Why In Gay Hell Wouldn’t I Be Tan?

Sooo it’s “Beach Week” here at WhyDid and obviously you can’t go prancing around the pool looking pasty. So what’s a girl to do?  Get a tan, of course! I don’t mean go fry yourself under a heat lamp like a piece of fried chicken.  No one looks good with premature wrinkles and skin cancer.  I mean fake the funk with a fake tan.  To illustrate this, WhyDon’tYouEatMe, WhyDidYouWearThat, and I set off on a spray tan adventure which we’ll share with you below. Sit back, switch your heat lamp off and enjoy.

Sooo what was the outcome? Well, we’re all tan. We all have some degree of “tan palms.” The Fusion Glow tan of WhyDon’tYouEatMe was the most subtle and just gave a slightly sunkissed glow. A Tan For All Seasons gave WhyDidYouWearThat a bronze tan that looks like she spent a few days at the beach. It actually came out very brown as opposed to orange like a tangerine. And as for me? I am not nearly as tan as I was hoping to be. If you are only looking to be somewhat tan, Tan Towel is a good option, but not if you want to look like you spent a week baking in Jamaica. All in all, we all look beach ready. Remember, people, a fake tan is not a real base tan and you should ALWAYS use some type of sunscreen when basking in the UV rays. I mean, Why In Gay Hell would you want to look like a lobster when you can look like a Greek god?

xx,

WhyInGayHell

(*WhyDon’tYouEatMe’s bikini by American Apparel, WhyDidYouWearThat’s bikini by Vitamin A)

Why In Gay Hell Wouldn’t I Get Waxed?

Three weeks ago, I found myself in a conversation about male waxing. It was a funny conversation that left me with a few questions. The main one being are men getting their lower regions waxed? I mean, I am all about personal grooming- I get my hair did, eyebrows waxed, beard  trimmed, facials etc. With all of these services I am at total ease with letting the professionals take care of it, but the below the belt stuff I take care of myself. Until three weeks ago I was completely unaware that men could even get waxed..down there, at first thought I was horrified…I mean Why In Gay Hell would you wax your balls?

Well, after a thorough investigation into the world of male waxing , I found that it is much more popular than I thought. So, I decided…if everyone else is doing it, I want to do it too! (I mean, when in Rome…).

Now this is a  very delicate area to have waxed soooo I want the BEST and this led me to Face to Face Spa to meet a star in his field…. Enrique Ramirez. Enrique is a master in the field of male waxing (he is a master in all aesthetics actually) and he is also the owner of the spa. The male waxing services are cleverly named to sound less intimidating: full moon rising, crack down, south of the border, and my favorite, the marble sac and shaft! I decided on the crack down and the marble sac and shaft. I mean, go big or go home, right? The pain was minimal and well worth the results. I don’t know about other guys out there, but with shaving there is a lot of maintenance. With waxing, you’re smooth and hairless for a month- and when I say smooth I mean like a baby’s ass! The trick to getting waxed is finding a person you’re comfortable with. Let’s be honest, it’s very hands on (to say the least). Enrique is sooo professional and personable that the whole situation from start to hairless ass finish was a delight.

Now, of course, WhyDidYouWearThat and I had to video this journey and we have posted it below to share with you (probably not work appropriate – just a warning). it also has an interview with Mr Enrique himself! Sooo enjoy the video and ask yourself Why In gay Hell wouldn’t I get waxed?

xx,

WhyInGayHell

We’re So Mad

We love themes. Not sure if you heard. So, when our dear friend, CindyLou told us she wanted to celebrate her birthday a la the Mad Hatter, we were all over it.

And don’t be silly.  There were obviously cupcakes involved (it IS Cupcake week after all).

Cuppies courtesy of Red Velvet… now we’ve all tested them out and WhyDon’tYouEatMe was dead on (obvi). Good news for our sweet tooth, bad news for our thighs and heads.

xx,

WhyDid

(music: La Roux- Bulletproof)

Why In Gay Hell Wouldn’t You Want My Cupcakes?

You may think cupcakes are all fun and games. I mean, what kind of harm could a cupcake do (besides add a few vanity pounds)? Well, let me tell you how a box of cupcakes nearly ruined my life.

