I know everyone is obsessed with The Jersey Shore on MTV and “The Situation” but he’s got nothing on “The Epidemic.” Something fishy (kinda like NJ smells) is going on. Beautiful girls are breaking up with their boyfriends left and right. Didn’t I tell you guys that winter is the time for COUPLING UP??
For many assorted (but equally as douchey) reasons, there are several more beautiful single women walking the streets of New York City. I really can give no explanation as to what is going on. What I can tell you is that there is a new sickness infiltrating the men in our beautiful US of A. Heard of the swine flu? Well, this is a special little strand of it called the DoucheBag Flu (D1B1). Please take your men to go get the vaccine IMMEDIATELY to prevent them from falling ill as well infecting anyone else.
In the meantime, my single sweeties, keep your beautiful chins up. Life will go on and so will you. Review my old breakup rules and start letting time heal all wounds.
P.S. Can we talk about how watching the Jersey Shore only reminds me of the frat parties I attended in college?