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Why Did You Wear That: All Aboard The Ugly Express. Choo! Choo!

By |February 18th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

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Dear Juicy Track Suit Wearer,

2001 called, they’d like their velour leisure suit back.

xx,

All of us

Seriously, if I see one more chick in the airport… or just in general… wearing a “track suit” as appropriate casual wear, I’m gonna flip. Like Carrie Underwood I just found out my man’s cheating kind of flip. I understand that we all want to be comfy when traveling (especially since not all of us are flying first class and sometimes get stuck in a middle seat sandwiched between two big’uns). Being comfortable does NOT mean that you need to look like you crawled out of a Pound Puppy factory.  Your warm and fuzzy jumpsuit isn’t giving anyone besides you the “warm and fuzzies.” And besides, do you really want the word “Juicy” written across your ass? Nothing about that sounds flattering.

Exhibits A, B, C, and D:

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51K2BD361QL__AA280_Eva Longoria

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Catching my drift? Remember when Paris Hilton used to live in these things? Do you want to have anything in common with P. Hil (besides her checking account)? Didn’t think so. So, to avoid any second hand embarrassment on my part, let’s get you into something comfortable AND stylish.

Now is one of those times where leggings (not worn as pants) might come in handy.  Layer some leggings with a long tunic and/or yummy cashmere sweater (it gets chilly on those planes). Put on some flat boots (They don’t have to be flat, mind you, I’m just going for comfort. Bravo to you if you want to wear heels) and you’re good to go. Here’s a visual:

 richie

(sans lace gloves, obvi. Chanel bag optional).

A few more options if this is still not clear for you:

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She’s even making “jeggings” look cool.

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The trick is layering. It gives you versatility and you can take on or off depending on temperature and comfort. This is an extreme example, but you get the point (I hope).

I’m about to make this REALLY easy for you…

travel outfit

So Low Long Leggings, $51, Nightcap Clothing Cashmere Poncho Scarf Sweater, $532, Wilt Hi Lo Tank, $86, Ash Pearl Over the Knee Boots, $323.40, Alexander Wang Daphne duffel bag, $623, Carrera Champion Sunglasses, $120

All available at shopbop.com

Bon voyage!

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: A Sign of the Times

By |February 11th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

Voodoo Dolls - LargeOh, I’m sorry, does someone have a voodoo doll with my name on it?  I mean, I’m just wondering since I recently discovered the world’s worst invention- EVER.  Obviously, someone just wants to make me suffer from severe fits of anxiety.  Basically, if leggings as pants and True Religions got together and had a baby it would be this:

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Oh, you think I’m kidding? I wish:

Are you f’ing kidding me??  It’s the spawn of satan.  Are you SO lazy that you actually need your jeans and your pajamas to be one in the same?  Do you mean to tell me that you didn’t even bother to shower after rolling out of bed this morning? I mean, what’s the point? You’re obviously already dressed! To me, this is a sign of how lazy and impatient our society has become.  What happened to taking pride in our appearance? This is just encouraging people to continue stuffing their faces (these puppies stretch, after all) and not care how the rest of the world perceives them. Remember this lady?

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No? How about her?

Audrey-Hepburn-wcute-dogThey are rolling over somewhere in their graves. No proper lady would ever wear synthetic fake jeans to sleep in and then wear them out in public.  So why would you? Just saying…

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: Don’t Fret, My Pets.

By |April 23rd, 2009|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

Oh, my loves. I didn’t forget about you yesterday. However, I apparently booked a one way ticket to Planet Suck and had no time to post any of my witty and brilliant banter for you to read while pretending to be productive at work.  No worries, I worked it out with my travel agent and am back to the real world.

Anyhow, because you may have felt neglected yesterday, here is a little mindless fodder for you.

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Here’s a photo of Lindsay Lohan launching her legging line (6126) at Henri Bendel earlier this year.  Her hair looks like a throwback to Splash while her “leggings” look like she ran into Edward Scissor Hands on her way to the event.  Fun fact: did you know that Lindsay’s legging line has a pair called “Mr. President” with quilted knee pads? Classy. (more…)

Why Did You Wear That: Just When I Thought It Couldn’t Get Any Worse

By |March 17th, 2009|Somethin for the fellas, Why Did You Wear That?|

Dear sweet lord…. tell me this isn’t happening.

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Has my worst nightmare just multiplied by a billion? Men…in…leggings?  This has got to be some sort of sick joke the fashion world is playing, right?  My friend sent me a link this morning that has confirmed my biggest fears.  Apparently, several designers sent men in leggings down the runways.  Weren’t skinny jeans enough for you?  I mean, that was pushing it, but leggings???

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Men of the world, I beg of you, please do not fall victim to this trend.  There is nothing sexy about this.  Chicks will not dig this.  You will not appear fashion forward or trendy.  Let women worry about panty lines and no pockets.  There are some things men and women just should not share.  Leggings happen to be one of them.

xx,

WhyDid

10 Things I Dislike ALMOST As Much As Leggings Worn As pants

By |February 12th, 2009|The List|

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I think it’s pretty clear how I feel about leggings worn as pants, but there are more things in the world that disturb me nearly as much.  Here’s the top ten:

  1. True Religion jeans. No need to explain again.
  2. Rude men.  I don’t like rude people in general, but a rude man is the worst.  What happened to being a gentleman?
  3. Blowing your nose in public.  There is a girl who sits near my desk at work and she has been blowing her nose continuously for the past two weeks. It’s taken everything in me not to just spazz out, especially when she ate tuna fish for lunch the other day.
  4. Know it alls.  You don’t know everything. Shut up.
  5. Dried apples. Had a bad experience as a five year old. Have never quite recovered.
  6. Logo handbags/clothing/etc.  It’s so passe, especially during a recession.  We get it, you have a Fendi bag.I won’t lie, I own a Louis Vuitton bag, but I couldn’t tell you the last time I carried it.  I try not to be a walking advertisement. I prefer the understated.  *Note: this rule goes out the window if your logo bag happens to be awesome and vintage.  That’s the only time it’s cool.
  7. Liars.  Maybe it is because I have the guiltiest conscience in the world and probably couldn’t tell a lie to save my life, but I really have a hard time understanding why people lie.  The truth hurts, but it also sets you free.
  8. Fake tans, fake nails, fake hair.  Gross, gross, grossest.  By fake tan, I do mean tanning beds.  I also mean poorly done self tanners.  Cancer and wrinkles aren’t sexy and neither is looking like a tangerine.  I don’t even know where to begin with fake nails and as far as fake hair, do you want to look like you have the same hairdresser as a Barbie doll?
  9. Catty, bitchy, jealous girls and cougars.  I have no time for petty girls/women who lack self confidence.  Please do not take out your insecurities on women who clearly have it going on.  Not our fault you don’t feel good about yourself.  Get a hobby.  That’s a good place to start.
  10. Pilling sweaters.  I hate those little nerd balls.  They never go away, do they?

So there you have it.  Things that ruffle my feathers almost as much as wearing leggings as pants (I’m sure I’ll think of more).  I realize I have just made myself incredibly vulnerable to people coming up to me and blowing their noses while wearing True Religions, but feels good to vent.  Send in some of your very least favorite things.

xx,

WhyDid