I, like most girls, sometimes get ahead of myself when it comes to relationships. I mean, on a first date I already know what our wedding looks like, the house we will live in, and our childrens’ names (yes, names vary on the guy). I know I just recently wrote a blog about learning to love myself and yes, we are still on that journey… but, I can date, right? ……WRONG

Well, not so long ago I started talking to a guy and when we first started talking it was just as friends. The nice thing about this was there were no labels put on it. It was just two people talking, getting to know one another, enjoying each other. You get my drift. I am a lunatic though and after the first week,  my heart started racing and I grew emotionally attached. I was very honest with how UNREALISTIC these feelings of ”love” were and I expressed this to WhyDidYouWearThat quite often. I also knew in my heart, the timing was wrong for this (something else discussed in length with WDYWT).  I knew it wouldn’t be long til I was like an REO Speedwagon song saying, “I cant Fight This Feeling Anymore.”

Sooo we kept it light for as long as we could, but the attraction and the chemistry was undeniable. The Friday before Valentine’s Day we had dinner and it was a great night except towards the end of dinner the conversation fell on the topic of US. What are we? What are we doing?  Where do we want to go with this? The conversation seemed to go well and we decided to keep things simple and just continue to get to know each other. Before we said, “goodnight” for the evening I asked him to go to the movies with me on Sunday. Yes, Valentine’s Day. He accepted and my heart rejoiced.  I rode away on my unicorn with a smile on my face.

Valentine’s Day comes along. I go and purchase a card for him with the help of WDYWT.  It was perfect.  It said “Congrats, you’re my Valentine.” And because Cupid had hit me in the ass with one of his damn arrows, I went to the delish Billy’s Bakery and purchased my guy some cupcakes. I was in a romantic comedy in my head.  Little did I know, the joke was on me. Right before we were supposed to meet, he calls. He informs me he can’t do this anymore. He likes me too much and is not ready to get attached… and that he can’t talk to me anymore. I am not very often speechless, but I was at a complete loss for words and all I managed to mutter before hanging up was, “OK.”  I am now sitting at my desk, teary eyed, and staring at these damn cupcakes. The cupcakes that now make me want to throw myself in front of a speeding cab. The only thought running through my head is, “NOBODY is ever going to want my cupcakes….NOBODY!!”

Well, all I have to say is thank god for good friends because good friends always want your cupcakes. So, I hopped in a cab and headed right over to WhyDidYouWearThat’s apartment where I proceeded to talk about my insanity while we ate every last crumb of the cupcakes. I mean, Who In Gay Hell would waste good cupcakes?

Now, the cupcake fiasco for me does not stop there. The Wednesday following Valentine’s Day, I am at work and a man walks in with a delivery for me from Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery….Cupcakes!! The card attached has no name, but simply says, “Miss You.” I am sent into a tailspin. I want to believe that “the guy” sent these cupcakes. I want to believe he realized he made a mistake and these are “I’m sorry” cupcakes.  Sooo, I call the bakery to ask who sent them (more Nancy Drew detective work), they tell me they are not at liberty to tell me who sent them. I beg. They still refuse.

As I pig out on the delish cupcakes, I ponder who else could’ve sent them. I want them to be from “him”, but what if they aren’t? Turns out… it wasn’t “him.” A boy did send the cupcakes, but it was not the boy  I wanted it to be. They were from another boy I went on a couple dates with months ago. A boy I had totally forgotten about. I mean what in gay hell are the chances that on Sunday I would buy cupcakes for someone who did not want them from me… and then three days later receive cupcakes from someone I did not want them from? Who knew that cupcakes could be so problematic?  Well, I can say last week I literally had my cupcakes and ate them too. Why In Gay Hell not?

xx,

WhyInGayHell

We’re Flipping Out!

As some of you may know, we’re getting fancy over here at WhyDid… Christmas either came really early or kinda late for us yesterday. We got ourselves a pretty pink Flip video camera. So you know what that means, right? MORE OF OUR PRETTY FACES!! I know! You’re welcome. Here’s a clip of WhyInGayHell and I testing it out. Just your typical Friday afternoon… (please pardon the mess and WIGH’s munching).

xx,
WhyDid

Boylesque? Why In Gay Hell Not?

