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The List Volume XXXVI

By |January 28th, 2011|The List|
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Ah yes, it is that time of the week.  The list.  It never ceases to amaze me that so many things can be so obnoxious.

  1. The post office. Why is there always a line? What is so difficult?
  2. Willow Smith in Vanity Fair. Isn’t she like two?
  3. Why does my yogurt have a twitter logo on it? I can’t click it. I also don’t want to follow you on twitter, yogurt.
  4. “Fashion” bloggers who can’t spell the names of designers.
  5. People who don’t know how to merge (the cause of all LA traffic).
  6. Greasy bangs. Ew. Just ew.
  7. Brain freeze.
  8. Friends with Benefits coming out right after No Strings Attached. How did the exact same movie get made twice? Like, who forgot to pass along that memo?
  9. Sleeveless turtlenecks. Um? Oxymoron, no?
  10. Charlie Sheen. Seriously, get. it. together.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXXV

By |January 8th, 2011|The List|
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Sorry for the delay. Traveling from one coast to the other has a tendency to throw you somewhat off schedule. That being said, airports are a great place to gather annoyance.  Without further adieu, here is this week’s list in its regular format.

  1. Mr. Pibb instead of Dr. Pepper. You’re not fooling anyone.
  2. Overly plucked eyebrows.
  3. Jeans without pockets. They’re just about as bad as leggings in my book. Plus NO ONE looks good in them. I don’t care how cute your tuchus is. 
  4. Flameless candles. I mean, really? Aren’t those just called lights?
  5. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. I don’t know about you, but the last thing I wanted as an 18 year old young woman was a 16 year old boy.
  6. Ingrown hairs.
  7. Kim Kardashian’s nose 3.0. Stop preaching to little girls to “learn to love what they see in the mirror” when what you really mean is “make a sex tape that makes you enough money so you can afford to change anything you don’t like in the mirror.”
  8. Paying for luggage on airplanes.  Perhaps if you didn’t charge us, there wouldn’t be such a clusterfuck when it comes to the overhead bins.
  9. Self entitled undeserving people.  Know your role. And while we’re at it, slow your roll.
  10. Cankles.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXXIII

By |December 25th, 2010|The List|
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A few weeks ago I asked WhyDid readers on Facebook what they most wanted for Christmas.  Surprisingly, the overwhelming answer was love.  There is nothing I would wish more for anyone. That answer warmed my cold little heart. So, in that regard, I hope that everyone wishing for love receives it from the fat man in a red suit.

My love and I decided to go ahead and open our gifts on the 23rd. I guess we just couldn’t wait. Needless to say, I’m a very lucky girl. You know who isn’t lucky? The person who received the Lego set that I ordered for my boo on Amazon.com. See, my fiance has wanted two things all his life, Legos and apparently a tea set (his mother just showed me his childhood Christmas list). So, I ordered him Legos this year, but when the box arrived, I saw that the card said something really ridiculous, “Merry Christmas (part 1) Hunnah Bunnah.” When I saw this, I thought I must have been drunk when ordering (it is possible), but upon opening the gift, we found a camera rather than Legos. Score for us… maybe not so much for the gentleman who received a Lego excavator.

Anyway, since you all were so kind as to tell me what you wanted for Christmas… here’s my list:

  1. For everyone to have and feel as much love as I do.
  2. For everyone to just stop trying so hard.
  3. For everyone to treasure what matters most. We can’t choose our family, but we can choose our friends. Both are invaluable -love hard and choose wisely.
  4. For everyone to remember where their hometown is. Don’t forget your roots (literally and figuratively).
  5. For shows like Teen Mom, Bad Girls Club, and Keeping up with the Kardashians to all be canceled and shows like Who’s the Boss?, Cheers, and Golden Girls to come back in style.
  6. For ex’s to be banished to far away lands never to be seen or heard from again.
  7. For people who wear winter hats/scarves with tank tops and short sleeves to just stop. I hate contradictions. Careful your arms don’t fall off.
  8. For everyone to get their own brains. Stop copying and start being original! It’s invigorating!
  9. For all puppies and children to have warm, safe, happy safe homes.
  10. For everyone who wears leggings as pants to be subject to a serious fine and possible time behind bars.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXXII

By |December 17th, 2010|The List|
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I’m trying to keep in the holiday spirit, but good word, some people just do not know how to behave themselves. Let’s take a deep breath and get it together. Come on, people.  Seems like some of you should ask Santa for “a clue” this year.

  1. Unattended children. Can’t you harness those things? I keep my dog off of you. Keep your kid off of me.
  2. Celebrity splits. Marriage is not the same as leasing a car. You don’t get a new one every 36 months.
  3. Being called “ma’am.” I’m not that old. I still get carded, thanks.
  4. The Kardashian Kristmas Kard. You’re kidding, korrect? Kan we say, “krap”?
  5. The weird liquidy film at the top of yogurt.
  6. Gift cards. Enough said.
  7. People who quote song lyrics for their Facebook status updates. You’re not fly like a G6, nor are you anywhere near “fancy.”
  8. Inappropriate airplane behavior. This includes, but is not limited to: eating foul smelling (onions, pickles, garlic) food next to me, slamming the keyboard of your laptop, blaring whatever it is that you’re listening to so loud that I can hear it without headphones, talking on your phone immediately upon landing and holding up traffic as you struggle to grab your carryon without losing your call.
  9. People whose Facebook/Twitter/Whatever profile pics were taken on their webcam.
  10. Grinches, Scrooges, and all around grumps.

Excuse me now, while I sip on my eggnog.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXXI

By |December 10th, 2010|The List|
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Sometimes I struggle with the list… other times it flows like the Niagra Falls. This week it was the latter.

  1. Barbara Walter’s Ten Most Fascinating People. If those are the most fascinating people in our country, I need to move. Jennifer Lopez? The Jersey Shore? I hear the weather in Reykjavik is lovely this time of year.
  2. Wearing glasses with no lenses in them. I get it. You’re so ironic.
  3. Stupid bright colored eye makeup. Save it for 13 year old girls, spreads in Cosmo, and Halloween. You look absolutely ridiculous.
  4. Ringtones. I mean, who actually has their phone on anything but vibrate at this point, but really? Sexy Back?
  5. People who overdo it with the winter gear. I’m talking to you Los Angeles. It’s not that f*#(ing cold here. So remove your puffer, fingerless gloves, and ski hat. Try living in New York or Minneapolis. Then you’ll know what “cold” is.
  6. Brushing your hair in public. That’s just disgusting.
  7. Mariah Carey’s Christmas outfit. God bless her, but come on. You’re not 22 anymore. 
  8. Blogs that simply re-post things from other blogs or post magazine spreads. If I wanted a runway re-cap I’d go to Style.com. If I want to see the new spread in Vogue… I’d buy a copy. It’s called “original content.” Try it.
  9. T-shirts with tacky, intentional holes. Don’t know about you, but I try to get rid of moths in my wardrobe.
  10. Amaze-balls. People who say, “amaze-balls” probably also say “Sunday funday.” Have an amaze-balls Sunday funday, assholes.

xx,

WhyDid

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