I’m trying to keep in the holiday spirit, but good word, some people just do not know how to behave themselves. Let’s take a deep breath and get it together. Come on, people.  Seems like some of you should ask Santa for “a clue” this year.

  1. Unattended children. Can’t you harness those things? I keep my dog off of you. Keep your kid off of me.
  2. Celebrity splits. Marriage is not the same as leasing a car. You don’t get a new one every 36 months.
  3. Being called “ma’am.” I’m not that old. I still get carded, thanks.
  4. The Kardashian Kristmas Kard. You’re kidding, korrect? Kan we say, “krap”?
  5. The weird liquidy film at the top of yogurt.
  6. Gift cards. Enough said.
  7. People who quote song lyrics for their Facebook status updates. You’re not fly like a G6, nor are you anywhere near “fancy.”
  8. Inappropriate airplane behavior. This includes, but is not limited to: eating foul smelling (onions, pickles, garlic) food next to me, slamming the keyboard of your laptop, blaring whatever it is that you’re listening to so loud that I can hear it without headphones, talking on your phone immediately upon landing and holding up traffic as you struggle to grab your carryon without losing your call.
  9. People whose Facebook/Twitter/Whatever profile pics were taken on their webcam.
  10. Grinches, Scrooges, and all around grumps.

Excuse me now, while I sip on my eggnog.