***WhyDid Warning- Again, this post is a bit racy (let’s say NC-17). Most certainly not for the faint of heart or easily offended.

Sooo, as many of you know it’s Fashion Week here in NYC. I, myself, have been immersed in this craziness doing glam nails for some really amazing designers, but we will blog about that later. In the midst of this fashion whirlwind, I decided to take a much needed break for some fun times with two of the funnest (yes, I said “funnest”) people I know: WhyDidYouWearThat and Mr. Ryan Darius Nickulas. I had recently heard about this Boylesque Show from a great new website I found called The Showt. The Showt is a biweekly email newsletter that gives you the inside track on the best of the best in fashion, nightlife, dining, and culture that your city has to offer. Ryan Darius and I are kinda obsessed with The Showt because it gives the skinny on the newest of new before the HYPE takes over.

So anyway, I got together my Nancy Drew Private Detective Agents and ventured down to Uncle Charlie’s on the Lower East Side (87 Ludlow St. between Broome and Delancey) to investigate this Boylesque Show. Boylesque (if you couldn’t figure it out) is a weekly gay burlesque show that takes place on Saturdays from 11pm-4am.

When we first walked into Uncle Charlie’s, we were a little confused. It’s a long narrow bar that leads to a back room with a very tiny stage.We got there early, around 11pm and the show, itself, does not start til.12:30am. We wanted to ensure we had good seats and boy oh boy, did we. The host of Boylesque is a boy with a lot of personality and goes by the name “GoGo Harder.” GoGo was clad in a jockstrap and some striped knee high gym socks and a little bit of eyeliner. Why in Gay Hell wouldn’t he be?

I will say at first sight, we were a little disappointed. It wasn’t the grand stage we had expected, the crowd didn’t look that excited to be there, and the bar itself kinda smelled. We couldn’t decide if the smell was shit (from the bathroom) or simply the smell of failure. However, this turned out to be like finding a vintage Louis Vuitton bag in  a thrift store. The store at first glance doesn’t look like much, but you know there is a hidden gem buried somewhere inside. Boylesque is the  hidden gem, Uncle Charlie’s is the thrift store.

The show started and we began to understand why The Showt had recommended this as a place to check out. GoGo informed the crowd that the night’s theme was mermaids. I get excited for anything with a mystical creature theme.  The performers are true artists and really know how to put on a good show. The first performer that stole our breath and hearts  away was a boy named Christopher David Bousquet (he goes by Bizkitt). He is a circus trained contortionist. Christopher did two amaze performances: one with hula hoops, and the second was to one of my FAVE songs of all time “Part Of Your World” from The Little Mermaid (WhyDidYouWearThat and I sang along as he performed). Christopher can bend his body in ways I didn’t know were possible and can really work a hula hoop (two things I find incredibly admirable). The second performer who really stood out was Nicholas Gorham. Nicholas is a beautiful man who truly understands performance as art. Nicholas gave a performance that left us wanting more. He looked fierce as he kept a serious face (makeup flawlessly applied) and proceeded to remove his clothing in a way that would’ve made Dita Von Teese proud. Bravo, Nicholas!

The rest of the show was made up of a beautiful singing Mystical Creature in a sparkle hooded cloak, a boy in a dinosour costume, and to close the night with a bang, a man who goes by the name Machine who revealed his privates which were clad in a pink fishnet body stocking. It was really a great night and I will be back to Uncle Charlie’s soon to see these amazing Boylesque boys again! Why In Gay Hell wouldn’t I go back? It’s like Pinkberry, I want more. I truly think this is a show everyone (gay or straight) should experience at some point in their life. Sooo with that being said, who’s coming with me?

xx,

WhyInGayHell

Happy Valentine’s Day from the WhyDid Fam

Oh, it’s Valentine’s Day alright. Please don’t throw yourself from the nearest bridge. WE love you, after all. What else could you possibly need (other than a tall glass of wine)?  Would some funny commercials with women holding the Shake Weight help?

Don’t worry, we didn’t forget you guys.

