In the last couple of months a few of my girlfriends have experienced some very wonky breakups.  Breaking up sucks.  We all know that and we’ve all been there.

Sometimes it is almost as painful to watch a breakup as it is to be in the middle of one (okay, probably not even close to “as painful” but it still sucks).  No matter what you say, your pal is totally bummed and basically the only person who’s going to be able to pull her out of that blackhole of wallowing is her.

So to you hot young babes suffering from serious heart pain, here are my tips on ways to forget that loser (because he really was one, after all) and get back on that horse (preferably a stallion).

  • Erase his phone number.  Sure, you know it by heart and it’s practically ingrained in your brain, but the sheer action of doing it is cleansing.  While you’re at it, go ahead and delete the e-mails/e-mail addresses, pin #’s, and any other forms of contact.  You do not want to be tempted in a weak moment (or drunken moment) to call him and beg him to take you back/curse him out/tell him how the sex really was. Lame.
  • Go get a Brazilian and some new panties.  I am not saying to be a hussy, but if you feel good, people will notice.  I always feel sexier when I’m “groomed” and people will feed off of that energy.
  • Get in touch with old friends.  As much as we all try not to, we tend to lose track of friends when in a relationship. Reach out to some of your old gal pals and plan a girls’ night.
  • Write.  Put your feelings down on paper.  Make a list of reasons why your ex was no good for you.  Having something tangible helps.  That way when you start reminiscing of the good times, you can pop out that little list and remember all the reasons it would never work.
  • Work out.  Whether you run on the treadmill or do yoga, getting physical will help.  It will help you burn off any aggression and it will actually make you feel happier.  (Remember Elle Woods in Legally Blonde? Working out gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy and happy people just don’t kill people.) *Added bonus: your body will look better than ever.
  • Clean.  Clean out your closet. Clean out your refrigerator. Clean out all the clutter.  It will feel like a fresh start and this is way better than chopping off your hair or coloring it (a choice that many women make after a bad breakup).
  • Stay positive.  It probably feels like it’s never going to get better and you’ll never get over it, but that’s not true.  As trite as it sounds, just give it time.  One of my friends pointed out that it’s right before Valentine’s Day and that’s going to be the worst.  Funny thing is, I got broken up with right before Valentine’s day a few years ago, but had actually totally forgotten that minute detail until she mentioned it.  What feels like pure hell at this moment, won’t be remembered a year from now. Trust me.

So stay strong, sister.  Keep away from the Oreo cookies and the telephone.  This too shall pass.