WhyDid Wisdom: Own It, Guuuuuuuuurrrrl.

By |December 16th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

The other day, someone asked me how old Ke$ha is and I didn’t know. So, of course, I had to look it up (I hate not knowing). While I found out that Kesha Rose Sebert is a mere 24 years old, I also learned some other fun facts about her. Kesha was raised by a single mother who was just barely able to get by. Kesha’s upbringing was so meager that the family relied on welfare and foodstamps for a period of time.  As I kept reading Kesha’s Wikipedia entry, I became more and more intrigued by her. I hadn’t really felt one way or the other about her until I realized that Kesha is not only smarter than she lets on, but she owns who she is and where she came from.  She’s strange, vulgar, and a little bit off her rocker, but all of those things make her who she is.

This, of course, got me to thinking.  Not many people are very comfortable with who they are.  It seems now that our culture is obsessed with being “fabulous” and keeping up the “right” appearance.  Our generation has racked up billions in credit card debt trying to “pop bottles” and wear the right shoes, right bags, right jeans. We want to drive the right cares and live in the right zip code. I just have one question: who’s to say what’s “right”?

Thanks to reality shows and people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian who are rich and famous for no good reason, people everywhere are just chasing the dream.  Heaven forbid you work hard to earn your living.  We are all pretending we’re on an episode of MTV Cribs or something.  Why can’t we just be happy with what we already have rather than maxing out the plastic trying to buy new identities? I have news for you. You aren’t Lauren Conrad and this isn’t The Hills.

When people ask me where I’m from, I tell them Wheeling, West Virginia. Glamorous? No. But I am proud of it and it’s part of who I am. Believe it or not, most people (who realize that West Virginia is actually a state and not just the western part of Virginia- see diagram below) are intrigued and start asking lots of questions.

It took a while for me to learn to accept all of the things that society tells me aren’t ideal about myself.  I’m never going to look like Marisa Miller, I probably will never own my own jet, and not even autotune is going to land me a hit single.  My brother, who is an artist, once told me I had a good face for painting because it is “unique.”  Before I could smack him, he explained that people with perfectly symmetrical faces are less interesting and easily forgettable.  Why do you think the world was so outraged when Jennifer Grey got a nose job? Same thing with Ashley Tisdale. Sometimes, the things that are “wrong” with us are the things that people find most interesting and attractive.  Everyone is trying to so hard to be different, yet trying to fit in one mold.

If everyone was the same- looked the same, liked the same things, dressed the same, had the same beliefs, the world would be an incredibly mundane place. So, instead of trying to change all of your so called flaws, why  not embrace them? Own it, girl.



The List Volume XXIX

By |November 26th, 2010|The List|

I’ve been bombarded with commercials, tweets, and status updates about “Black Friday” shopping.  Not to sound like a snob, but I am not, nor have I ever, participated in what I consider such a barbaric event.  I don’t care how large a flat screen I can get or how many cashmere sweaters I can snag if it means that I will be forced to wait in the freezing cold with a bunch of cattle and then be pushed around, trampled, and most likely verbally assaulted once inside. No, thank you. Not worth it. That said, here are ten things I’d rather do than go shopping on Black Friday:

  1. Go ice fishing with my bare hands.
  2. Clean the bathroom with poisonous products and a fresh manicure.
  3. Long division with no calculator.
  4. Drink vinegar through a pink straw.
  5. Watch the Kanye West Runaway “movie” on repeat.
  6. Go sit in an office all day with a bunch of twatards who don’t know what they’re talking about.
  7. Go rock climbing with no harness on Mt. Everest.
  8. Walk home uphill both ways in the snow with no shoes while carrying a bale of hay.
  9. Have a root canal performed by my dog with no anesthesia.
  10. Wear leggings as pants.

Enjoy those sales!



Beauty Buzz: Is Nothing Real?

