By now, it should be clear how much I enjoy Sex and the City (SATC).  Not really because it is soooo accurate (cause it kind of isn’t), but because it is so very well written and there’s a lot of great shoes.  Plus, what girl doesn’t like to commiserate with others about those dogs we called men who ruined our lives?  I could watch old episodes over and over and over… and as a matter of fact thanks to our bizarrely programmed HD cable box, I get to watch it on both east and west coast timezones (booyah).  And yes, that is just what I did yesterday.  All five of the last episodes were on (that’s three hours, kids) and I watched them all.  Twice.

I love so many things about the show.  I love that it’s shot in New York and not some stupid soundstage in LA. I love the witty banter and the situations that so many of us can relate to.  There is, however, one thing that I do not love.  His name is Mr. Big.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love Mr. Big as a character.  He could charm the knickers off a nun.  What I do not love is what he represents.  He is that one guy that every girl has dated.  The unattainable for whatever reason.  The one who broke our heart.  The one who got away.

If we were to use SATC as our bible (but who would do that, seriously?), we would be led to believe that some day our mysterious, elusive Mr. Big will magically reappear back into our lives and we’ll all live happily ever after.  The end.  Newsflash: that’s ridiculous.  When Mr. Big was a douche the first time, Carrie should have kicked him to the curb- for good.  But alas, much easier said than done.  So, fine.  We give the guy another chance.  Still a douche?

Rather than seeing all the good right in front of her (Aidan? Are you effing kidding?) she continues in search of something intangible.  She’s holding out for Mr. Big while simultaneously destroying any and all good that’s right in front of her face.  Sound familiar?  I get it, you don’t want to settle, but there’s a big (no pun intended) difference between “settling” and just being outright stupid.  Get your mind right, little one.  You can go clomping around the globe chasing your Mr. Big but he’s gonna chew you up and spit you out.  A guy who treats you poorly once, always will.  You’d be much better off finding someone who loves you from moment one.

I remember right before my first “real” date with my now fiance.  I wasn’t sold on the whole idea to be honest, but my friend said to me (and I will never forget it), “This is what it looks like when a guy really likes you.”  And she was right.  He pulled out all the stops and really tried.  Once she said that to me, it was a game changer and in some ways, I have her to thank for the way things turned out.

And no, I’m not up on some soapbox just cause I happened to get lucky by meeting the male version of myself.  I’m down in the trenches with you single ladies because I get it.  Hell, I’ve been right down there with you.  I have dated in one of the toughest cities to date in: New York City.  Am I right, ladies?  There I dated some of the biggest douchebags on the planet.  I’m not kidding.  You can check my references.  I’ve been through relationship troubles that would make your stomach turn.  The reason I’m going on and on is because you ladies are beautiful and special and wonderful.  Why on earth would you EVER want someone who didn’t recognize that immediately?  Who wants a guy that took a billion years of hemming and hawing and testing out the other goods before realizing you were “the one”?

You’re better than that.

So my advice to you is to watch SATC for the clothes and Samantha’s sexy boyfriend, Smith rather than for any real life love advice.  It is a TV SHOW afterall.  And for those late adopters, 1. better late than never, 2. go out and splurge on the DVD’s. There is a lot lost in the editing for cable TV (listen, a nipple can go a long way).

xx,

WhyDid

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Blair’s been there.  Carrie’s been there.  Even I have been there.  It’s the inner struggle between good and evil.  The choice between the good guy and the guy who makes your hair stand on end.  You know what I’m talking about.  There is the guy who you know will make a great boyfriend, great husband, great father and then there is the guy who makes your stomach flip flop when you hear the mere mention of his name.

We have all met the guys who are perfect on paper.  Good job, good family, good looking.  All reasonable logic would tell you, “Pick him! PICK! HIM!” but then there is that pesky little thing called lust.

For Blair, Dan is a complete departure from her usual type.  As a matter of fact, he is the epitome of all that is awful in her world.  Chuck on the other hand is cut from the same cloth as Ms. Waldorf.  But is Blair fighting against the very thing that she actually needs?  Are we programmed to think that we “need” one thing when in reality what we actually need is something completely different?

I’m fairly certain that women’s hearts around the world broke when Carrie ditched Aidan… not once, but twice in Sex and the City.  He was tall, dark, and most certainly handsome.  Not to mention, he was a man’s man who was good with his hands.  Carrie, WTF?  But alas, our heroine sauntered off into the sunset yet again with Mr. Big.  I can’t lie, there is something eternally endearing about Mr. Big (don’t we all have our very own Mr. Big?), but we all know he is nothing but trouble.  Was Carrie really in love or was she just addicted to the struggle?

So is there an answer to the age old question?  Head or heart?  Do good guys always finish last?

I like to think I got lucky and wound up with both head and heart.

xx,

WhyDid

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As Valentine’s Day approaches, I know a lot of young ladies (and some of you men) are feeling a little down and out about spending this heart filled fuzzy wuzzy holiday alone.  Well, stop it.

