All Business or All Talk?

Speaking of cellphones, while sitting at dinner with friends one night, the topic of Blackberry versus iPhone came up. I have always had a theory that New Yorkers are more Blackberry users while LA folks seem to be bigger fans of the iPhone. While it was three of us at the table (myself and a girlfriend having Blackberries) the odd man out was my friend with an iPhone.

She nearly chucked a bowl of edamame at us when we proclaimed that Blackberry users are actually using their phones for “work” and iPhone users are just having “fun.” I, personally, can not imagine trying to peck out an email to a client on that creepy touch screen. (I’ve seen what auto complete is capable of). I can understand that “creative” people need a phone with more “graphic” capabilities, but in the grand scheme of things, I think iPhones are just fun and flash and Blackberries are all business.

What I really want to know is what you think? Do you have an iPhone or a Blackberry? Is one more serious than the other? Tell me!!!

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Unplugged

Once while home visiting my mom in West Virginia, she nearly threw my Blackberry at my head a la Naomi Campbell because I just would not/could not put it down. She was frustrated that I was constantly tapping away on it and not listening to her (little does she know that I am capable of two things at once!). I do, however understand her concern. I was being a bit obnoxious about it.

So when my phone conveniently fell into the toilet the last time I was home, my mom was secretly elated. (I wouldn’t be surprised if she paid off that toilet to trip me so I’d drop my phone). After that whole “rice” suggestion not really panning out, I was sitting around without a phone until my replacement was shipped. As mentioned, her computer is from 1999 and her home is not equipped with Wifi. Sigh. What’s a girl to do? How on earth was I going to keep up with Twitter updates and update my Facebook status?

We are an incredibly overstimulated society. There are far too many distractions for us. Family dinners are nearly non existent and the ones that are usually are drowned out by the garble on TV. Kids are being diagnosed left and right with ADD when they really are probably just overstimulated with all the Hannah Montana and Dora the Explorer going on. No one remembers how to pick up the phone anymore let alone pen a handwritten letter. We don’t even use full words anymore. “C U L8R!”

It’s so very easy to get caught up in our little social bubbles that we forget to just be totally quiet. When’s the last time you really had a moment to yourself? Complete peace and quiet?

I suggest taking an entire afternoon or even a weekend if you can muster up the courage to completely unplug and disconnect with the outside world so that you can re-connect with yourself. I’m willing to bet that the world will carry on as normal with or without your BBM’s.

xx,

WhyDid

Bamboozle 101

Have you ever heard of the “bait and switch?”  You know, you’re promised one thing and somehow end up with something completely different. This can  happen in with “As Seen on TV” situations as well as your own personal dating life. Guys have all types of tricks up their sleeves, therefore, it is important to be alert. This little ditty is going to be both a blessing and a curse. For the ladies, heed this as a warning. For the gentlemen, you’re welcome. Now you have new and creative ways to pull the wool over your lady’s eyes (unless, of course, your gf reads WhyDid… and if she doesn’t, she probably deserves it).

All That Sparkles…

While jewelry shopping one fine day, the very knowledgeable woman working at the store informed me of a little trick that men sometimes play. As you are (or should be) well aware, diamonds are very expensive. Well, have no fear: white sapphires very, very closely resemble diamonds. So much so, that to an untrained eye, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them even when they are sitting side by side. So guess what? Cubic zirconia is not your only enemy now, ladies. The young woman in the store told me that many of her male clients purchase these as a cheap substitute for their lady friends. So those diamonds in your ears? It’s bullshit.

Real or fake?

Don’t Judge a Gift by Its Box

Going right along with the good ol’ sapphire switch is the box switch. This is pretty elementary. Some girls are only concerned with where something comes from. For instance, simply seeing a Tiffany’s box will make some girls panties drop. They are so excited about the fancy wrapping that they forget to notice the jenky piece of tinfoil inside. That new heart pendant necklace of yours? It’s bullshit.