By |August 12th, 2010|Beauty Buzz|


The other day a Clean and Clear commercial came on and the girls on there looked so fresh and pretty. I remember looking at their bouncy, beautiful locks and thinking, “Dang, I wish my hair was that thick!” Then I caught and reminded myself that there was no need to be jeal. Their hair was not even real!! Hair extensions can make all the difference in the world and ANYONE’s hair could look like that with the right stylist.

When I see these beautiful girls on TV with perfect hair, skin, faces, bodies, I worry about girls in this country. That’s a lot of pressure to try and live up to. I don’t think that most girls realize that half (okay more than half) of what they are seeing on TV isn’t real! There are so many things going on behind the scenes that you would never even know (and these go far beyond the old Vaseline on your teeth trick).


  • Hair extensions- Basically every single girl on television or in the movies has some form of hair enhancement. Whether it be Great Lengths or good ol’ clip ins, there are secrets in her hair.
  • Makeup- You would not BELIEVE what can be done with the use of clever makeup tricks. Blemishes are banished, cheekbones created, eyes widened. You may sit down in the makeup chair as one person and leave as another.
  • Photoshop- Just in case they didn’t quite catch something in makeup, the fine folks over in editing will fix you right up. I once saw a photoshpped picture of myself and wanted to cry. I was now aware of all my flaws and wanted to fix them ASAP so I could look like the girl in that photo.
  • Surgery- Some may go under the knife while others just opt for injectables, but you can be pretty sure that most of Hollywood has had some type of work done. They deny, deny, deny and that bums me out because it’s giving girls a false sense of reality.
  • Crazy diets and workouts- Celebs don’t just look that great by eating cheeseburgers. They have the BEST trainers and nutritionists on the planet. If that doesn’t work, don’t forget about body sculpting makeup tricks and photoshop!

Britney_Spears_Candies_1So next time you turn on the TV or pass the rack of glossy magazine covers on your way to the checkout line, don’t feel bad about yourself. You too could look like these lovely ladies with the right beauty and fitness arsenal. I have been lucky enough to live in places where I can see the behind the scenes shenanigans and it breaks my heart to think that girls across the country (and world) hold themselves to such high (unrealistic) standards. None of it’s real! Next thing you know they’re gonna tell me The Hills is fake. Wait… what?



The List, Volume III

By |May 7th, 2010|The List|


I mean, I think it’s all of our favorite time of the week… THE list. Did you make the cut?

  1. Brandy aka Bran’Nu. Are you kidding me? Stop. It.
  2. Humidity. Not good for my weave.
  3. Acrylic nails. Are we still doing that?
  4. Boys with highlights. Let’s swap spit, not hair products.
  5. Katy Perry’s light up dress. Talk about a waste of energy.050410-katy-623
  6. Jennifer Lopez’s publicist. She’s doing a great job. Good for J.Lo, bad for us.
  7. Pretty Wild. How did this show not get canceled after the first episode? And why do I not have a show? I can swing from a pole too, you know.
  8. Car bombs. How DARE you try to blow up our fair city.
  9. People who tuck their pants into their sandals. WTF??!!TuckItIn
  10. Being uninformed. If you’ve got 30 minutes for The Hills, you’ve got 30 minutes to at least scan the newspaper. Nothing better than beauty + brains.

Have a great weekend – and pick up the Sunday Times…



Why Did You Wear That: Heidi Ho

By |March 11th, 2009|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

Okay, this one isn’t so much about what she’s wearing… but more about Why Did You Do That To Your Face??

Remember when Heidi Montag was Lauren Conrad’s awesome, supportive bff?  The one who would jump in a cab with her on NYE when she had a fight with her douchey boyfriend?  Well, apparently, she traded in her sweet personality when she traded in her face:


WTF? Who is this girl?  The nose, the boobs, the lips! Nearly unrecognizable.  I will say, she definitely upgraded in the hair department.  Maybe she should slip LC her hairdresser’s card.

Oh… and here’s one for good measure:


I will just ignore Spencer altogether, but what is up with her boots?  Not to mention her hideously matching scarf and bag. Seriously though.  White boots?