?) and we often bicker about why each other’s prospective love interests SUCK.

That being said, there’s a plethora of reasons why girls need gays:

They will tell you if you look fat. I’ve always said that when it’s time to shop for wedding dresses, I’m bringing a gay man. They have nothing to gain/lose by telling you the truth. Once, while getting ready for a big event, my gay bff informed me that he, in fact, hated what I was about to walk out the door in. This caused an emergency wardrobe change. My clothes have never come off faster!
Speaking of changing, feel free to prance around in your pantaloons. He doesn’t care. When slipping out of my dress, we started hysterically laughing about his incredibly close proximity to my nipple.
Sleepovers!! It’s nice to have a man around the house. Especially one whose socks you don’t have to pick up. How nice is it to have some testosterone without having to worry about a knock at your “back door” in the morning?
Considering most gay men pride themselves on being well groomed, well, dressed, and all around good looking, they make for great arm candy. Don’t have a date to your upcoming function? Bring your gay bff. They look great in the photos and they’re probably a lot more fun on the dance floor than whatever suit you were planning on bringing.

Now, they aren’t like a handbag. A gay man is not an accessory and shouldn’t be treated as such. Make sure you friendship is just that… a real relationship with someone who you care about. Basically, a gay man is the perfect hybrid between your best girlfriend and a boyfriend minus all the drama. I really can’t think of anything better. (Though the maltese/poodle hybrid is up there).

So what am I trying to say? Basically, Brit Brit wouldn’t have lost her shit shit if she’d had a gay compadre to reel her crazy ass in.

xx,

WhyDid

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WhyDid Wisdom: A Word to the Wise…

By Kirsten|March 3rd, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

nightclub-sparkler-procession

After feeling officially old by having to help (an even older) friend celebrate his birthday at a NIGHTCLUB last night, I realized that I could be helpful to some of you young ladies. I’m still in my 20’s but a few years can make all the difference. Here are some things I wish I’d known as a fresh face in the big city.

I mean, first and foremost, don’t date a DJ. (This also includes club promoter, club owner, or any other kind of “nightlife” type). You’re just asking for trouble. They have opposite schedules from you (unless you’re a cocktail waitress or bartender). They are constantly surrounded by “temptation.” 9 times out of 10, you’re going to get burned and I don’t mean from a bottle sparkler (though that’s possible too).
Don’t show up where you know your ex is to try and “show him what he’s missing.” There’s a reason he’s your ex. He isn’t “missing” anything- most certainly not you. Go home. Save face.
If you insist on parading around in front of your ex, don’t over-slut it. There’s a fine line between sexy and stripper. Don’t cross it.
Put on a bra for heaven’s sake. You’re 20. Your boobs should still be perky. This is why I’m an advocate for either fake boobs, or flat chests. They don’t sag. (I told you I’m very black and white).
Alcohol not only makes you fat, it also ages your skin. While going out every single night sounds like a good idea in theory, you’ll thank me later when you’re still getting carded at halfway to 30.
Going along with #5, let people wonder where you are. Remember when Paris Hilton was on EVERY SINGLE red carpet? She was like a cockroach who just wouldn’t die. Don’t be a cockroach. Stay home. Read a book. People will be more excited when you DO decide to show up.
You aren’t going to meet your future husband at a nightclub. If you think you are, you’re going to wake up at 30 and wonder where all the nice guys are. They’re home. Being a functioning member of society. Not at a nightclub on a Tuesday. Promise. Hell, I pinky swear.
Less is more. How many different ways can I tell you this? Don’t spend 8 hours perfecting your outfit. Everyone’s drunk anyway. Between that and the strobe lights, no one will be able to tell you what you wore last night. Besides, do you really want to ruin your new Herve by being doused with cranberry and vodka? (B tee dubs, stick with soda as a mixer. Fewer calories and doesn’t stain).
Please don’t be “that girl.” We all like to have fun, but don’t be the one with the lampshade on her head. You want to cherish these fun moments in life, but that’s kind of hard when you’re black out drunk.
Nothing good ever happens after 2am. Go home.

You’re young. Have fun, but heed my advice. Just think of me like your big sister- just here to help. I wish I’d had some words of wisdom from someone (slightly) older and (much) wiser. Moisturize, drink plenty of water, take 2 Advil and call me in the morning.

xx,

WhyDid

Oh- P dot S… white guys- Don’t dance. Just don’t.

Why Don’t You Eat Me: Alidoro, I love you. Won’t You Tell Me Your Name?

By Kirsten|March 1st, 2010|Guest Blogger, Why Don't You Eat Me?|

Alidoro700

In a city full of famous delis, you’d figure it would be pretty easy to find a good sandwich, right? Hardly. Most of those “famous delis” are just tourist traps and you won’t get out of there with a sammy under $15. No, thank you.

That being said, if you haven’t heard of this small Italian sandwich shop, then you’re welcome in advance (I accept gratuity in both Louboutins and Cartier). Tucked away on Sullivan Street in Soho is Alidoro. This is by far the BEST sandwich shop in NYC. I used to go to the gym before stopping in to justify the 1000 calories I was about to ingest. This place is worth every last calorie though. Not to mention the owner is a really cute Italian guy. (Sucker for accents).

I’ve tried quite a few of their sandwiches and all of them are pretty amazing (each named good ol’ Italian names), but one sandwich is BEYOND amazing. It’s so good that I’d gladly trade my cat (sorry, Ellis!) for one. It’s called the “Pavarotti.” What isn’t appetizing about a fat opera singer? Seriously. The Pavarotti has salami, smoked mozzarella, sun dried tomatoes, artichokes, and sweet roasted peppers and I always opt to get it on white Italian bread (they have options such as white, whole wheat, focaccia). Just like dear old Pavarotti himself, this bad boy is massive! No worries, I can scarf it down in one sitting.

pavarotti

Another favorite sandwich here is the “Matthew” and I would probably order it more often if it weren’t named after my ex. The Matthew has prosciutto, fresh mozzarella, dressing, and arugula on it. In a word: Delish. Honestly, you really can’t go wrong here. I’d move into the apartment upstairs just to get closer to my favorite sandwich if I could.

Alidoro is another place with basically all pros and no cons. There’s usually a bit of a line, but that’s to be expected in a tiny sandwich shop. They also don’t offer condiments like mayonnaise, mustard, etc. and actually have a list telling you not to even bother asking for them. Love that.

Alidoro definitely gets 5 out of 5 mouths for having excellent ingredients, excellent sandwiches, and being altogether quite excellent! Buon appetite!

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