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Why Did You Date Him: A Case of the Ex

By Kirsten|January 27th, 2011|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

The other day I had to pull an intervention on a girlfriend who was being completely crazy and masochistic. Though I love her dearly, I had to save her from herself. What was her problem? She was obsessing over an ex… The real problem? It wasn’t her ex. It was her boyfriend’s ex.

For some reason girls love to know about their boyfriend’s exes. I can not explain this. I think we want to find out why it didn’t work and obviously compare what an “upgrade” we are to his old flame. While a little curiosity may not kill you, if you let the need for knowledge get out of hand, you will drive yourself bat shit crazy. Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and the good ol’ Google, you can do quite a bit of reconnaissance work.

However, be careful how deep you dare to dig because once you see some things, you will never be able to erase them from your brain. In all honesty, yes, he did have a life before you. Yes, he has had other girlfriends. And yes, he did most likely care about them at some point in the previous relationship. Also, don’t forget that you have a past too. I doubt your boo wants to think about all of the boys before him and I doubt you’d want him to.

I had a guy friend once tell me that his girlfriend brought up his ex so much that he had now thought about his ex MORE in his CURRENT relationship than he did when he was dating her. How crazy is that? You said you’d never have a threesome… yet it looks like his ex will be joining you every night in bed.

As if orchestrated by the heavens, I read a quote yesterday that perfectly summarized all of this:

If it happened before you, then it really doesn’t concern you. Don’t let an ugly past ruin a beautiful future. – Rob Hill Sr.

The point is, his ex is just that- his ex. If he loved her and wanted to be with her, he would. Do not get so caught up in the past that you completely destroy any chance of a future. You, my girl, are smart, beautiful, and wonderful and that’s why your boyfriend is with you. He’s not the one who can’t get over his ex… you are.

Get over it.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Sloth Prevention 101

By Kirsten|January 11th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

When you work in a creative field, at times you can feel completely sucked dry without an ounce of creativity to spare. It isn’t a job where you see immediate results like sales figures or dolla dolla bills ya’ll, so it is easy to get discouraged. Creativity comes from a personal place and demands you to constantly put a piece of yourself out there. At times, it can be completely and utterly exhausting. When I get to that point, it is very very easy for me to want to “sloth.” However, we all know that slothing is not a healthy place to be.

So, this is as much for me as it is for you:

Get Up! There is nothing I love more than lounging in bed all day with my computer. I mean, who doesn’t want to be able to “work” from bed? Well, beds = slothing. Plus, it’s pretty easy to get caught in a Millionaire Matchmaker marathon (not that I would know or anything). By getting up and making some coffee or tea and opening the blinds for some natural light, you will already be gearing up for a great day.
Get Out! Being out in the world will often times trigger something in that pretty little head of yours. Inspiration often strikes you when you least expect it. Be sure to bring a note pad or better yet, send yourself a text!
Read something. (and I do not mean The Superficial or Perez). Read a book. By reading someone else’s great work, you will most certainly feel inspired to create your own masterpiece. BTW, totes nothing wrong with reading gossip blogs… guilty pleasure and great source of fugly celeb outfits.
Disconnect. By being constantly inundated with texts, BBM’s, IM’s,Facebook, Twitter, and on and on…. it’s really easy to get distracted. As Rachel Zoe might say, “Shut. It. Down.”
Gimme a break. I know that many of us have “deadlines” but when you try and force a square peg into a round hole… well, you know the outcome. Take a little break and work on something else. When you come back to your project, you’ll have a fresh perspective.

With that said, I’m closing my Mac and going to sip on some coffee before taking a run. When I return, expect something rivaling that of the Sistine Chapel… or at least another post.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXXII

By Kirsten|December 17th, 2010|The List|

I’m trying to keep in the holiday spirit, but good word, some people just do not know how to behave themselves. Let’s take a deep breath and get it together. Come on, people. Seems like some of you should ask Santa for “a clue” this year.

Unattended children. Can’t you harness those things? I keep my dog off of you. Keep your kid off of me.
Celebrity splits. Marriage is not the same as leasing a car. You don’t get a new one every 36 months.
Being called “ma’am.” I’m not that old. I still get carded, thanks.
The Kardashian Kristmas Kard. You’re kidding, korrect? Kan we say, “krap”?
The weird liquidy film at the top of yogurt.
Gift cards. Enough said.
People who quote song lyrics for their Facebook status updates. You’re not fly like a G6, nor are you anywhere near “fancy.”
Inappropriate airplane behavior. This includes, but is not limited to: eating foul smelling (onions, pickles, garlic) food next to me, slamming the keyboard of your laptop, blaring whatever it is that you’re listening to so loud that I can hear it without headphones, talking on your phone immediately upon landing and holding up traffic as you struggle to grab your carryon without losing your call.
People whose Facebook/Twitter/Whatever profile pics were taken on their webcam.
Grinches, Scrooges, and all around grumps.

Excuse me now, while I sip on my eggnog.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Cut It Out

By Kirsten|December 3rd, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

Today while Skyping with one of my besties in New York, we giggled about how at times, I go ahead and take the next exit to CrazyTown. That sometimes, I can be completely melodramatic. And quite honestly, I’m an emotional cutter.

This actually isn’t funny and I’m not like Demi Lovato cutting. I do not inflict physical harm on myself, but I do tend to enjoy inflicting emotional pain on myself. For some reason I like to see things that are going to hurt my feelings. I can’t explain it, but I find myself doing things that I know ahead of time are going to hurt me. I’ve mentioned before that I have crazy P.I. skills and at times those can be really helpful, but at other times they can be totally detrimental to my mental well being.

Why on earth do I need to see that Twitpic? Why would I want to read something mean someone said about me? Why do I want to read blogs that totally rip me off? All very good questions. It’s almost like I enjoy feeling the pain. And don’t you worry. I’m not selfish with my pain. I like to share it with those around me.

It’s like when you have a cut in your mouth and you keep sticking your tongue in it. Perhaps I’m a masochist. Maybe I’m self destructive. One thing’s for certain, I’m fully aware of my problem. That is again, a blessing and a curse. I’m happy to be well aware of my self abusive behavior, however, being aware of such makes me become responsible for myself. So, the other day, I started taking steps forward in “cutting” this self cutting habit from my life. I started deleting toxic people from my life.

If you find yourself participating in this same behavior, ask yourself, “why?” Is it that hard to just be happy?

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXVII

By Kirsten|November 12th, 2010|The List|

Have no fear, people. I will never let you down with the list.This week is a dedicated edition to break ups. They are hard, we know. Here are the ten things you need to do IMMEDIATELY upon breaking up to avoid any prolonging of pain for either party:

Change relationship status on Facebook.
Unfriend on Facebook/Unfollow on Twitter. You may as well do this while having the break up talk.
Untag all pictures of the two of you looking blissful.
Unfriend any of his/her friends that came as part of the package deal.
Delete all electronic evidence of a former relationship: pictures, emails, voicemails, text messages, phone number, etc.
Delete all physical evidence of a former relationship: clothing, beauty products, cards, letters, pictures, “mementos”, hair ties, etc.
Cancel any pending plans: trips, plane tickets, outings.
Return anything of value that may have been left as residual (COD, of course).
If breakup is particularly ugly or protracted, implement blocks on Facebook, Twitter, phone, email.
Remember there was a reason (or many) you took steps 1-9. Don’t look back.