They say the way you spend New Year’s day foreshadows how you will spend the rest of the upcoming year. Probably not promising for a lot of you who woke up missing articles of clothing, unable to identify your bedside companion, sans cab fare for the journey home, and with a headache equivalent to the explosion of the Hindenburg. As for me, if today is any indication, I’m all set. Being handed a mimosa upon parting my eyelids, walking outside outfitted in a crop top, and spending the rest of the afternoon alternating between drinking rosé and napping is something I could get used to. Certainly an improvement over the last twelve months. 2013 was a hot ass mess… or maybe that was just me. I basically spent this past year dating completely inappropriate individuals, staying up too late, not working hard enough, and writing it all down. There are plenty of personal bad habits that I wish to lay to rest along with 2013. That said, here’s a countdown of some other things from 2013 that I certainly won’t be crying crocodile tears about kissing goodbye.
- No, I don’t want to play Candy Crush.
- Trainwrecks. I mean, obviously literal ones, but really figurative ones a la Amanda Bynes, Lilo, and most of my ex-boyfriends. Can we please stop encouraging bad behavior?
- Parody t-shirts. You know: Féline, Homies, Commes des Fuckdown, and the likes.
- Anything with a peplum.
- “Keep Calm” and STFU. Please stop making these. Along with most some e-cards, and definitely those comic strip things.
- The word/action of twerking. Also, all mentioning of molly.
- “DJ” as a fallback career. When did grasping the general concept of Spotify equate to a paid occupation?
- Awl dese cray wayz of mizspelling thangz n stuph. Idk. Itz nawt kewl, bb, k? Werq.
- The exploitation of unicorns.
- Miley Cyrus’s tongue. (Though her explanation to Babs was somewhat endearing). Let the record show- I’m a Miley fan.
- Leggings as pants. Seriously.
Peace out, ’13. I’d be lying if I said I’ll miss ya. xx, WhyDid image via
I was once quoted as saying my ideal outfit is “feminine but tough. (Like a pretty girl on a Harley)…” For me, it’s awfully difficult to look anything but all American. Long blonde hair and fairly classic features make it pretty easy for me to be lumped in with your average white chick. There are times when I don’t feel as if my insides match my outsides. I remember the first time I sat down in my hairstylist’s chair. She’s a super cool girl from Brooklyn and I could just tell by the barely noticeable eye roll that she had pegged me as just another girl from the West Side by merely taking in my fresh face, designer bag, and simple tank dress. After speaking with her for fifteen minutes, her initial impression of me was completely forgotten and I won’t let anyone else touch my hair with his or her scissors.
I like to take something classic and turn it into something unexpected by giving it some edge or “dumbing it down.” Anything too obvious makes me uncomfortable. Predictable scares me and boring is the end of my existence. If it’s too pretty, I add something ugly. I used to always wear my glasses with anything bodycon… until that became an ironic trend. Now I just deal with my less than perfect vision by forgoing my spectacles. Even the prettiest of cocktail dresses can morph like a chameleon by swapping out strappy sandals for rugged boots, fussy hair for wild strands, tasteful jewels for “in your face” bling. A little black dress that I thought would only come in handy for last minute cocktail party invites has fast become a closet staple.
dress: Nightcap Clothing (long sleeve version), necklace: vintage (similar), bracelet: vintage necklace (similar), boots: Frye, bag: Expressions NYC (similar)
Despite the clumps of half melted snow on the sidewalk and being pelted by sleety raindrops the moment you step foot outside your door, “spring” is only a day away. Typically, this would signal oncoming warm weather and the switch from snow boots to skimmers. However, by the looks of things, we’ve got a little while longer to spend in the gym sweating to the oldies before shedding the layers and revealing our soft summer skin. (Punksatony, we’re reviewing your contract right now). So instead of drowning our sorrows in baked mac n’ cheese, let’s take advantage of the opportunity to shed a couple of those extra LB’s we packed on during winter hibernation because those are not the “lumps” they were talking about when they said lovely lady lumps.