Sending our love.

xx,

WhyDidYouWearThat, WhyInGayHell, WhyDon’tYouActLikeALady, WhyDon’tYouEatMe, VintageVixen

Why In Gay Hell Wouldn’t I LOVE Me?

So, there is a saying out there that we’ve all heard a million times. It goes something  like this, “How can you expect  anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself?” The past couple of months I have been on a scavenger hunt for LOVE. I have been dating, and been having disastrous results (check out my last trainwreck) . Along with searching for love, I have also been trying to find the adult in myself. I can say that trying to find both of these things at the same time could be what is making the dating thing hard. I am really focused on my career, learning to manage my money, and getting my credit in order. I have been beating myself up a lot lately, because at 27 years of age I should already KNOW how to do this stuff , right? With that being said, part of me is embarrassed at where I am in my life. I feel like a school project that you waited til the last minute to throw together. The popsicle sticks  and glitter are falling off and the glue is barely dry. It’s not ready to be presented, but you present it anyway. If you couldn’t follow that analogy, the point I am trying to make is I don’t think I am presentable right now. I don’t think I have a lot to offer someone else. That is, unless, you like a disaster and then I’m your guy. This thinking is NOgood.  The main thing I am trying to drive home is I don’t like TJ lately (sad violin plays in the background) soo Why In Gay Hell am I dating? Well, I will tell you why. I like the  attention and validation that I get from a date, especially a first date because at that point it’s based on just physical attraction. It makes me feel good to know that someone thinks I am pretty. It also makes me feel good to know I can score a date when inside I feel like a tragedy. Sooo what do I do about this? How do I learn to LOVE me so that I can be truly open to loving someone else and have them love me back?

Well, I will tell you where I have decided to start: my appearance. I mean, part of loving yourself is loving the way you look, right? Soo with Valentine’s Day fast approaching, and me being single, I have decided to treat MYSELF to some services that cater to my vanity.  Here is a list of services I KNOW always help me like the way I look a little bit more….

• Get my hair did. Color, Cut, Scalp Treatment:  I always feel great when leaving a salon and I think most people do. Suggestion for all girls in NYC- I work at the best salon in the West Village (and rated best new salon in AM New York), Ryan Darius Salon! I can guarantee if you come down and visit the fab Ryan Nickulas for your hair, you will def. leave loving yourself a LOT more.
• Get a Mani/Pedi: Now, I am a fingernail aficionado (I do nails at Ryan Darius Salon, for a few Celebs, Fashion Shoots/Shows and TV) sooI know what a good mani/pedi looks like. I also know how good a girl feels after getting beautiful nails. Let’s also remember getting your hands and feet rubbed, I mean who doesnt love that?
• Getting Skin Soft and Smooth:  I will be getting waxed and a facial. Eyebrows are important to me and when I look in the mirror, I see them so they need to look good. I mean, they are on my face. Also, in the waxing arena (and thank you to WhyDidYouWearThat) I will be getting a little waxing called the “Backdoor.” Being well groomed below the belt can def. step your confidence level up a notch. After leaving the wax room, I head over to get my skin glowing and to gain some mental peace and quiet during a facial.
• Workin On My Fitness:  I am recommitting to the gym. I want the body I talk about having (this body I talk about resembles Sean Farisjust so ya know) and that means dedication. It also is good to set a goal and accomplish it because proving to yourself that you can accomplish things is another great way to start loving yourself. It’s like running a marathon (I am assuming because I don’t run. Why in Gay Hell would I?) When you finally cross the finish line, you are filled with a feeling that is undeniably amazing because YOU DID IT!

Now, I know from experience that yes, I am going to LOVEmyself a lot more after I get myself glammed up, but I do want to talk briefly about loving the “you inside” and not just  the “you outside.” I’ve also heard somewhere that it’s what’s inside that counts. I think the best way to start loving the “you inside” is to start by saying to yourself right now, “I am where I’m supposed to be.” For me, this starts by not comparing my life to anyone else’s (i.e She’s married soo I should be married. She drives a better car than mine. She makes twice the salary I do, etc.).  My path is my path,no one else’s. I have to be happy where I am today or it’s going to be a pretty miserable journey.

