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WhyDid Wisdom: Update This

By Kirsten|July 25th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

So, as I was perusing Facebook on my Blackberry last night while I waited for my girlfriend to return from the bathroom, I became irate. I think people are abusing the right to “update” their “status.” This very same topic made “the list” not so long ago and it seems that some of you did not get the point. Here is just a small sampling of the updates that I encountered:

HAPPY!! 🙂
Many things.
Ugh. 🙁
I haven’t been up this late in a long time. Thanks, coffee!!
has anxiety.
Alright, world. I’m ready for you.
lazy Sunday!!
Hahahahaha…. just giggly 😉
LALALALALALALALA
🙂 yay
i <3 mamosas
BORED
bored… so I’m off to tan.
laying in bed
is excited 🙂
so tired.
Charmed&Dangerous! 😉 XO
Is so so so sad.. Thought it was my turn to be happy??????
It’s party day!
It’s going to be a crazy day….crazy crazy crazy!!
is St. Tropez.
easier said than done….. coulda woulda shoulda..

Apologies if one of those is yours. Upon reading these to my friend, a cleanse of my Facebook friends was strongly suggested. While a few were certainly sacrificed, I figured I’d give some status update pointers before ridding my account of the rest of you Facebook status spammers.

Spellcheck, spellcheck, spellcheck. That little red line under the word you just typed is trying to tell you something. Another rule of thumb? Don’t use words that you can’t spell.
If you are on Facebook, we already know that you’re probably bored. No need to broadcast it.
A half assed coy “happy” or “excited” post is bullshit. No one likes a tease. Either spill the beans o or don’t.
Don’t forget to remove the “is.” You are a not a city, a country, or an emotion.
Broadcasting your personal problems is what therapy is for. No one on your friends list is that interested. If you need help, call a professional.
I don’t care what you had for breakfast and neither do your 300 other “friends.”
Facebook is not meant for bragging about how great your life is. Are you trying to convince us or yourself?
You are not Eminem. Quoting song lyrics is unnecessary. I get it, you’re feeling exactly like Christina Aguilera did when she wrote the lyrics to her last ballad- except she didn’t write it. Her producer did. Shut up. No one cares.
I do not need a play by play of your schedule. Facebook is not a Post-it. If you need a reminder, write yourself a note.
Before you post, ask yourself, “Would I give a shit if someone else wrote this?”

xx,

WhyDid

Five Things To Do Online Rather Than Stalk Your Ex

By Kirsten|July 21st, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?|

We all know that the internet is ruining our dating lives but are you spending your valuable time worrying about others’ web presence? I’ve spent my fair share of time internet stalking via Facebook and Twitter and good old fashion Google… but there’s only so many searches you can do online before you’ve become bored and run out of background checks to run. Below are some more useful ways to waste your time online.

Look up something you didn’t know. Knowledge is power, my friends. I Google just about everything. I hate not knowing the answer to things and who doesn’t like to always win an argument? Nobody. Don’t try and argue with me.
Read the news. Novel idea, I know, but some people are only up to date as to whether Jennifer Anniston is actually pregnant or not. Why not become worldly and have something more interesting than Jessica Alba’s new bob to talk about at dinner?
Find out about your ancestry. I mean, this seems like a no brainer to me. Who doesn’t wanna find out that they’re actually related to the royal family of Paraguay?
Shop. Another no brainer. I’m starting to think I may need to put “online shopping” as a “skill” on my resume. I really have a knack for it, but this is a skill that should be honed and can only be done so with hours of practice. Don’t have you size in store? Not a problem, pal. Just find it online and use the best coupon codes from websites like Raise while you’re at it.
Manage your finances. I guess this is a pretty funny thing to mention after encouraging you to shop online, but having a handle on what you are spending is very important. You never want to be worried that your card will be declined when trying to purchase those new Louboutins, so getting your bills and banking set up online is key to keeping yourself in check.

So put down the mouse and stop worrying about what Tommy did last weekend. (Yes, we know you’re totes hotter than his new gf, but who cares?).

xx,

WhyDid

Watch WhyDid LIVE!

By Kirsten|July 21st, 2010|Uncategorized|

So, despite the fact that I’m basically “techtarded” I’ve decided to go ahead and go live tomorrow on USTREAM to discuss the week’s happenings as well as field questions from all of my WhyDid readers. So please send in all of your questions about panty lines, cheating boyfriends, or my favorite type of pasta sauce via Twitter, Facebook, or comment below and tune in to watch LIVE tomorrow at 1pm Pacific time (CA) and 4pm Eastern time (NY). You will be able to send in questions and topics of discussion live as well. Can’t wait to see you then!

xx,

WhyDid

Beauty Buzz: A Day at the Beach

By Kirsten|July 19th, 2010|Beauty Buzz|

As we cruised down the PCH on our way to spend the afternoon in the sun in Malibu, it occurred to me that packing for a day at the beach is no “day at the beach.”

There is a lot of preparation that needs to be done before you spend the rest of the day lounging and laughing. From shaving and exfoliating all the right places to making sure you didn’t leave something behind, here’s a quick checklist to have you on the road in no time!