While I do have a very difficult time spending ninety dollars on a pair of pants I’m simply going to sweat in, you also don’t have to look like a tool on the treadmill. Fortunately, workout wear has taken a turn towards stylish. Take a cue from these on trend gym approved styles and feel the burn. Just remember, your workout clothes are not street clothes. Lulu leggings are still leggings, so please don’t sit down at brunch post downward dog next to me. I don’t want cameltoe with my croissant.
1. Unit-Y Pirouette Bra, $20, 2. C9 by Champion Seamless Cami Bra, $16.99, 3. Lole Bra, $50, 4. Sweaty Bands Floral Frenzy Head Wrap, $15, 5. GapFit Breathe Striped Racer Tank, $19.95, 6. adidas by Stella McCartney Run Performance Tank, $90, 7. Asics Hydrology T-Back Running Tank, $35.99, 8. Nike Stanton Hoodie, $90, 9. C9 by Champion Athletic Shorts, $16.99, 10. Asics Gel Noosa Tri 8 Sneakers, $130, 11. Nike Free TR 3 Print Running Shoe, $99.99, 12. GapFit gFast Lightweight Printed Leggings, $54.95, 13. Nike Legend 2.0 Dip Dye Capris, $65, 14. Lug Life Puddle Jumper Bag, $96, 15. ToeSox Toeless Yoga/Pilates Socks, $14.99
Hop to it.
Here’s one for ya: I’ve never been skiing… or snowboarding. Ever. I am, however, pretty sweet on a pair of ice skates. But apparently winter sports are a “thing.” Physical exertion in below freezing temperatures with the risk of bodily injury seems to get some people’s adrenaline going. I’m not here to judge, but if you’re looking for me, it won’t be on the bunny slopes. Instead you’ll find me in the lodge sipping a hot toddy getting a foot rub from that cute ski instructor, Steve. Perhaps that’s why some folks put themselves through all of the swooshing and sliding down the side of a mountain: for the afterparty. We all know afterparties are where it’s at. Why else do you think they came up with the name, “apres ski?” And while I’ve already cut to the chase and am three hot chocolates in, you’re going to need to slip into something cozy chic for your fireside recovery. The look is cabin casual.
Eugenia Kim Wool and Cashmere Beanie, $185, Zoe Karssen Fun Sweatshirt, $95, Plush Fair Isle Trim Leggings, $75, Sorel Tofino Waterproof Boots, $150
To be clear, leggings are still not pants. Not even on the side of a mountain.
I had to double check that the Super Bowl had not, in fact, already happened. (It will happen on February 3rd- I Googled it). That said, my pun stands. Anyway, in the cold winter months, dressing can become a bit of a bore. How many different ways can we wear jeans? And since some of you can’t get it through your pretty little skulls that leggings are not pants, I have come up with yet another option for comfort without sacrificing style. The maxi dress is often associated with balmy summer nights and backyard barbecues, but I have found the knit long sleeve, slinky maxi dress to be one of my new favorite winter time staples. There are endless ways to style this look be it a fur (faux) vest over top, layered in gauzy scarves, with flat motorcycle boots or sky high ankle booties. The maxi dress is as versatile as it is comfortable.
1. Holy Tee Abbey Lee Mesh and Jersey Maxi Dress, $108, 2. Mason by Michelle Mason Long Sleeve Cutout Maxi, $177.10, 3. Thakoon Addition Carbon Copy Long Dress, $170, 4. Silence & Noise Stella Knit Maxi Dress, $69, 5. Sparkle & Fade Cowl Back Maxi Dress, $59, 6. James Perse Wrap Shoulder Dress, $245, 7. Maison Martin Margiela Knitted Silk Maxi Dress, $398, 8. Pencey Standard Long Layer Dress, $84, 9. Blue Life Pucci Maxi Dress, $165, 10. Sparkle & Fade Scoopback Long Sleeved Maxi Dress, $49
Now play ball, or whatever.