Kris Humphries | WhyDid.com

WhyDid Wisdom: Happily Ever After (Or at least for the next 72 days)

By Kirsten|October 31st, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

This week’s WhyDid Wisdom is brought to you by the letters, D, U, and H.

So, I don’t like to talk about Kim or the rest of the Kardashian Klan because, well, they drive me KRAZY. However, the events today leave me with no other choice. While I saw Kim and Kris (Humphries)’s divorce coming a mile away, as I scrolled through Facebook and Twitter, it seems that some of you knuckleheads are not only surprised, but also upset. Let me guess, you are the same folks who actually thought this three ring circus and 18 different spin off shows were “real.” You were really “rooting” for Kim and Kris, huh? Well, newsflash, nothing on any of the Kardashian brand “reality” shows is real. It’s poorly scripted TV. They are not the Cosby’s and that is not real life.

Luckily, some of you seem to be (finally) getting the wake up call. One such status update from someone said, “I bet this whole wedding was a PR stunt.” Oh, wow, somebody call MENSA. We’ve got a live one. I’m not trying to be condescending, but come on guys, you didn’t really think this was anything more than an opportunity to trick you, advertisers, and sponsors out of time and money, did you? Oh… you did. That’s so sweet. Well, sugar, face the facts. You got played.

But don’t feel bad because you know what? I’m not just annoyed with the American public. This is a lesson for brands out there everywhere (cough, Vera). Come on, you should have known better. Affiliating yourself with something like this is not good for business. Did you really need to sell out for something as cheap, tawdry, and contrived as a reality TV wedding? Have some standards.

Sure, some say Kim is a “good businesswoman” but some could also say the same about Bernie Madoff. Just because they figured out how to make money, doesn’t mean they did it the right way or with even an ounce of integrity.

Here’s the deal. It’s okay to be pissed off about this, but not because you’re sad that there isn’t going to be another Kim and Kris Making Babies spin off. It’s okay to be pissed that this family exploited the sacred vows of marriage to make a quick (eighteen million) bucks. It’s okay to be pissed that NONE of that money was given to charity. It’s okay to be pissed that our gay and lesbian friends aren’t even allowed to get married in this country. It’s okay to be pissed that they had the audacity to have a wedding registry. And it’s most certainly okay to be pissed that such a gauche display of wealth was televised and consumed by so many when there are families in our very own backyards who don’t have enough to pay for groceries this month.

But don’t you dare be pissed and then even think about picking up the remote to watch yet another vapid brain melting morally corrupt episode of “Blah Blah Insert Kardashian Name Here.” Because if this didn’t teach you a lesson, then you’re just as much to blame for it as Kim. Without you (and that pesky sex tape), she’d be nothing but a girl selling clothes in the Valley (good one, Kris).

xx,

WhyDid

Photo via The New York Observer

Why Did You Wear That: The Bride Wore White

By Kirsten|August 20th, 2011|Why Did You Wear That?|

It should be clear by now that I’m not a huge fan of Kim Kardashian. �I am, however, a huge fan of Vera Wang. �In case you’ve been living under a rock (or you happen to spend your time bettering your mind by reading books rather than watching E! News), you are well aware that Kim will be donning Vera for her big day. �You would also know that a custom Vera Wang gown would set you back at least a cool $10K. �Luckily, when your wedding budget is a mere $29 million, ten grand is nothing!

But for the rest of us, a ten thousand dollar dress might hurt our wallets. �No need to worry though. �Earlier this year, Vera Wang partnered with David’s Bridal to create a more affordable option for blushing brides everywhere. �White by Vera Wang ranges from $600-$1400 and looks like it could sit on the rack right next to her luxury bridal line. �So, if you’re in the market for a beautiful bridal gown, or you just like to look, check out White by Vera Wang for David’s Bridal:

Congrats to the newlyweds.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume L

By Kirsten|August 12th, 2011|The List|

Remember the monthly gift that doesn’t suck? Well this week’s list is more like the one that does suck. Sure there are plenty of perks to being a girl, but that certainly is not one of them.

