The List Volume XVIII

First and foremost, I’m going to have to start consulting a book on Greek numerals because the lists just keep on coming. Secondly, I’m going to reel in my temper right now, seeing as the twatards of the universe have been taking out their angst on me. And here we go…

1. People who talk on their cell phones while inside the bathroom stall. This is awkward on so many levels that I don’t even know where to begin.
2. People who overuse “I miss you.” Really? Do you miss me? I just saw you like two days ago.
3. Running to the elevator like it’s the last puffy cloud to heaven. Another elevator will come, this I promise you. There is no need to risk appendages in order to stop the doors from closing.
4. Quick lesson in the language we call “English”: you + are = you’re. your = possessive pronoun
5. While on topic… “two” is a number, “too” means also, “to” is a preposition/infinitive.
6. You have a face for radio. Stay there.
7. Ordering a Big Mac and fries and a Diet Coke. I mean, go big or go home.
8. Girls who can’t get over their ex’s. Plenty of fish in the sea, my dear.
9. People who actually think “celebrities” on Twitter care what they tweet to them. (BTW- radio personalities other than Ryan Seacrest are not “celebrities”).
10. Banana chips.

And that’s all folks. So happy this is a loooong weekend!

xx,

WhyDid

The List XVII

I mean, I’m about to start listing people by first name… But alas, I will save you the embarrassment.

1. Turtlenecks in summer. I don’t care if it doesn’t have sleeves or is a dress.
2. Girls with shitty hair who insist on growing it out. Know your role.
3. While on the subject, not everyone is meant to be blonde. (This goes double for those of you not genetically predisposed).
4. “Sunday Funday.” This couldn’t be more overused. It’s Sunday… guess what that means… Tomorrow’s Monday and everyone knows that’s not very fun.
5. Shit talkers. How’s your breath? No, seriously. How is it?
6. Guys who think the waitress wants to F&*#. She just wants a tip… and not the tip of your …
7. Waitresses who whore themselves out to guys drinking beer. They are not big spenders and I need a refill. Thanks.
8. Co-workers who throw out your lunch. Looks like I need my own Fridge Locker.
9. People who re-Tweet celebrities, verified accounts, horoscopes, and quotes. We get it, they said EXACTLY what you were thinking. Chances are we’re all following them too, so we don’t need you to re-Tweet their shit. Thanks.
10. YOU.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XVI

And the lists just keep on coming…

1. Apartments with windows looking directly into other people’s windows. No sir, I do not want to see your naked bod.
2. Overpaid frauds. Wait, what? How did you get this job?
3. Announcing you’re location via Facebook. If you have to tell us you’re “at Soho House” I’m likely to believe you don’t get to go there often. This is Facebook, not Foursquare.
4. The city of Vernon, CA.
5. Oversharing. Don’t forget, “Less is more.”
6. Tattletales.
7. Shoes that are too big. You look like a little girl dressing up in mom’s clothes.
8. Glamour’s 20 Sexiest Men. Um, who are these people in the top 5?
9. Rachel Zoe.
10. Time differences.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XV

Another week, another list. Let’s go.

1. People who put “haha” after their own jokes. If you have to laugh at your own joke, you already know it’s not funny.
2. White people using “holla.” The only type of “holla” we know about should be “challah French toast.”
3. Boys over the age of 22 with roommates.
4. Ex’s.
5. Day old sushi.
6. Search helicopters in my backyard. I’m trying to sleep, thanks. Wasn’t looking to be on an episode of COPS tonight.
7. Jennifer Anniston. How is it possible that she’s still making headlines? Hasn’t been in a good movie in ages and last time I checked, she and Brad were no longer together.
8. Buffets.
9. The Teen Choice Awards. I mean, there’s a reason you have to be 18 to vote. You guys clearly have no taste in movies… ahem, Valentine’s Day.
10. Sunglasses clipped to your shirt at night. It’s dark out. I thought we talked about this. Sigh.

Have a great weekend.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XIV

I can’t lie, I actually forgot today was Friday and time for “the list.” That’s because I’ve been living in a love filled bubble complete with furry white cats and dogs. Take a sigh of relief, I still have plenty of things to compile into this week’s list.

1. Um, Lindsay Lohan’s “jail sentence.” She’s like my dog. Never gets in trouble. Sigh.
2. Life in a Bikini. WTF is this? I see billboards for it everywhere. At first glance I liked the name of it, cause you know how I feel about bikinis, but upon further investigation, it sounds like a bowl of crock.
3. Malls.
4. Kitten heels. And just ugly heels in general. Five inches or bust, ladies.
5. Sun umbrellas. Sumbrellas. I believe they were parasols at some point in time.
6. People who can’t take a hint. What must I do to make things clear?
7. Leggings in disguise. While, having a built in crotch cover is clever… you’re still not fooling anyone.
8. The Jersey Shore. I can’t believe we are paying these people’s salaries.
9. Fish oil burps.
10. The Real Housewives of DC. Might be the worst cast yet!!

