WhyDid Wisdom | WhyDid.com

Why Did You Date Him: If You Have to Ask…

By Kirsten|December 8th, 2010|Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Date Him?|

I should be shot for admitting this… but the other day I was watching Married to Rock on E! (I know) and one of the women on the show- I believe her name is AJ- decided that it was time to take matters into her own hands. She is the only one on the show who is not officially “married” to rock. Apparently feeling left out, she hits the jeweler and picks out a rock for herself and starts to plan a grand proposal to her rocker love.

Um, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news… but if you have to ask… you probably already know the answer. There is no reason that you should need to go out and buy your own ring (not to mention his) and essentially propose to yourself. If a man wants to marry you, he will.

By putting your man on the spot, you may end up with an unwanted outcome. We all know, most men would probably rather remove their own penises before having to tell you the awful truth. So, while he may say “yes” out of sheer horror, I fear that you may be in for your very own frightfest down the road when he realizes he doesn’t want to go through with it.

There are some gender roles that don’t need to be reversed. Just sayin…

So, would you propose to your man?

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Cut It Out

By Kirsten|December 3rd, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

Today while Skyping with one of my besties in New York, we giggled about how at times, I go ahead and take the next exit to CrazyTown. That sometimes, I can be completely melodramatic. And quite honestly, I’m an emotional cutter.

This actually isn’t funny and I’m not like Demi Lovato cutting. I do not inflict physical harm on myself, but I do tend to enjoy inflicting emotional pain on myself. For some reason I like to see things that are going to hurt my feelings. I can’t explain it, but I find myself doing things that I know ahead of time are going to hurt me. I’ve mentioned before that I have crazy P.I. skills and at times those can be really helpful, but at other times they can be totally detrimental to my mental well being.

Why on earth do I need to see that Twitpic? Why would I want to read something mean someone said about me? Why do I want to read blogs that totally rip me off? All very good questions. It’s almost like I enjoy feeling the pain. And don’t you worry. I’m not selfish with my pain. I like to share it with those around me.

It’s like when you have a cut in your mouth and you keep sticking your tongue in it. Perhaps I’m a masochist. Maybe I’m self destructive. One thing’s for certain, I’m fully aware of my problem. That is again, a blessing and a curse. I’m happy to be well aware of my self abusive behavior, however, being aware of such makes me become responsible for myself. So, the other day, I started taking steps forward in “cutting” this self cutting habit from my life. I started deleting toxic people from my life.

If you find yourself participating in this same behavior, ask yourself, “why?” Is it that hard to just be happy?

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Too Much Stuff Makes Me Sad

By Kirsten|November 25th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

As I mentioned before, when I came to LA in July, I only came with a carry on. Enough for a long weekend. I mean, fortunately for me, I tend to over pack… so my “weekend” is probably a normal person’s seven day vacation. Regardless of such, I had about 1/64th of the contents of my closet with me. So how did I manage with a smattering of my wardrobe for nearly four months? Surprisingly, just fine.

Having only a few different combinations for each outfit made my life more simple. Granted, I may have picked up a few items here and there, but nothing crazy. Just a little somethin’ somethin’ to add a little bit of variety.

Eventually, one of my best friends came to visit and brought me a suitcase full of my clothing with another box of my clothes following close on her heels. I thought I would be totally elated to have some more of my very favorite articles of clothing, but when it all arrived, I felt melancholy rather than manic.

I can’t logically explain the feeling that I got when I was hanging up my clothes in our closet, but it was a very blue feeling. It was almost like having too much stuff made me sad. How could this be? Everyone knows the person with the most stuff wins, right? Um, no. I prided myself on having more clothes than one girl could ever wear, but having been without for a while, I had learned what was truly important to me. I realized that sometimes (more often than not) less is more. This goes not only for clothes, but also for money, friends, and material things. Focus more on what matters and less on what doesn’t. The things that can’t be sold on eBay are more important than those that can.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him: Deal or No Deal?

By Kirsten|November 19th, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

Recently, a male friend was filling me in on the details of his current romantic situation and he mentioned that his lady love had dished up an ultimatum. Yikes! All had been going well- or so he thought- until she let him know that it was her way or the highway.

While he was a bit caught off guard by what she’d said, I knew precisely what she was up to. Women often like to throw out a good ol’ fashion ultimatum in hopes that it will scare the pants off her man and secure her role in the relationship.

I mean, I don’t want to play Captain Obvious here, but your dating life is not a gameshow, ladies. Trying to pull trickery on your man isn’t going to get you any closer to the Showcase Showdown and I can pretty much guarantee it’s not going to land you a briefcase full of a million dollars

I have a bit of a flair for the dramatic, so, I, too am guilty of pulling this little move. My mom warned me once to make very certain I MEANT what I was saying before saying it. There’s no point to an empty threat. There’s a reason I had moving boxes stacked in my old apartment three months before actually moving out.

When giving an ultimatum, there are several possible outcomes. So, go ahead and brace yourself for one of the following:

Your mate will call your bluff. This is when you better be ready to pony up and face the consequences of your words.

Your mate will no longer take you seriously. Ever hear of The Boy Who Cried Wolf? Overuse empty threats too often and eventually you will not be taken seriously. Your words are now watered down and have zero credibility.

It will work. Temporarily. When you have to “force” someone to do something it isn’t natural and will eventually implode . Yeah, sure, you got him to stay a few months longer because you threatened to kill yourself if he left, but really? He probably now a) thinks you’re bat shit crazy, and b) is plotting his exit strategy every time he looks at your crazy ass.

If you think threatening a man is going to get him to do what you want, you’re sorely mistaken. The fastest way to get a man to run for the hills is by trying to paint him into a corner. Feel free to go ahead and spin the wheel of love, but I can’t promise it won’t land on “bankrupt.”

xx,

WhyDid

Love Don’t Cost a Thing

By Kirsten|November 17th, 2010|Gift Guide, Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

Speaking of engagements…

Love is a beautiful thing, but man, is it expensive! A lot of guys say that they aren’t able to “pull the trigger” because they can’t afford the ring.I want to go ahead and call bullshit… except, of course, if the girl has an expected ring in mind. (One of the three carat caliber). When girls set crazy parameters on the type of ring they’re hoping for, they’re really just shooting themselves in the foot. That puts a huge amount of pressure on a guy and also probably makes him wonder whether you love him or his checkbook. If you want to get a great diamond ring go to Iturralde Diamonds.

If you really want to be with someone for the rest of your life, a ring should never be the thing to hold you back, nor should it be the only reason you want to marry someone. When a man really wants to be with you, he will find a way to put a ring on it in whatever way he is capable of, and he would get himself at JewelersTradeShop.com and ensure that she gets nothing but the best- and you should be flattered by whatever it is that he pledges his love to you with. He should be able to propose to you with a Ring Pop and you’d say, “YES!”. Our society has started to focus on merely the carat size rather than the commitment level and that probably has a lot to do with the over 50% divorce rate. I’d pick a guy with a pure heart over a stone with perfect clarity.

With that being said, why not pick out a beautiful ring that is as affordable as it is unique? Here are several modern options (all under $2,500!):