The List Volume LVI

By |October 14th, 2011|Somethin for the fellas, The List|

There’s quite a bit of time spent on WhyDid helping the ladies with the do’s and don’ts of fashion… but it occurred to me last night (while watching an especially offensive episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker) that we need to direct some of this professional fashion help towards our male counterparts.  It also occurred to me that many of you men actually think you have  the slightest clue as to how to dress yourselves.  Welp, newsflash: You don’t.  Just ask Kanye, who took the liberty of deciding he could show his “collection” at Paris Fashion Week.  Oops!

So, this is dedicated to you, brothers Cruz and the rest of you gentlemen out there making our eyes hurt.  (I’ll include photos as to be very explicit).


  1. Manpris.  Yes, those are exactly what you’re thinking. 
  2. Sleeveless hoodies. 
  3. Anything with embellishment.  Good rule of thumb: If you’ve seen it on The Jersey Shore, it for sure shouldn’t see it in your closet. 
  4. Fishnet tank tops. Ahem, Jared Leto. 
  5. If you must wear a blazer with your jeans (and it seems you all must), please, for heaven’s sake, do not wear sky blue baggy jeans with it.  Dark and tailored denim, fellas. 
  6. Button down shirts… only buttoned with one button.  There are multiple buttons for multiple reasons.  Use them. 
  7. Knit hats and/or scarves at the beach or with a tank top, swim trunks, or anything else that could be worn in July. 
  8. Jewelry other than a wedding band. 
  9. T-shirts that could be mistaken for your girlfriend’s in the wash. Tight, deep V, etc. ….  Please reference SNL’s Dangerously Deep V –
  10. Skinny jeans.  I’m so uncomfortable with these for so many reasons.  One being that I don’t need to know that your thighs are smaller than mine. 


The Epidemic

By |January 11th, 2010|Uncategorized|


I know everyone is obsessed with The Jersey Shore on MTV and “The Situation” but he’s got nothing on “The Epidemic.”  Something fishy (kinda like NJ smells) is going on.  Beautiful girls are breaking up with their boyfriends left and right. Didn’t I tell you guys that winter is the time for COUPLING UP??

For many assorted (but equally as douchey) reasons, there are several more beautiful single women walking the streets of New York City. I really can give no explanation as to what is going on. What I can tell you is that there is a new sickness infiltrating the men in our beautiful US of A. Heard of the swine flu?  Well, this is a special little strand of it called the DoucheBag Flu (D1B1).  Please take your men to go get the vaccine IMMEDIATELY to prevent them from falling ill as well infecting anyone else.

In the meantime, my single sweeties, keep your beautiful chins up. Life will go on and so will you.  Review my old breakup rules and start letting time heal all wounds.



P.S. Can we talk about how watching the Jersey Shore only reminds me of the frat parties I attended in college?