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The List Volume XXX

By |December 3rd, 2010|The List|
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Everyone’s favorite time of the week. The List. This week, I’m going to stick with the original format. Obnoxious on the rocks. You’re welcome.

  1. Kim Kardashian’s dating life. We get it. She’s slept with EVERYONE.
  2. Matt Lauer calling this little guy ugly. He probably punches kittens.
  3. People who complain about their weight and then chomp down on BK and Mickey D’s for lunch daily. Ever thought of a salad?
  4. People who do not remove the tags from their outerwear. I think it’s safe to assume they probably also did not unstitch their pockets either.
  5. The Subway commercials that use the little kid voices. Creeeep-y!
  6. Kathie Lee. Why’s she so mean to Hoda?
  7. People who take the elevator to get to the second floor. They’re called stairs. Try them. (*Note: unless you are physically unable then this is void).
  8. Crying children. Shut. Up.
  9. Waiting longer than two minutes to be served in an empty bar. No, seriously, it’s fine. I’ll wait.
  10. Justin Bieber’s new ‘do.

Have a wonderful weekend!

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXVIII

By |November 19th, 2010|The List|
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Seeing as Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I do spend quite a bit of time bitching about things sucking, I figured I would make a list of things that I am incredibly thankful for. Here are ten (in mostly no particular order) of the many things I have to be thankful for:

  1. This guy. I do not know how I would function every day without him.
  2. My incredibly wonderful and supportive family… though now I’ve noticed we are long overdue for a family portrait.
  3. Prosecco.
  4. Living in a country where I can say, do, or wear anything I want all while turning on a faucet for clean water.
  5. Having some of the world’s best friends (who don’t mind a theme).
  6. Having had the opportunity to live in one of the best cities in the world (NY, obvi). The experiences are irreplaceable.
  7. Love. Real, true, pure, magical love.
  8. Thongs. No, I’m serious. Can you imagine a lifetime of VPL (visible panty lines)?
  9. Technology: cell phones, computers, TV’s, the INTERNET! How else would you be able to keep up with WhyDid?
  10. Most importantly, everyone who is reading this. A bored at work hobby has turned into more than I ever could have imagined. Couldn’t do it without you.

Count your blessings!

xx,

WhyDid


The List Volume XXVII

By |November 12th, 2010|The List|
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Have no fear, people. I will never let you down with the list.This week is a dedicated edition to break ups. They are hard, we know. Here are the ten things you need to do IMMEDIATELY upon breaking up to avoid any prolonging of pain for either party:

  1. Change relationship status on Facebook.
  2. Unfriend on Facebook/Unfollow on Twitter. You may as well do this while having the break up talk.
  3. Untag all pictures of the two of you looking blissful.
  4. Unfriend any of his/her friends that came as part of the package deal.
  5. Delete all electronic evidence of a former relationship: pictures, emails, voicemails, text messages, phone number, etc.
  6. Delete all physical evidence of a former relationship: clothing, beauty products, cards, letters, pictures, “mementos”, hair ties, etc.
  7. Cancel any pending plans: trips, plane tickets, outings.
  8. Return anything of value that may have been left as residual (COD, of course).
  9. If breakup is particularly ugly or protracted, implement blocks on Facebook, Twitter, phone, email.
  10. Remember there was a reason (or many) you took steps 1-9. Don’t look back.

Enjoy being single!

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXVI

By |November 5th, 2010|The List|
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Let’s just get back to the basics, folks. Ready. Set. Go.

  1. Ultimatums. They never work.
  2. Lauren Conrad and her “style” book. I can’t. There is nothing original about dark skinny jeans and ruffled LBD’s. I’m sorry (no I’m not).
  3. Boys in berets. They are meant for mimes, and French girls.
  4. Amateurs posing as professionals.
  5. People who feel the need to discuss their political views via social networks. This goes double for those who are uneducated.
  6. Men wearing UGGs. I’m confused. You must be too.
  7. Forget 16 and Pregnant… I have a problem with the show I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. HOW? How did you not know?
  8. Stretch Hummer limos (bonus points if it’s white, triple points if you aren’t on your way to senior prom or a bachelorette party). Stop. It.
  9. Bloggers who can’t spell. I understand a type-o here and there. Happens to the best of us… but it’s called f*#8ing SPELL CHECK. See that red squiggly line?
  10. People who partake in strange behavior on airplanes. This includes but is not limited to: eating pickled eggs, painting nails, and wearing disguises.

Ugh. I need a drink.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXV

By |October 29th, 2010|The List|
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Oh it’s that time of year again.  The time of year that women exploit their sexuality. I love costumes. I love themes. I hate brainless costumes. I hate cliches. Come on, you had all year to come up with something good and you opted for a slutty bumblebee?  Here’s ten costumes I BETTER not see this weekend:

  1. Lady Gaga. In any way, shape, or form.
  2. Hooters girl. It wasn’t funny the first time. Guess what? It still isn’t funny.
  3. Anyone from the Jersey Shore. Make it stop.
  4. Anyone from Glee. No one’s gonna know who you are anyway.
  5. This thing:
  6. Anything from Twilight. I mean, haven’t we had ENOUGH?
  7. Any costume that came in a plastic bag or from Ricky’s. Use your noggin.
  8. A slutty nurse/taxi driver/school girl/ballerina/red riding hood/Tinkerbell/firefighter/toaster/martini. Basically anything that requires the word “sexy” in front of it.
  9. The Kardashians.
  10. Chilean miners. Too soon.

Happy haunting, bitches.

xx,

WhyDid

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