Table for Two

Have you ever received an invitation to a group dinner from a guy you know only to show up and find that it is a quiet cozy table for two? Weird. Everyone canceled last minute! Hate when that happens. Congrats, you get to spend the next ninety plus minutes coming up with small talk for a “date” you didn’t agree to. So next time you’re invited to dinner “with a bunch of friends?” It’s bullshit.

Step Into My Cubicle

Wow, your bf sure does spend a lot of time on his Blackberry! Don’t worry though! He’s really just doing work. Very, very important work that MUST be addressed during your romantic dinner date. How is he going to be able to take you to nice places and afford you all these luxuries if he doesn’t work so hard? Jen, Julie, and Jessica are all just girls he works with. Don’t worry!! Next time your man explains why his Bberry needs to accompany your crudite on the table? Check, please. It’s bullshit.

Destination Unknown

So, your man informs you that he’s going on a little weekend trip with his buddies. Where are they going? Golf trip to Palm Springs? Ski trip in Utah? No, no, wine tasting in Vermont. Wait. What? Is your man gay? If he’s not, this is code (read: red alert) that he and his buddy are taking a trip with some ladies… who aren’t you. Some quiet bonding time with the fellas in Catalina? It’s bullshit.

One of These Things Is Not Like the Others

The new box of condoms, the strand of hair that is neither your color nor length, the random pink toothbrush, and the Fage yogurt in the fridge is not his maid’s, his sister’s, his friend Paul’s or his. Guys forget how observant we, as women, are. I remember noticing that Scrabble had been moved from its normal spot on the shelf when I had been out of town. Some other bitch was spelling words and spilling wine. Oops! If it’s not yours and he doesn’t even have a sister… It’s bullshit.

So, if your man presents you with one of the above scenarios, kindly pat him on the head, ask him to try again, and let him know this isn’t your first time at the rodeo.

xx,

WhyDid

Country Roads

What does one do after having a mini meltdown? Go home, of course. No one can nurse a wounded heart and tired soul like Mom and a little good ol’ fashion TLC. So, I went ahead and packed my things and headed to where I call home, Wheeling, West Virginia.

I took it as a good sign when my Dictionary Word of the Day app was, “hegira: noun 1. A journey to a more desirable or congenial place.”  I must have been drunk when I booked my flight seeing as how I’d managed to book a flight with a layover. (It should only take an hour to get from NY to Pittsburgh- I stretched it into three). Upon arrival at Pittsburgh International, I rushed to the bathroom with one too many things in my hands and managed to drop my beloved Blackberry into the toilet. Good work, WhyDid.

This wasn’t the first time I had dropped my phone into some type of body of water so I had high hopes that it would dry out and function after a good session under the blowdryer. Unfortunately, there must be something in the water in Pburgh. No such luck. I was later informed that putting your wet phone in a bag of rice is known to soak out the moisture and get it back up and running. Again, no such luck.

After ordering another phone, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was completely disconnected. Not to mention, my mom’s computer is my computer from college (it’s basically a tin can with wires) and she does not have wireless. The only thing my MacBook Air was good for was iTunes dance parties in the kitchen with mom.

As miserable as this sounds, it actually forced me to focus on having a wholesome good time with my mom. I never talk to her as much as I should or talk to her like the friend that she has become. Not having constant access to BBM, Facebook, Twitter, and Foursquare gave me time to appreciate just being quiet and getting back to the basics like simple conversation and … gasp… being quiet.

While home I realized that there were so many simple pleasures that I had overlooked while living the life in NYC- hula hooping, dance parties, lightning bugs, reading, running, getting to know my mom. I spent a week, which never seems long enough, just being myself. There was no need to put on a show and I felt so incredibly relaxed. I understand that I’m incredibly blessed to have a family like mine and if you have something even remotely close, I suggest you do the same. Sometimes you just need to reconnect with your roots in order to move forward in whatever busy city you are living in.

xx,

WhyDid

Heartbreak, Party of One.

We’ve all suffered through at least one brutal breakup in our young lives. You know the type.  Your world has just ended and your heart was ripped out and is currently laying in the middle of the street being run over repeatedly by speeding taxi cabs.  Yeah, that’s the one. Sadly, that is probably not the last heartbreak you will suffer on the road to true love, so I am about to give you the best possible break up advice I can offer from my own personal experience. Pay close attention, little ones.

