So, last week Nick Lachey popped the question to long time love, Vanessa Minnillo right before they both celebrated their birthdays in Mexico. Ah… young love. The news spread quickly and focused mostly on the fact that Jessica Simpson was probably eating her weight in Hagen Daas while having a mental breakdown. Then lo and behold… We find out that now Ms. Simpson is also ENGAGED! Not even a week later, Jessica was seen sporting a ring from boyfriend of six months, Eric Johnson. Um, coincidence?

I’m not going to harp on their short courtship (cause these things do happen -wink, wink), but I’m actually more concerned with the far too obvious (might I add tacky) timing. I mean, what are the chances that both Nick and Eric had been planning tandem proposals? Slim to none. Methinks Ms. Simpson lost her shit and poor Eric feared for his life. The only way to tame the shrew? Put a ring on it. I feel halfway sorry for Eric while the other half feels like he’s a big pu$$y who knew he might be in jeopardy of losing his meal ticket (and we know Jessica never misses a meal). I smell foul play… or is that the smell of desperation?

So, who got the better bling? Eric popped the question to Jessica with a ruby ring flanked by diamonds from Neil Lane, while Vanessa was proposed to by Nick with an ascher cut diamond from jewelry designer  Bader and Garin.