I’m trying to keep in the holiday spirit, but good word, some people just do not know how to behave themselves. Let’s take a deep breath and get it together. Come on, people. Seems like some of you should ask Santa for “a clue” this year.
- Unattended children. Can’t you harness those things? I keep my dog off of you. Keep your kid off of me.
- Celebrity splits. Marriage is not the same as leasing a car. You don’t get a new one every 36 months.
- Being called “ma’am.” I’m not that old. I still get carded, thanks.
- The Kardashian Kristmas Kard. You’re kidding, korrect? Kan we say, “krap”?
- The weird liquidy film at the top of yogurt.
- Gift cards. Enough said.
- People who quote song lyrics for their Facebook status updates. You’re not fly like a G6, nor are you anywhere near “fancy.”
- Inappropriate airplane behavior. This includes, but is not limited to: eating foul smelling (onions, pickles, garlic) food next to me, slamming the keyboard of your laptop, blaring whatever it is that you’re listening to so loud that I can hear it without headphones, talking on your phone immediately upon landing and holding up traffic as you struggle to grab your carryon without losing your call.
- People whose Facebook/Twitter/Whatever profile pics were taken on their webcam.
- Grinches, Scrooges, and all around grumps.
Excuse me now, while I sip on my eggnog.