Why In Gay Hell Wouldn’t You Want My Cupcakes?


You may think cupcakes are all fun and games. I mean, what kind of harm could a cupcake do (besides add a few vanity pounds)? Well, let me tell you how a box of cupcakes nearly ruined my life.

I, like most girls, sometimes get ahead of myself when it comes to relationships. I mean, on a first date I already know what our wedding looks like, the house we will live in, and our childrens’ names (yes, names vary on the guy). I know I just recently wrote a blog about learning to love myself and yes, we are still on that journey… but, I can date, right? ……WRONG

Well, not so long ago I started talking to a guy and when we first started talking it was just as friends. The nice thing about this was there were no labels put on it. It was just two people talking, getting to know one another, enjoying each other. You get my drift. I am a lunatic though and after the first week,  my heart started racing and I grew emotionally attached. I was very honest with how UNREALISTIC these feelings of “love” were and I expressed this to WhyDidYouWearThat quite often. I also knew in my heart, the timing was wrong for this (something else discussed in length with WDYWT).  I knew it wouldn’t be long til I was like an REO Speedwagon song saying, “I cant Fight This Feeling Anymore.”

Sooo we kept it light for as long as we could, but the attraction and the chemistry was undeniable. The Friday before Valentine’s Day we had dinner and it was a great night except towards the end of dinner the conversation fell on the topic of US. What are we? What are we doing?  Where do we want to go with this? The conversation seemed to go well and we decided to keep things simple and just continue to get to know each other. Before we said, “goodnight” for the evening I asked him to go to the movies with me on Sunday. Yes, Valentine’s Day. He accepted and my heart rejoiced.  I rode away on my unicorn with a smile on my face.

Valentine’s Day comes along. I go and purchase a card for him with the help of WDYWT.  It was perfect.  It said “Congrats, you’re my Valentine.” And because Cupid had hit me in the ass with one of his damn arrows, I went to the delish Billy’s Bakery and purchased my guy some cupcakes. I was in a romantic comedy in my head.  Little did I know, the joke was on me. Right before we were supposed to meet, he calls. He informs me he can’t do this anymore. He likes me too much and is not ready to get attached… and that he can’t talk to me anymore. I am not very often speechless, but I was at a complete loss for words and all I managed to mutter before hanging up was, “OK.”  I am now sitting at my desk, teary eyed, and staring at these damn cupcakes. The cupcakes that now make me want to throw myself in front of a speeding cab. The only thought running through my head is, “NOBODY is ever going to want my cupcakes….NOBODY!!”

Well, all I have to say is thank god for good friends because good friends always want your cupcakes. So, I hopped in a cab and headed right over to WhyDidYouWearThat‘s apartment where I proceeded to talk about my insanity while we ate every last crumb of the cupcakes. I mean, Who In Gay Hell would waste good cupcakes?

Now, the cupcake fiasco for me does not stop there. The Wednesday following Valentine’s Day, I am at work and a man walks in with a delivery for me from Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery….Cupcakes!! The card attached has no name, but simply says, “Miss You.” I am sent into a tailspin. I want to believe that “the guy” sent these cupcakes. I want to believe he realized he made a mistake and these are “I’m sorry” cupcakes.  Sooo, I call the bakery to ask who sent them (more Nancy Drew detective work), they tell me they are not at liberty to tell me who sent them. I beg. They still refuse.

As I pig out on the delish cupcakes, I ponder who else could’ve sent them. I want them to be from “him”, but what if they aren’t? Turns out… it wasn’t “him.” A boy did send the cupcakes, but it was not the boy  I wanted it to be. They were from another boy I went on a couple dates with months ago. A boy I had totally forgotten about. I mean what in gay hell are the chances that on Sunday I would buy cupcakes for someone who did not want them from me… and then three days later receive cupcakes from someone I did not want them from? Who knew that cupcakes could be so problematic?  Well, I can say last week I literally had my cupcakes and ate them too. Why In Gay Hell not?