Lately I have been making “Gratitude” and “Accomplishment” lists. I need to remind myself to be thankful for what I have in my life and I need to remind myself that I have done things I should be proud of. When you write it down on paper and look at it, it’s  a great feeling. It inspires me to keep pushing and taking the risks I need to. It’s also important to acknowledge your efforts.  Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you want, but if you can say you put effort into it, remember that counts. Always give yourself an “A+” in effort. Last, but not least,  trust yourself. Have confidence in your abilities. Know that you have the ability to make important changes for yourself as long as you put your heart in to it. A good relationship with yourself is like any other relationship you need TRUST to truly LOVE.

Now as far as Valentine’s Day, I am going to cut myself a break and I am not going to jump off the nearest bridge just because I am alone on the holiday of LOVE. Instead I am going to buy myself some of my fave flowers, (check out “Tough Love” to find out what flower that is), order a pizza from one of WhyDon’tYouEatMe’s suggestions, and have the best date with someone I am really happy to be getting to know….ME.

Happy V-day!

xx,

WhyInGayHell

Why In Gay Hell Would You Pay For That?

WhyInGayHell’s first “vlog” (video blog).  He’s even more amazing live.

xx,

WhyDid

It’s MY Party and…

Yes, it is my birthday (hope you got your shopping done early, folks).  I’ve even changed out of my typical grey/black uniform and am sporting a little hot pink number for this very occassion.  My fingers will soon be tired from opening all of my gifts, but my gift to you are some fun facts about WhyDid.

So while we nibble on cupcakes and dance on tables at Red Velvet enjoy these tasty tidbits about the lady behind the blog.

1. I can’t whistle. I’ve never mastered the skill and have made it thus far without it.
2. My favorite animal is a giraffe. Long legs, long necks, killer lashes, and they don’t bother anyone.
3. I’m slightly narcoleptic. I’ve fallen asleep in Vegas… twice. I can basically sleep anywhere.
4. I have a tattoo, but I won’t tell you where. (Sorry, Dad!!). It may or may not be the world’s smallest, btw.
5. I think it’s easier to kiss boys I don’t like than the ones I do.
6. I’ve been trying to learn French for the last year and a half (even though I took it in highschool and college) and plan on treating myself to a trip to Paris when I finally do.
7. My first “adult purchase” was a pair of black Christian Louboutin pumps.  I live around the corner and aspire to own a pair in every color.
8. I have a reverse birthmark on my neck. (Meaning it lacks pigment altogether and never ever gets tan).
9. I think my dog is really just a hairy little person and I tell him as much. I just wish he could talk back.
10. I got an “A” in Economics in college and nearly failed sewing.
11. I have a school girl crush on Joel McHale.
12. I’m totally superstitious. You won’t catch me walking under ladders or stepping on any cracks.
13. I love pineapple. I have eaten so much in one sitting that I couldn’t feel my tongue.
14. If I find something I like, I buy it in every color.
15. I love costumes and props and think that theme parties are highly underrated.
16. I buy myself flowers. Why bother waiting for someone else? (Though I appreciate when they do).
17. My nails are chipped 98% of the time. Thank goodness for TJ Kelly.
18. I can’t stand when people take themselves too seriously. No one is that cool, I promise. (Also a sure sign of insecurity).
19. Most of my favorite articles of clothing are from my mom’s archives.
20. My parents thought I was going to be an architect because I used to draw floor plans as a child.
21. I’m tone deaf and wish nothing more than to be able to carry a tune.
22. I hate violence. It scares the living daylights out of me. So don’t bother inviting me to a boxing match, hockey game, or violent movie. I won’t go.
23. I’m a complete and utter hopeless romantic and believe in fairytale endings.
24. I say my prayers at night and take my vitamins in the morning.
25. I have an amazing family and some of the best (not to mention beautiful) friends in the world and not one day goes by that I take them for granted. I’m a lucky girl.
26. I share my birthday with one of my best friends and at times believe we may have been separated at birth. (Happy Birthday, PinkyToe!)
27. There are very few things that annoy me more than leggings worn as pants.

Happy Birthday to me!

xx,

WhyDid