The photo above is a little plaque my mom gave to me after a pretty shitty breakup (see where I get my sense of humor?).  I have never been the kind of girl who felt the need to have a boyfriend at all times.  Hell, I spent most of my college career single (and I didn’t even have Smitty yet!).  I enjoy hanging out with myself and I have dated enough to know that spending time with someone who sucks is more work than it’s worth.  Why would I want to spend my precious time entertaining some buffoon, when I could be rubbing my heels with a pumice stone or watching re-runs of SATC?  I’m being serious.

So many people are under the impression that if they are alone it says something about them.  I have seen and know quite a few people who are only in relationships because they feel it validates them in some way.  They’re completely miserable, but it’s totally better to be with someone crappy than be- gasp- alone, right?

I spent last Valentine’s Day with my dear, dear, TJ Kelly, eating cupcakes from Billy’s Bakery and making each other laugh.  It wasn’t that I didn’t have other offers (um, of course I did), but I would have preferred hanging with Teej any day of the week over forcing myself to spend the night with some d-bag who just wanted to get me liquored up and attempt to hump my leg later.  No, thanks!

Why can’t being single mean being confident?  Being single simply means you won’t settle for some average Joe and are holding out for Prince Charming. Duh.

Don’t let some silly holiday make you feel bad about being single.  Be happy that you aren’t stuck with a loser who you don’t even like.

xx,

WhyDid

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There’s nothing like having some great girlfriends, but sometimes the line between “friend” and “enemy” becomes a bit blurry. I want to go ahead and blame Sex and the City for this (among other things). For some reason, girls were led to believe that they should be living these totally “fab” lives with their besties in the big city. In reality, it is incredibly rare that four women (especially four who are so different) would have the time, energy, or even interest in maintaining such intense friendships. So, you start to wonder… are these my real friends or just friends out of convenience and appearance? Here’s a few ways to tell:

1. Gossip Folks: Ever have a friend who constantly talks about her other friends or your mutual friends? Sure, it’s fun to dish the dirt, but it’s true what they say. Someone who talks about other people will most certainly talk about you the minute your back is turned. The best thing to do in these situations is keep your mouth shut and try to change the subject. People like this, will most likely go back to said “friends” and tell them that YOU were talking about them. If you can’t cut this person out of your life completely, cut the conversations with her short.
2. Always a Bridesmaid: Girls can be very dangerous to one another and it’s really unfortunate. Instead of being happy for each other, there always seems to be some sort of competition and jealousy. Even (by even, I mean especially) between girlfriends. Rather than being elated that Nancy met the man of her dreams, Sue would rather talk trash about him and point out all of his flaws. If Nancy were to EVER to express any concerns about Mr. Right, Sue would be the first person to encourage her to leave him. Perhaps you should hold onto Mr. Right and leave Sue in the dust. A true friend will always be happy for you.
3. Oh the Tangled Webs We Weave: Remember how Joan wanted to totally stay out of your fight with Karen? Remember when Joan said she liked to keep Karen at an arm’s length? Remember when Karen talked about what a ditz Joan is? What about when Joan called Karen cheap? How about when Betsy was introduced into the equation? Joan hated Betsy and Betsy thought Karen was a creep… So how come Joan, Karen, and Betsy are toasting cocktails and your ears are burning?
4. Rose Tinted Glasses: Do you have a friend who always seems super happy about everything? Even when you know her boyfriend is full blown cheating on her, she hates her boss, and her dog just died, she has somehow managed to twist the story into something very different? (Girl… you need to get into PR with all that spin!). It’s incredibly difficult being friends with someone who doesn’t even tell you the truth. How on earth are you supposed to give her good advice on a situation that is totally fictional? On a sidenote, you wouldn’t even know she was lying to you if it hadn’t been for Frenemy #1 dishing the dirt.
5. Get “Used” to It: Sometimes you’ve got to wonder why your pal always wants to hang out with you at Soho House or why they only come around when things are fun and there’s a good party. She doesn’t want to be your friend! She wants to you use your connections and invitations for her own enjoyment. She will suck you dry and the minute she thinks you have nothing left to offer, she’ll be outta there. Trust me, girlfriend, you’re better off.

Friendship isn’t something to “do” so that you can lead the SATC lifestyle. A real friend doesn’t care if you aren’t “on the list” and you’re having a bad hair day. Cut out the fat and focus on real friendship rather than your frenemies. Here’s a little ditty from Ke$ha that sums it up.

xx,

WhyDid

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While strolling the aisles of Target picking up the essentials (toilet paper, bottled water, more SATC DVD’s, tampons, etc.), we stumbled upon this:

I mean, really? It was 7pm on a Wednesday evening. WHERE are you going?

WHAT are you shopping for?

Why? Why? WHY?

Listen, I appreciate a gal who puts pride into her appearance, but this? Just too much. There certainly is a time and place for everything. I am not, by ANY means, suggesting that homegirl should be strutting through Target with a Juicy tracksuit and Uggs (heaven forbid), but there is such a thing as overkill. Regardless of the fact that her outfit looks like a leftover from the Clueless wardrobe closet, she is totally overdressed for running errands. And no, I don’t believe she is going somewhere super fun afterwards and just had to pop into Target on the way.

Always keep in mind the place you are going and what is appropriate attire. No one wants to be the only one who jumps in the pool at a party.

All I know is that I hope she got the stock boy’s digits at least.

xx,

WhyDid

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