15 Comments on Why In Gay Hell Wouldn’t You Want My Cupcakes?

  1. Comrade23
    February 23, 2010 at 8:10 am (6 years ago)

    I have a theory that gay hell is just like regular hell but with more closet space.

  2. A
    February 23, 2010 at 11:00 am (6 years ago)

    I think you should think of it like this- everyone wants a bite of your cupcake (who wouldn’t) but life’s challenge is to find the one person who is WORTHY of not only eating the whole damn thing but cleaning up after too :)

  3. Gabby
    February 23, 2010 at 11:40 am (6 years ago)

    I love it… and I think a lot of people can relate to the falling in love HARD and forgetting to love themselves first ♥

  4. Mahk G
    February 23, 2010 at 12:31 pm (6 years ago)

    shoulda made some poo cupcakes and had those delivered as a parting gift. just sayin’

  5. Lauren
    February 23, 2010 at 9:03 pm (6 years ago)

    I love your stories and your way with words.
    My Vday was ruined too! And i spent all that time in the salon for nothing! And a brazilian wax!
    How is your wax btw?

  6. Sissy
    February 24, 2010 at 10:19 am (6 years ago)

    LOVE IT and LOVE U!!! Thats exactly why I always work on valentines day….Maybe next year u should try that! :)

  7. PrimoN
    February 24, 2010 at 1:53 pm (6 years ago)

    werk! I love your stories!

  8. PrimoN
    February 24, 2010 at 1:55 pm (6 years ago)

    I ♥ TJ’s stories!

  9. Broken/Broke
    February 25, 2010 at 3:15 am (6 years ago)

    Well thats NOTHIN my gf broke up with me on v-day i had roses candles i bought the movie notebook i made dinner *roasted turkey with glazed veggies and homemade beets* i had clasicalmusic set for dinner and i bought a nice black button up with a tie… all of this costed me 300$+ after the night was over canldes were lit we were cudling on the couch andshe said i cant date you anymore your way too obsesive… like a week ago she was telling me how shedreamed of the perfect v-day candles anice movie super… like wtf she really thinks i wanted to spend 300$ for fun like the idea for all that came out of now where

  10. sworlz
    February 26, 2010 at 10:59 am (6 years ago)

    why in gay hell didn’t you tell him that you like him too?

  11. KatDogg
    February 27, 2010 at 1:07 pm (6 years ago)

    I admit this is the first time I’ve read your blog, I’m very very impressed, your way with words is compelling much like the real you! In response though, usually that is how the cupcake crumbles in this silly game we call life. You can’t get what you want and you don’t want what you got, but like you said, at least there are those friends you can rely on to be there for when you gota cry over your cupcakes. That is certainly better than secluding yourself in bathrooms gorging sweet treats that ruin your pearly whites!

  12. Boris Stalls
    May 24, 2012 at 12:31 pm (3 years ago)

    How do i extend the range on the Wireless N router? Weve an Xtreme N instant router (Dlink). I should extend the reach belonging to the wireless signal. I learn how to do it for a new G signal. I want to find out how to do it for an N transmission. Is it possible to use regular N routers while repeaters. If so, how to configure them. Thanks for any information.

3Pingbacks & Trackbacks on Why In Gay Hell Wouldn’t You Want My Cupcakes?

  1. […] “smell” and only liked boys that smelled like soap 24/7. For real? Then of course there was the cupcake man. So after all these trail and tribulations, I have been on a vacation from the dating scene. That […]

  2. […] lube with someone else! Some of you may remember my tale about Mr CupCake, some of you might not. If you dont remember please READ THIS before continuing. I need to say Mr CupCake really sent me into a tailspin. I really liked him a lot and as I stated […]

  3. […] where to buy them, we know where to go to have them double as a cocktail, and we absolutely know what to do with them if they become a gift gone horribly wrong…eat them. Now, I have to do my part and help you decorate these delicious […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>