Why Did You Eat That: No Bitchin’ in My Kitchen

By |January 23rd, 2012|Why Did You Eat That?|

vintage housewife

Okay, so I’m no Martha Stewart, but I do know how to keep a happy and functional home.  I also do enjoy baking and cooking (baking more than cooking).  There is also something to be said about a woman who can cook and look good while she does so.  I know we think it’s hilarious that Carrie Bradshaw used her oven to store sweaters, but today’s “modern girl” can do it all… and that includes whipping up a gourmet meal.

You don’t need every fancy appliance under the sun to make your kitchen run more smoothly, but there are a few gadgets that may very well change your life (or at least make you more efficient when it comes to the kitchen).

  1. Crock Pot 5 Quart Stainless Steel Slow Cooker, $41 – A crock pot is the lazy girl’s dream appliance.  Basically you could throw just about anything in in the morning and come home to a delicious meal.  It does the work for you and do you know how many amazing recipes there are?
  2. As Seen On TV, Eggies, $9.99 – Okay, I must admit I fell for something I saw on TV.  Hey, at least it’s not Pajama Jeans.  These will blow your mind if you enjoy hard boiled eggs, deviled eggs, or egg salad.
  3. KitchenAid Apple Wedger, $10.29 – I love apples, but I hate biting into them (creeps me out) and I find cutting them can be cumbersome (Okay, fine.  I can’t be trusted with sharp objects).  This little guy slices and apple right up in one swift move.  No more excuses when it comes to making yourself a healthy snack.
  4. Wusthof Kitchen Shears, $19.99 – My mom scolded me for years for not having a “proper” pair of kitchen shears.  Theses babies can do everything from cut meat to trim flower stems.
  5. Rabbit by Metrokane Zippity Rabbit Wine Opener, $79.99 – Alright, alright… the kitchen doesn’t have to be all business.  This wine opener is the best thing going.  When you have company, there’s nothing worse than fighting with a rogue cork.  The rabbit (not that rabbit) will have you in and out in no time. [insert dirty joke here].

A functional kitchen is a happy kitchen.



Would You Wednesday: Skeggings

By |January 26th, 2011|Why Did or Why Don't?|

I mean, first came leggings, then came jeggings, then majeggings, all leading up to the ingenious “pajama jeans.”  (To be clear: NONE of these are pants). Now there’s apparently a little somethin’ somethin’ from the fine folks at HUE being made available to you called “skeggings.” (Anyone else thinking the name could possibly have been derived from skank + leggings?).

I’m sort of torn on these “skeggings.”  While they are absolutely hideous (the way they are styled in this photo make me want to just end it) at least your vdot will be covered. I mean, it seems that some people will just never learn that leggings are not, nor will they ever be, pants. So, while these skirted leggings are sort of ridiculous, maybe they are doing more good than harm?



Why Did You Wear That: Since You Obviously Missed the Memo

By |December 29th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

So, in the last two days, I have received SEVERAL inquiries as to why I have not yet discussed the latest heinous “As Seen On TV” product… Pajama Jeans.  Well, the fact of the matter is, my friends, I covered this. Let’s take a moment to revisit the post here.

That’s right. Almost a year ago, I saw these satanic excuses for pants on TV and had hoped they would just: Go. Away.  It seemed they did for awhile, but as of late I’m beginning to think that Pajama Jeans received a second round of Pajama Jean financing and amped up their marketing efforts.  Now, every fifteen minutes, there is a commercial for these walking fire hazards. I really don’t have it in me to “expand” on this topic. Just don’t let me catch you wearing them. I will be forced to find the closest sharp object and impale your heart with it.

So, don’t worry. I’m aware of the situation. I’m just going to continue pretending it isn’t there in hopes that it will just Go. Away.



Why Did You Wear That: A Sign of the Times

By |February 11th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

Voodoo Dolls - LargeOh, I’m sorry, does someone have a voodoo doll with my name on it?  I mean, I’m just wondering since I recently discovered the world’s worst invention- EVER.  Obviously, someone just wants to make me suffer from severe fits of anxiety.  Basically, if leggings as pants and True Religions got together and had a baby it would be this:



Oh, you think I’m kidding? I wish:

Are you f’ing kidding me??  It’s the spawn of satan.  Are you SO lazy that you actually need your jeans and your pajamas to be one in the same?  Do you mean to tell me that you didn’t even bother to shower after rolling out of bed this morning? I mean, what’s the point? You’re obviously already dressed! To me, this is a sign of how lazy and impatient our society has become.  What happened to taking pride in our appearance? This is just encouraging people to continue stuffing their faces (these puppies stretch, after all) and not care how the rest of the world perceives them. Remember this lady?


No? How about her?

Audrey-Hepburn-wcute-dogThey are rolling over somewhere in their graves. No proper lady would ever wear synthetic fake jeans to sleep in and then wear them out in public.  So why would you? Just saying…