People who use ten dollar words but probably have no idea what they mean.
Kris Humphries. Is he for real?
Guys who wear winter hats at the beach. I’m confused. You must be too.
Our government. Can we just press “refresh” and start over? Cause I’m fairly certain no one knows what they’re doing.
Un-manicured palm trees. And on a side note- I know palm trees are “symbolic” of California, but there’s only one type that’s indigenous. The rest are all “decorative.”
People who think they “discovered” someone. Just stop it. You did not discover Bruno Mars. Next thing you know you’ll be telling me you discovered Abraham Lincoln too.
Shin splints.
Dianna Agron’s new ‘do. I keep waiting to hear, “for her upcoming role in…”
Planking. Are we done with this yet?
The person who stole our hose. First of all, who steals a hose? Secondly, I hope you are at least putting it to good use- like a slip n’ slide.

xx,

WhyDid

Monday Mash Up: Ex Factor

By Kirsten|June 27th, 2011|Monday Mashup, Why Did You Date Him?|

It’s true, most people have a “type” which might consist of words like “tall”, “blonde”, or “athletic” but it’s very rare that someone has a type so terribly specific that it seems as though he’s dating twins. Well, let’s give Reggie Bush a warm round of applause because he has take the term “type” to a whole new level.

Now, I swore I was done talking about Kim K on WhyDid, but this was too startling to ignore. While Ms. Kardashian has clearly moved on from her breakup with New Jersey Nets player, Kris Humphries… (Have you seen her rock? Have you seen her registry?) It seems as though Reggie is stuck on repeat. It raised eyebrows when he was rumored to be dating “model” Mayra Vernoica, but recently he stepped out with a lady so strikingly similar to his ex, Kim, that people started to wonder if this was merely a coincidence or totally creepy.

You may remember Melissa Molinaro from the Old Navy ad that had everyone talking about what a resemblance she had to the curvy Kardashian. I remember her from the terrifically tacky but oh so addicting The Pussycat Dolls Present Girlicious.

So this begs me to ask: Is Reggie simply a man who knows what he likes or is he settling for a Kim K replacement?

xx,

WhyDid

Would You Wednesday: Take One for the Team

By Kirsten|May 25th, 2011|Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Date Him?|

A certain ample bottomed celebrity who will remain nameless (we have a zero tolerance policy here at WhyDid) recently announced her engagement to a 26 year old NBA basketball player. I hate to be a naysayer when it comes to love, but this marriage has about the same chance of surviving as a snow cone does in hell. Now, now… I know what you’re thinking: give the kids a chance. I would like to be proven wrong, but the cards are stacked against them.

I, myself, have dabbled in the “field” of professional athletes. While it was nothing serious, and my heart was left unscathed, I realize now how naive I had been back then. Seeing as I’m not an avid sports fan, when I’d met the gentleman I had no idea who he was, let alone his occupation (as a matter of fact I think he told me he was a DJ). All I knew was that he was good looking and I was 21 and single in the city. We lived far apart, so we didn’t see each other much. I’d be a fool to think there weren’t at least twenty more of me scattered around the states. But, alas, a fool I was. It was flattering and fun to tell my girlfriends, so I continued to play the game. I will never forget waiting downstairs for him after a game with the rest of the “wives” thinking A). how underdressed I was and B). how ridiculous it all was. After seeing the girls hanging around hotels and stadiums, and garnering nasty glares from girls when we were out, it made me realize that all of this was a lot less innocent than dating your average frat boy.

I’ve heard countless stories and seen with my own pretty eyes athletes behaving badly. (Perhaps even one such story involving the newly affianced). Ample amounts of money and cleavage make for a deadly combination. The odds are stacked against these athletes with groupies, gold diggers, away games, and schedules that are just not conducive to a healthy relationship. With 60-80% of marriages ending in divorce, NFL players are well above the national average (this statistic holds true for comparable sports). I’ll be the first to admit I’m crazy jealous, so I’m not sure how pro-athletes’ wives deal with all the temptation awaiting their handsome hubbies. Are the trips and shoes and status enough to make up for it?

Many couples have tried, but not many have been successful. Have you seen an episode of Basketball Wives? So, would you be willing to place a wager on such a dating gamble?

He shoots. He scores!

xx,

WhyDid

image via Baller Alert