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The List Volume 2012

By |December 30th, 2011|The List|
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As the years go by, they seem to pass faster and faster.  I really can’t believe how quickly this year went by.  A good way to revisit and remember 2011 was by going back through all of WhyDid’s posts and choosing my favorites.  I figured it would be pretty easy cause I couldn’t have possibly written more than 12 posts that were awesome… but it proved much more difficult than anticipated.

Throughout the year, we uncovered trends, divulged our dating secrets, re-vamped our closets and poked fun at silly celebrities.  We covered everything from ombre hair to top knots to matzo ball soup to Lana Del Rey.  It was a busy year, yet somehow, some way, I was able to pick out twelve of my favorite posts from this year to ring in 2012.

  1. Do you have a case of the ex?
  2. Don’t you dare grasp for straws.
  3. Can you teach an old dog new tricks?
  4. Remember when you were 18?
  5. Love will come when you least expect it.
  6. How come you don’t do what you love?
  7. Friends come, friends go. Are you my BFFN?
  8. Sex and the City isn’t real life.
  9. Never forget it’s the thought that counts.
  10. Unless, of course, that thought only lasts for the next 72 days.
  11. And of course, I partied in party pants.

What were your favorite posts from 2011?

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: (BFFN) Best Friends For Now

By |July 5th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|
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A girlfriend of mine came to me a week or so ago bummed out about one of her friends.  She couldn’t understand why her friend was acting stand off-ish and asked whether or not she should confront her.  We then got to talking about friends, friendships, and good ol’ relationships.

I feel like I’ve been lucky enough to know some of the best girls in the world.  Each of them special for one reason or another.  (I’ve also known some real assholes too, but let’s not focus on that).  No matter how great some of my gal pals have been, only some have lasted while others were merely temporary friends during a specific period in my life.  Not every person you meet is going to be your friend, let alone, your “best” friend.

Human relationships, whether platonic or romantic, are very difficult.  Just because you aren’t “dating” your friend, doesn’t make it any less difficult and, at times, can make it that much more complicated.  For instance, if a guy hung up on you, bailed on your plans repeatedly, or talked down to you in front of people, you’d probably dump him, right?  It wouldn’t matter that you two had spent a summer at camp in upstate New York when you were twelve.  So, why on earth would you want a “friend” who treated you that way?  Sounds more like a frenemy (not to mention unhealthy relationship) to me.

You must be honest with yourself and decide what type of friendship this is.  Friends come in all different formats, you know.  While you may have shared a love of frat parties in college or dated best friends post college, sometimes we hold onto memories rather than reality.  You must re-evaluate from time to time in order to ensure you are partaking in a healthy and mutually beneficial friendship.

Categorizing your friendships and being honest with yourself certainly doesn’t make cutting ties any easier.  Trust me, there are people who I thought for sure would be by my side at my wedding, but they won’t even be in attendance now.  It’s crazy, but people change and so do relationships.  You have to take the friendship for what it was worth.  Tuck away all the great memories and the lessons you learned and appreciate that person for who she is.

By no means, am I implying that friendships should be temporary or taken any less seriously.  Just make sure you are engaging with people who make you the best “you” possible and who have your best interest at heart.  Don’t be a friendship slut.  A best friend is a very special title and should be reserved for only those  who truly deserve it.

xx,

WhyDid

 

WhyDid Wisdom: Frenemies Forever

By |September 16th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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There’s nothing like having some great girlfriends, but sometimes the line between “friend” and “enemy” becomes a bit blurry. I want to go ahead and blame Sex and the City for this (among other things). For some reason, girls were led to believe that they should be living these totally “fab” lives with their besties in the big city. In reality, it is incredibly rare that four women (especially four who are so different) would have the time, energy, or even interest in maintaining such intense friendships. So, you start to wonder… are these my real friends or just friends out of convenience and appearance? Here’s a few ways to tell:

