Oh, why yes, today is Friday the 13th.  What a perfect day for things to suck!  I can barely even see straight so just writing this is going to be a feat in and of itself.  If there are type-o’s or I can’t quite form a cohesive sentence, deal with it.  I am.

1. Having to pretend I care.  (pssst- I don’t).
2. Men in tank tops.  Seriously, just stop.
3. The morning after.
4. Having to break the news that your +1 has gone to +none.
5. Sitting down at a desk to write this list and seeing this bitch staring back at me:
6. When your chapstick has melted unbeknownst to you and then you open it and start to apply it only to give yourself an at home wax.
7. Picking up a drink and thinking it’s going to be one thing, say water, and it turning out to be something else, say vodka.
8. Mushrooms.
9. Applying so much eye cream that you look at yourself in the mirror midday and realize that your mascara is now on your cheeks.  Cool.
10. Your face.

xx,

WhyDid

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It’s no secret that I love checking the crazy things people Google to find WhyDid.  Sometimes they are just simple things like “what to wear to Soho House” or “what to wear to the airport.”  Other times, the topics are a bit more obscure like “hardest nipples in Hollywood” and I have to stop to ask, “You touch your mother with those fingers?”  This week was no different.  As per usual, cameltoe tops the list and you guys really, really love Katy Perry.  Well, I’m here to do what I do best and that is give the people what they want!!  Here’s ten of this week’s more Googled topics:

1. Can I wear black to a garden wedding.  I mean, you can.  But do you really want to be that morbid girl wearing black at such a joyous event?  Try these for guidelines instead.
2. White girl weave.  Not only have I worn one, I’ve expressed my great love for them.
3. Gladstones Malibu.  Love, love, love this place.  And yes, yes I did go there when in LA a couple of months ago. 
4. Kirsten Smith Maxim.  As it turns out, I might have made an appearance.  If you can find it, congratulations.  You’ve got too much time on your hands.
5. How to do a top knot.  I love a good top knot.  Here’s a step by step tutorial… but I think I’m going to have to make a video soon.
6. Celebrities wearing sneakers.  Everyone from Ann Hathaway to Alessandra Ambrosio was seen sporting stylish sneaks.
7. Kerastase Cristalliste.  There has been so much interest in this line.  Stay tuned for a veeeery exciting contest…
8. Girl wearing glasses.  I guess people really dig girls who wear glasses.  Just please don’t be one of those people who wears fake ones…
9. Chalking hair.  Did a little tutorial on that.  I might add spraying hair with hairspray to set color as well.
10. Explanation why you stupid.  I got nothing.

The search continues.

xx,

WhyDid

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You didn’t think that just because I missed a couple week’s of the list that my life had turned into a magical fairytale, did you? Get real. I was taking a breather and counting to a billion.

1. Spending money on expensive sheets only to wake up in a pile of nerd balls.
2. Gerber daisies. Sorry.
3. Indian givers. I’m fairly certain that when you give someone a gift, there is no return policy.
4. Facebook timeline. Don’t like it can’t make me. Oh wait.
5. Vet bills. I appreciate you exploiting my emotions while emptying my wallet.
6. Men on Pinterest. Ladies, if your husband/boyfriend is pinning at his computer… he may very well want to be “pinning” all kinds of other things (wink, wink).
7. Creepy married men. Sir, I can see your ring.
8. People who have conversations at an excessively loud decibel. This goes double when said individuals are discussing last night’s episode of Gossip Girl, Real Housewives, etc. How do you know if I’ve watched yet?
9. Name dropping. I just mopped the floor. Can you pick that up?
10. Not being able to just marry my dog.

Thanks and goodnight.

xx,

WhyDid

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While I’ve sort of been living in a bubble for the past few weeks, watching only reruns of Sex and the City and drinking copious amounts of wine, that hasn’t stopped annoying things from popping up in my otherwise pleasant life.

1. Having to put on a brave face when all you really want to do is hide under the covers.  For a year.
2. Shaving.
3. Forgetting why you stopped wearing a certain pair of shoes and then wearing them only to remember exactly why you stopped wearing them.
4. Pork chops.
5. Being completely and utterly blindsided.
6. Realizing you are out of toilet paper when it’s just a little too late.
7. Waking up in the middle of the night with the TV still on and hearing the Unsolved Mysteries theme song.
8. The film on your teeth after eating Greek yogurt.  Feels like the next time you open your mouth it’s going to look like a sheet of Saran Wrap.
9. Kanye West again showing at Paris Fashion Week.  If New York is good enough for Michael Kors, it should be (more than) good enough for you.
10. Kony.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some SATC to get back to.

xx,
WhyDid

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Ever have one of those weeks where it seems like nothing is working?  It’s like everywhere you go, everything you do… something is broken.  It’s enough to make even the most well adjusted individual go a little bit cuckoo.  It seems you just can not catch a break… or maybe you’ve caught too many?

1. Breaking the ice.
2. Breaking a nail a mere fifteen minutes after a fresh manicure.
3. Broken hooks in bathroom stalls leaving you with nowhere to put your purse and forcing you to hold onto your Balenciaga while you hover.
4. Broken hearts.
5. The train breaking down while you’re stuck underground and you’re sandwiched between a man eating a salami sandwich and a woman filing her nails.
6. Broken stoplights causing complete and utter chaos ’cause no one has the good sense to take turns.
7. Broken promises.
8. Eyeliner breaking mid application sending shards of synthetic materials right into your retina… leading to tear stained cheeks and an appearance resembling that of a Cezanne watercolor
9. Broken dreams.
10. Being broke.

Well, if it ain’t broke…
xx,
WhyDid

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