May
20
2011
0


The List Volume XLV

This week the list is dedicated to all you men out there.  At times, I am utterly appalled by your behavior and wonder why we women haven’t boycotted you altogether.

So gentlemen, read carefully.  Ladies, please feel free to print this sucker out and affix it to any and all men’s bathroom doors.

  1. Money can’t buy you love.  Yes, it’s true.  Girls love gifts.  And while this may work for a little while, there will come a time when you need to pony up and show us what you’re made of.  A new pair of Louboutins for every you time you $*%* up will fill our closets, not our hearts. (Sidenote: bragging about your cash is vulgar.  It doesn’t impress us -at least not the nice girls- it just makes us think you’re insecure).
  2. Your grooming habits and products should not be more complex nor should they take up the space of mine.  A little “manscaping” is one thing. Highlighted hair, waxed brows, and manzilians aren’t things that I want to have in common with you.  If I liked girls, I’d date Ellen Degeneres.
  3. Man boobs.  Never, ever should your breasts resemble your lady friend’s.  If you happen to be one of those gentlemen who grew mammaries overnight, at least cover them up by not wearing a silky shirt that emphasizes your newly swollen teets.  If you happen to pass by the mirror and turn yourself on with the tittays you see, it’s time to hit the gym.
  4. Pushing women out of the way to get on the subway/train, front of the line, etc. first.  Who are you?  Did you not have a mother?  Have a little bit of class.  Forget what ya heard, chivalry is not dead.
  5. Arnold Schwarzenegger.  You, my friend, have now joined the ranks of Jesse James and Tiger Woods.  Congrats.  Oh, and by the way, Jesse – all men do not cheat.
  6. Cat calls.  Um, how’s your ROI been on those?  Remember this little experiment?
  7. Tank tops.  They aren’t meant for you.  I don’t care if you are some cutie patootie with nice triceps.  You still have armpit hair.  And furthermore, by you wearing that tank top, you’re sending the message to other men (probably the ones who have no business wearing one) that it is, in fact, fine to flaunt the fat.
  8. Belching, farting, scratching.  We get it.  These things happen.  The body must function as it will– not at its will.  Thing is- we don’t need to know you do it.  Just like women never poop.  Some secrets are meant to be kept.
  9. Bromances.  It’s nice to have friends.  We love our girls’ nights too.  However, dating (aka taking care of) one guy is hard enough.  Don’t make me babysit your bestie too.
  10. “No” means “no.” This may be a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes… we’re just not interested.  Calling us a “bitch” or “fat heifer” just cause we shot you down isn’t going to get you very far.  All it does is solidify what a douchebag you are.

xx,

WhyDid

 

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Feb
24
2011
0


Why Did You Wear That: Home on the Range
Written by: WhyDid | Somethin for the fellas

I realize that I give the Hollywood starlets a lot of crap for going out in public in their crazy get ups, so I figured it was high time to level the playing field and turn the tables on the boys.  After all, fellas are perfectly prone to fashion eff ups as well.

Speaking of which, here is the oh so handsome Mr. Moore Ashton Kutcher proving just how susceptible men are to fashion flubs:

Yikes!  With an outfit like that, I’m not sure I’d want to be his friend… let alone his friend with benefits.  Wait… wrong movie.  Anyway, I’m a little surprised the always elegant, always divine Demi Moore would let her boy toy leave the house looking like a ranch hand.  I get that Ashton is a little quirky, but this is more along the lines of dorky.  Rule number one for every man out there: just say “NO” to khakis.  If he was going to go with such a bold blanket jacket, he would have been better off pairing it with dark denim and a plain white T-shirt.  That actually might have looked pretty cool.

Instead, he looks like he just wrestled a buffalo (and lost).  Better luck next time, Ashton, but this time you’ve been Punk’d.

xx,

WhyDid

Photos via The Superficial

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Feb
09
2011
0


Why Don’t You Love Me?

While some hypothesize that Valentine’s Day is just a fabricated holiday brought to you straight from the fine folks at Hallmark, I will never argue with a holiday that is all about love, chocolate, flowers, and lingerie.  With a mere five days to go until the big day, I have compiled a list of gifts that you will probably want to forward to your significant other ASAP!  Whether you’ve just started dating or you’re in for the long haul, these Valentine’s gifts are sure to make even Cupid smile. I’ve rated them G (you’re still at the sweet beginning or maybe you are buying these for your mom or sister) to R (you’re ready to cut loose and swing from the chandeliers!).  In any case, there’s something for everyone.

Clockwise: Umbra Storage Box, $24.99, Juicy Couture Valentine Crepe Playsuit, $98, Rebecca Minkoff Fluoro Snake MAC Clutch, $330, iPod Nano 8GB, $149, Moonstruck Chocolatier Love Bug Chocolate Truffles, $25.95, Graphic Image Heart Lock Diary, $95

Clockwise: Eberjey Anouk Teddy, $71, Booty Parlor Melt Body Fondue, $15, 1 5/8 Carat Morganite and 3/8 Carat Black Diamond 14K Pink Gold Earrings, $475, Kiki de Montparnasse Boyfriend Garter Tank, $125, Cosabella Satin and Lace Babydoll Pajamas, $144,  Veuve Clicquot Rose, $61.99

Clockwise: Agent Provocateur Imogen Set, $250, American Caviar Sampler Set, $76.70, Kiki de Montparnasse My Tie Cuffs, $175, Cosabella Peek a Boo Pantyhose, $35, Jimmy Jane Body and Soul Set, $185, Jack Vartanian Large Handcuff Necklace, $1,290

xx,

WhyDid

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2010
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2010
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