  1. Gossip Folks: Ever have a friend who constantly talks about her other friends or your mutual friends? Sure, it’s fun to dish the dirt, but it’s true what they say. Someone who talks about other people will most certainly talk about you the minute your back is turned. The best thing to do in these situations is keep your mouth shut and try to change the subject. People like this, will most likely go back to said “friends” and tell them that YOU were talking about them. If you can’t cut this person out of your life completely, cut the conversations with her short.
  2. Always a Bridesmaid: Girls can be very dangerous to one another and it’s really unfortunate. Instead of being happy for each other, there always seems to be some sort of competition and jealousy. Even (by even, I mean especially) between girlfriends. Rather than being elated that Nancy met the man of her dreams, Sue would rather talk trash about him and point out all of his flaws. If Nancy were to EVER to express any concerns about Mr. Right, Sue would be the first person to encourage her to leave him. Perhaps you should hold onto Mr. Right and leave Sue in the dust. A true friend will always be happy for you.
  3. Oh the Tangled Webs We Weave: Remember how Joan wanted to totally stay out of your fight with Karen? Remember when Joan said she liked to keep Karen at an arm’s length? Remember when Karen talked about what a ditz Joan is? What about when Joan called Karen cheap? How about when Betsy was introduced into the equation? Joan hated Betsy and Betsy thought Karen was a creep… So how come Joan, Karen, and Betsy are toasting cocktails and your ears are burning?
  4. Rose Tinted Glasses: Do you have a friend who always seems super happy about everything? Even when you know her boyfriend is full blown cheating on her, she hates her boss, and her dog just died, she has somehow managed to twist the story into something very different? (Girl… you need to get into PR with all that spin!). It’s incredibly difficult being friends with someone who doesn’t even tell you the truth. How on earth are you supposed to give her good advice on a situation that is totally fictional? On a sidenote, you wouldn’t even know she was lying to you if it hadn’t been for Frenemy #1 dishing the dirt.
  5. Get “Used” to It: Sometimes you’ve got to wonder why your pal always wants to hang out with you at Soho House or why they only come around when things are fun and there’s a good party. She doesn’t want to be your friend! She wants to you use your connections and invitations for her own enjoyment. She will suck you dry and the minute she thinks you have nothing left to offer, she’ll be outta there. Trust me, girlfriend, you’re better off.

Friendship isn’t something to “do” so that you can lead the SATC lifestyle. A real friend doesn’t care if you aren’t “on the list” and you’re having a bad hair day. Cut out the fat and focus on real friendship rather than your frenemies. Here’s a little ditty from Ke$ha that sums it up.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Cleaning Out the Rubbish

By |August 5th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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As the weather shifts from warm and balmy to brisk and cool, it’s time to reorganize and re-evaluate. Not only am I talking about your wardrobe, but also your life. I’ve talked many times about cleaning out your closet, but there is another type of cleanse that is vital to one’s well being. No, I am not talking about the Blue Print Cleanse, I mean the social cleanse.

It seems we hold onto some relationships like we do that pilling cashmere sweater from Bendel’s. Why, oh, why can we not bear to part with it? You sure as hell aren’t going to be caught out in public wearing that raggedy sweater, so why would you want to be out in public with some of your relationships?

  1. Case of the ex: Sometimes we are lucky enough to remain friendly with our ex’s. However, this is few and far between. One of the parties is always still interested (or hopeful) in something else happening besides friendship. If you’d like to move forward in the dating arena, it’s time to cut ties with that pesky ex. Next!
  2. Frenemies: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. EHHHH. Don’t keep anyone evil near you. What’s the point? When you allow bad people (energy) around you, all you’re going to do is attract more. Who needs a “friend” that isn’t really your friend? Nobody!
  3. Drama llamas: Yes, Sally is funny and always down for a good time, but it seems that EVERY single time you go somewhere, some type of drama ensues. We are not in an installment of Sweet Valley High. No need for the added stress in your life. Next time Sally calls to hang out, politely decline.
  4. Needy Petey: I don’t know about you, but I stopped babysitting when I was 15. So, if I need to babysit my friends when we are out and about, I better be making $10/hr.
  5. Tick Tock tag-a-longs: Do you have a friend who you merely keep around just because you’re bored and need someone to fill the time? When everyone else is busy, is this the person you call? Not only is that mean to your “pal” it’s also mean to yourself. Why not spend some quiet time with yourself? Instead of wasting your time with someone you feel “so-so” about, spend that time on yourself- perhaps getting a manicure or reading a good book.
  6. Moochey Moochey coo: What about your “friend” who never has cash on them? Or always just so happens to forget their wallet? Do they always say, “I’ll get you next time” yet you’re still waiting on “next time”? It’s time to cut your moocher friend loose. Your wallet will thank you for it.

Once you make room in your life for more positive people, they will suddenly show up (if you build it, they will come). Suddenly, your social calendar will be full, you popular girl, you.

xx,

WhyDid

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