Sunscreen– I would recommend at least SPF 30 for a full day of fun and sun. Don’t forget to reapply after frolicking in the surf. No one wants to spend Monday morning lubing up in aloe.
The Essentials– No need to cover yourself in product, but be sure to smooth on some nourishing lotion like Kiehl’s. Lipgloss and mascara (waterproof) add a little polish to your face. Don’t forget your sunglasses and hat to guard yourself from crow’s feet and excessive sun exposure to your money maker.
Extra pair of pantalones– Sitting around in a wet bathing suit is bad for your little girl down below. Be sure to pack some extra underwear to slip into when you’re done with the waves. You’ll thank me later.
Sweater– When the sun goes down, so do the temperatures and just in case you haven’t secured a cutie to keep you warm, you’re going to want to throw on something cozy.
Camera– You don’t want to forget those fun memories spent by the sea. Who doesn’t love tagging themselves on Facebook so everyone will be super jeal of your fab weekend?
Host/hostess gift– It’s always in good taste to bring a little somethin’ somethin’ for your host. I brought wine and bubbles. I don’t see why not.

Packing right is a surefire way to make sure you can ride off into the sunset without a care in the world.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him: Text in the City

By Kirsten|May 11th, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?|

Things have changed since Granny was going out on dates. While we think some of her dating advice is brilliant (a good man’s worth waiting for, why buy the cow when the milk’s free?, if you run, he’ll follow. if you follow, he’ll run), Nana doesn’t have a clue as to what we are up against in the age of the internet. Between social networking and cell phones…. we’ve got our work cut out for us.

I’m the first to admit that one of the first things I do when I meet someone new… is Google. Granted, I Google everything because I don’t like to not know the answer, but Googling love interests can be treacherous (curiosity did kill the cat, my friends). Once you’ve clicked “search” you’re bombarded with Linked In, Facebook, Friendster (WHO still uses that), Myspace (WHO still uses that), Twitter, photos, or perhaps, nothing. I can’t decide how I feel about finding “nothing” but in my experience, the more “Googleable” (made that up) a person is, the more heartache that can potentially ensue.

We all know Twitter was responsible for putting the final nail in the coffin of my last relationship and from time to time Twitter eff’s with my current situations. It really is a blessing and a curse. I mean, when you broadcast your whereabouts on the internet… Not to mention that people can now “@” you without permission… Someone’s bound to catch you in a lie. You call it stalking, I call it resourcefulness. Tomato, tomato.

I know people who have literally canceled dates after checking out their prospective suitor’s Facebook page. One too many photos at Bagatelle brunch with a magnum of rose turned me off from a gentleman who requested the pleasure of my company. No, thank you! You are now able to get a peak into people’s lives before you’ve even shared an appetizer. I know what your mom looks like, where you last went on vacation, and don’t worry, I’ve scouted out your ex before we’ve even checked our coats. So really, what is there left to talk about? Wanna make out?

Shit storms have started between couples who are both on Facebook. “Who the hell did is Samantha Brown?” “WTF is Tommy doing writing on your wall?” I no longer want to be Facebook friends with boys I’m dating. Why don’t you go ahead and not worry about what I’m doing and I’ll do the same. It’s unnecessary drama added with really no upside.

Texting has become a skill to be honed at this point. Are you reading the subtext of the text? I’ve received texts that I needed Cliffs Notes to decipher. When I re-read them later (because we all like to go back and overanalyze) I realized that I was having a completely different conversation than my counterpart. I thought we were talking about dancing. He thought we were talking pants off dance off. Woops. Obviously, I need to pick up a copy of Flirtexting STAT. This also leads to all the questions of when to text back, should you text back, NEVER double text. It’s virtually impossible to have a real conversation via text message. I can’t tell you the number of times things have been totally misconstrued over text. Obviously, my sense of humor is not conveyed well digitally.

Um, and shall I even proceed into BBM territory? Good word, those damn D’s and R’s are out to ruin my life. I actually try NOT to give out my PIN to guys I just start seeing because I really just can’t deal with the politics that are Blackberry Messenger. Yes, I “read” your message. No, I have no response. I can’t deal with the blinking red light forcing me to check all BBM’s (OCD much?) and therefore, forcing me to respond. Perhaps this is a strong argument for making the iPhone switch.

Wanna delve into FourSquare? Now you can alert the world as to where you are at every waking moment of your life. My apartment building is a check in point. That in and of itself is creepy. I’m not sure I need everyone to know where I am at all times… Why not implant yourself with a GPS? Might as well. Now you can “just happen” to show up where your crush is. What a coincidence!

While sitting at the pool at Soho House (berating the man next to me for having an iPad), he informed me of a new iPhone app that will allow all single people to identify all the other single people in the room. Looks like I better invest in a fake wedding ring ASAP.

I think I’d like to revert back to hand written notes (send me an E-card, I dare you) and telephone calls. Maybe there truly is such a thing as TMI.

P.S. since we are stuck with technology, you should probably follow WhyDid on Twitter, and join our Facebook page. If you can’t beat ’em…

xx,

WhyDid

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