See, even when WhyDid’s wearing her rose colored glasses, she still sees the ugly and annoying.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XIII

Another week, another list. World, you never cease to amaze me!

1. Tents on the beach. I mean, what are you doing? Camping or tanning?
2. Speaking of the beach- people who walk too close to our towel and kick sand all over you. Appreciate that.
3. Fake glasses. You don’t even need glasses.
4. Sideways hats. You are not Marky Mark and this is not the Funky Bunch.
5. Copycats. I know, I know. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, blah, blah. But sometimes it’s just really f#%*@ing annoying.
6. Letterman jackets.
7. Naysayers. I say it’s black and no matter what, you’ll say it’s white. It is not constantly opposite day. Cut it out.
8. Payphones. Seriously, who the eff can you call for a quarter?
9. Dr. Phil. How do you still have a show? Don’t you have your own problems to solve?
10. The Jersey Shore cast ringing the NYSE opening bell. Our country is officially a joke.

Have a wonderful weekend.

xx,

WhyDid

The List XI

1. The Hills finale. Um, wait, what?
2. Teen Moms- why is there a show about this?
3. Bubble hems. Please cease to exist. Thanks.
4. French pedicures. #%&*!!?!! Who is still getting these? Better yet, who ever did?
5. People on the back of the plane who jump up immediately upon landing. Sit down, you’re gonna be here a while.
6. Geisha House.
7. Bromance. You’re two stops short of Gayville and one stop short of bi.
8. Shape Ups. The lazy person’s “workout.” (Especially when worn to the gym).
9. Coffee mugs that are too #%#^ing big to hold.
10. iPhone4.

Finally where I should be. Have a good weekend.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume X

Where, oh, where does the time go? Seems like I was just detailing the things that make my blood boil and skin crawl… yet, here we are again.

1. Dropping red nail polish in your bathroom, shattering it, and “re-decorating” in the process.
2. People who talk on their cell phones at the gym. I mean, I text but that’s tooootally different… right?
3. Re-runs.
4. Harem pants. Give it up, already.
5. Back fat. (And apparently I’m not alone in this). 
6. Humidity. Heat is one thing, but now  you’re messing with my hair. We have problems.
7. Pigeons. In all contexts.
8. Cleaned out my closet the other day… Look who I found hiding in there:
9. Have we forgotten about that pesky lil’ oil spill thingy?
10. Lebron James… really?

Until next time…

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume IX

This list should be twenty rather than ten seeing as I went MIA last week. However, I have decided to keep it short and to the point. (You’re welcome).

1. Dressing room floors. Band-aids and stray hairs galore. I can’t.
2. Lady Gaga. I’ve had about enough of her for a little while.
3. These:Now you’re just abusing the right to dress. (Thanks to Ryan Nickulas for sending along this little sweet treat).
4. Screaming children on five hour flights. Control your offspring. Thanks.
5. Taking your shoes off at airport security. There’s gotta be another way.
6. And these:Yep, an entire wall of “jean” leggings. I believe they are calling these “jeggings.”
7. Dreadlocks on white people. I’m talking to you, Crystal Bowersox.
8. People who don’t refill the Brita/Pur/whichever pitcher. I’m thirsty too, jackass.
9. Morning breath.
10. Promoter text messages. I’m damn near forty. Please stop. I can’t sit through a din with 19 year old models anymore.

Until next week… Happy Fourth.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume VIII

Seeing as I had a mini meltdown only about a week ago, I thought I’d switch things up and make a list of things that make me smile rather than scream. Yeah, in your face.

1. Puppies in pet store windows. I have my own, but looking never gets old. (Sound familiar, fellas?)
2. Marshmallows.
3. Cartoons- but only cartoons of me (obvsies).
4. Flowers in NY. It’s like an unexpected kiss on the forehead.
5. This guy:(www.jasonscat.com)
6. Pedicures. No idea what you’re snickering to your friend about, but don’t stop doing what you’re doing.
7. Carousels.  Bet you didn’t know there’s a full timer over at Chelsea Piers, did you?
8. Having an extra swipe left on your Metro card when you’re in a hurry.
9. Waking up with “props” and other collected items in your purse.
10. Leaving the city you love even just for a little.

Wow, that was painful. No worries, the regular “list” will be back next week.

xx,

WhyDid