Why Don’t You Love Me?

While some hypothesize that Valentine’s Day is just a fabricated holiday brought to you straight from the fine folks at Hallmark, I will never argue with a holiday that is all about love, chocolate, flowers, and lingerie.  With a mere five days to go until the big day, I have compiled a list of gifts that you will probably want to forward to your significant other ASAP!  Whether you’ve just started dating or you’re in for the long haul, these Valentine’s gifts are sure to make even Cupid smile. I’ve rated them G (you’re still at the sweet beginning or maybe you are buying these for your mom or sister) to R (you’re ready to cut loose and swing from the chandeliers!).  In any case, there’s something for everyone.

Clockwise: Umbra Storage Box, $24.99, Juicy Couture Valentine Crepe Playsuit, $98, Rebecca Minkoff Fluoro Snake MAC Clutch, $330, iPod Nano 8GB, $149, Moonstruck Chocolatier Love Bug Chocolate Truffles, $25.95, Graphic Image Heart Lock Diary, $95

Clockwise: Eberjey Anouk Teddy, $71, Booty Parlor Melt Body Fondue, $15, 1 5/8 Carat Morganite and 3/8 Carat Black Diamond 14K Pink Gold Earrings, $475, Kiki de Montparnasse Boyfriend Garter Tank, $125, Cosabella Satin and Lace Babydoll Pajamas, $144,  Veuve Clicquot Rose, $61.99

Clockwise: Agent Provocateur Imogen Set, $250, American Caviar Sampler Set, $76.70, Kiki de Montparnasse My Tie Cuffs, $175, Cosabella Peek a Boo Pantyhose, $35, Jimmy Jane Body and Soul Set, $185, Jack Vartanian Large Handcuff Necklace, $1,290



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Why Did You Date Him: Let’s Just Be Friends


Oh dating. Aren’t you fun? I mean, as bad as you suck for us ladies… you must really suck for guys. Hey fellas, how many times have you heard, “I really like you… as a friend“? What the *#%#?

After countless dinners, flowers, opening doors, and sweet nothings… you get just that: Nothing. So, what is it that takes a guy from “just a friend” to “my future baby’s daddy”?

  • Sad as it is, we love bad boys. I discussed this with our fantastic interns today. They are seniors at USC and still lovin’ those boys you wouldn’t take home to mama. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a gentleman, but there’s a fine line between gentile and doormat. Tread lightly.
  • Just like girls can be overzealous and clingy, guys can be too. You know how much you like that cat and mouse game of playing hard to get? We like it too. Don’t blow up my inbox and don’t keep calling til I answer.
  • “Going Dutch.” (Also know as being a cheap @**hole). If you split the bill, she’s gonna split. Period. Done. Goodbye.
  • If you share a bed and there is no type of contact, she now thinks of you like her gay bff. As far as she’s concerned… you’re gay (and there’s NO coming back from that). We get you’re trying to be polite, but at least attempt to cop a feel.
  • Talking about “your feelings.” That’s our job. Stop trying to steal the show. Shut up and crush a beer can on your head.
  • Wearing more makeup or hair products than we do. Um,  yeah… We don’t like to share our mascara (it’s unsanitary).
  • Do not under any circumstances, high five me, chest bump me, or “pound fists” with me.

By avoiding all of the above, you may actually have a shot in hell with the lady of your dreams. Check, please!



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Bamboozle 101
Written by: WhyDid | Somethin for the fellas


Have you ever heard of the “bait and switch?”  You know, you’re promised one thing and somehow end up with something completely different. This can  happen in with “As Seen on TV” situations as well as your own personal dating life. Guys have all types of tricks up their sleeves, therefore, it is important to be alert. This little ditty is going to be both a blessing and a curse. For the ladies, heed this as a warning. For the gentlemen, you’re welcome. Now you have new and creative ways to pull the wool over your lady’s eyes (unless, of course, your gf reads WhyDid… and if she doesn’t, she probably deserves it).

All That Sparkles…

While jewelry shopping one fine day, the very knowledgeable woman working at the store informed me of a little trick that men sometimes play. As you are (or should be) well aware, diamonds are very expensive. Well, have no fear: white sapphires very, very closely resemble diamonds. So much so, that to an untrained eye, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them even when they are sitting side by side. So guess what? Cubic zirconia is not your only enemy now, ladies. The young woman in the store told me that many of her male clients purchase these as a cheap substitute for their lady friends. So those diamonds in your ears? It’s bullshit.

P12046783Real or fake?

Don’t Judge a Gift by Its Box

Going right along with the good ol’ sapphire switch is the box switch. This is pretty elementary. Some girls are only concerned with where something comes from. For instance, simply seeing a Tiffany’s box will make some girls panties drop. They are so excited about the fancy wrapping that they forget to notice the jenky piece of tinfoil inside. That new heart pendant necklace of yours? It’s bullshit.

Table for Two

Have you ever received an invitation to a group dinner from a guy you know only to show up and find that it is a quiet cozy table for two? Weird. Everyone canceled last minute! Hate when that happens. Congrats, you get to spend the next ninety plus minutes coming up with small talk for a “date” you didn’t agree to. So next time you’re invited to dinner “with a bunch of friends?” It’s bullshit.

Step Into My Cubicle

Wow, your bf sure does spend a lot of time on his Blackberry! Don’t worry though! He’s really just doing work. Very, very important work that MUST be addressed during your romantic dinner date. How is he going to be able to take you to nice places and afford you all these luxuries if he doesn’t work so hard? Jen, Julie, and Jessica are all just girls he works with. Don’t worry!! Next time your man explains why his Bberry needs to accompany your crudite on the table? Check, please. It’s bullshit.

Destination Unknown

So, your man informs you that he’s going on a little weekend trip with his buddies. Where are they going? Golf trip to Palm Springs? Ski trip in Utah? No, no, wine tasting in Vermont. Wait. What? Is your man gay? If he’s not, this is code (read: red alert) that he and his buddy are taking a trip with some ladies… who aren’t you. Some quiet bonding time with the fellas in Catalina? It’s bullshit.

One of These Things Is Not Like the Others

The new box of condoms, the strand of hair that is neither your color nor length, the random pink toothbrush, and the Fage yogurt in the fridge is not his maid’s, his sister’s, his friend Paul’s or his. Guys forget how observant we, as women, are. I remember noticing that Scrabble had been moved from its normal spot on the shelf when I had been out of town. Some other bitch was spelling words and spilling wine. Oops! If it’s not yours and he doesn’t even have a sister… It’s bullshit.

So, if your man presents you with one of the above scenarios, kindly pat him on the head, ask him to try again, and let him know this isn’t your first time at the rodeo.



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