I’d say I’ve had two breakups that were really, truly heartbreaking.  One was my first “love” and I literally thought I was going to curl up in the corner and die during that tumultuous time. The second was my most recent breakup and it was a long and painful time coming. One was a much more sweet and innocent love and the other was a more “grown up” adult relationship (we shared an apartment together and talk of nuptials had been breached). While my first heartbreak literally lingered on for years (yes, multiple), the second I only felt for a couple months. You’re wondering how on earth that is possible. Was it because I didn’t love one as much as the other?

Both situations were very different but, I don’t feel that the type of love I felt or the actual cause of breakup were what made the difference in how I recovered. What made the difference was how I reacted. In heartbreak number one, I allowed the back and forth and the “maybe we will get back together” business go on for far too long and that’s how I ended up still wounded a year later. Heartbreak number two was much, much different. It took some (very) tough love from some close friends, but I like to call it “Heartbreak Bootcamp.”

People will argue that because my ex “did” something so terrible that it must have been easier to walk away. I agree to some extent because to me, I couldn’t have possibly stayed in that situation (though many people would have).  However, rejection is rejection. However  you’d like to serve it up, you were still dissed. Whether he cheated, told you you weren’t the one, lied, or just was an overall letdown, you’ve been kicked to the curb and it’s time to get to steppin’.  At the end of the day, who wants (let alone deserves) to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with them? Nobody.

That’s the first and most important step. Checking your ego. Stop holding on because you think you can “change” him or because you’re embarrassed. Nobody cares. The only thing that’s embarrassing is holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held onto.

• So let’s get down to business. You found some “sext messages” from a raunchy skank in your man’s phone. Awesome. Obviously, this is unacceptable. It’s time to get the eff out. (Trust me, things aren’t going to get better). Gather your things (ALL of them) and leave. There is no use leaving anything behind because you’re never going to see him again. No, we are not going to call him in a few weeks and ask if we can swing by to pick up that DVD we “accidentally” left behind. Go buy a new one.
• Upon arrival home, call your cell phone provider immediately. Guess what they can do? Oh, block his number. This will limit him from contacting you (even via text) and, even better, you won’t be able to contact him (no drunk dials or weepy texts during a moment of weakness). What could you possibly have left to say to each other anyway? Honestly, it’s better not to know what he has to say. Even if you never respond, it will stir up emotions every time your little phone vibrates.
• Next, it’s time to log into your email. God bless technology, you can now create filters so that those pesky little emails will be sent directly to the “trash” or “spam” folders. You will NEVER have to see them and your Blackberry won’t buzz unnecessarily, therefore conserving battery power. Win, win.
• Take the pictures down. Get them out of the frames. You don’t need to burn them or do some creepy voodoo ritual. Just pack them away somewhere so you don’t have any reminders. Someday you will look back on them as fond memories, but for now, put them away.
• Here’s the hardest part: don’t talk about him. You’re going to want to go on and on and on and… about him, but that’s not going to help and it’s definitely not going to change anything. You can sit and obsess as much as you’d like, but it is what it is and no matter how many different ways you play it out in your head, you know the truth. Besides, your girlfriends can only take so much. You lost your bf, you don’t wanna lose them too!

This probably sounds incredibly cold and maybe it is, but I promise that by following these steps, you’ll be moving on in no time. It’s like pulling a band-aid off quickly rather than centimeter by centimeter or jumping into a cold pool head first rather than dipping your toes in. Break ups are hard and they always suck, but the only person in charge of your feelings is you. Perhaps someday you will be able to be friends, but right now, distance is key. It is very difficult to gain perspective while in the midst of it. Besides, while you’re pouting over Mr. Loserface, Mr. Perfect may very well be passing you by. Why waste your time with something that doesn’t fit? You wouldn’t dare wear an ill fitting dress in public, so why do so with your heart?

xx,

WhyDid