WhyDid.com

WhyDid Wisdom: Hold Your Tongue.

By Kirsten|April 8th, 2010|Somethin for the fellas, WhyDid Wisdom|

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Hey- this one’s for you, guys. Yeah, I know there are guys sneaking on and reading this. Don’t act like you’re not. It’s come to my attention that a lot of you have diarrhea of the mouth and are scaring the ladies off before you even get a chance to ask for those digits. Since, the weather is starting to get nice and the ladies are coming out of hiding, I’m going to give you a few pointers so that you don’t spend your summer sad and lonely.

Here are a few things that are sure to get a fork in your eye if you utter them to your lady friend:

“Don’t you know who I am?’ – Well, sir, if you have to actually ask, no, I don’t know who you are (nor do I really care).
“You look tired.” – This is basically the same thing as telling us that we look like shit. Smooth move.
“Is that what you’re wearing?” – Don’t. Just don’t. The only man who’s allowed to say this to us is our gay bff.
“Are you going to eat all that?” – Um, don’t mind if I do. Wasn’t aware I was on Celebrity Fit Club. This is the fastest way to give your gf an eating disorder and some serious insecurities.
“How many people have you been with?” – Why don’t you go ahead and mind your business? You’re never going to get an honest answer… just like we’re never going to get one from you. So just leave it alone.
“I forgot my wallet.” SHUT UP. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
“She’s just a friend.” Liar. You may as well carry a fire extinguisher with you, cause you’re pants are on FIRE.
And last but, most definitely not least: Don’t make false promises. Girls, as my friend, JT would say, “Don’t give up the ass until you see the cash.” Pretty wise advice. In my few years living in NY, I’ve been promised a record deal (um, not kidding), vacations, presents, jobs, etc. I’ve seen about a 5% return on these. (Obvi the record deal never happened seeing as my singing voice resembles that of a cat getting neutered). Fellas, don’t offer it up unless you’re ready to deliver. Ladies, there is NO such thing as a free lunch.

So, the next time you feel the onslaught of verbal suicide, just refer to these guidelines to save yourself from a lifetime of solitude.

xx,

WhyDid

Beauty Buzz: Cover Your Tracks.

By Kirsten|April 7th, 2010|Beauty Buzz|

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So, we all sat down and watched the movie, “Good Hair” not so long ago and it was startling to learn that black hair industry is a $9 billion (yes, BILLION) business. I could not believe that such beautiful women were so stressed out about their hair… until I had my own type of hair inadequacy crisis.

Thanks to the great Smith family genes, I’ve been blessed with a full head of hair. Unfortunately, for me, too much is never enough. As you remember, I was fortunate enough to try out the Platinum Seamless extensions back in November. I loved them SO much that I felt like I was practically bald when they were removed (and not because they damaged my hair. It was left unscathed). So what’s a girl to do? Get some clip ins, of course!

At first, I only wore the clip ins for special occasions, like my birthday or an event. Then they became addictive. I didn’t really want to leave the house without them. They made my hair so much fuller and turned even bad hair days into great ones. I didn’t really like my normal hair without them and no amount of hair, skin, and nails vitamins were going to make my hair that thick. So, I continued wearing them all the time. I even figured out crafty ways to put them in (upside down) when I was wearing my hair up. Talent, not a skill, folks. No one could tell when they were in my hair because they match my hair EXACTLY plus I already have really long hair, so there was no weird “layer” where my real hair stopped and my clip ins began.

Sometimes, dating got a little weird. I had to perfect the art of clipping those suckers out one by one and stashing them in my bag while my gentleman caller turned his head. (I know, I’m sick). Never the wiser, I thought I’d duped my boo. He was probably baffled by my resistance to him touching my hair.

This was all fun and games until I was out one night and a friend of mine touched my head and said, “Girl! You got tracks in?” I was mortified. Now everyone was under the impression that my long luscious locks were not mine at all. 75% of it was all my own God given hair, but the cat was out of the bag and I wanted to shove that feline right back in.

So, I had to hold an intervention… with myself. When I spoke to the “boo”, he informed me he obviously knew all along that I’d been popping my clip ins in and out and actually laughed at the fact that I loved my “Texas hair” to be “obnoxiously large.” Hmph… guess I’m not as tricky as I thought. At this rate… I was one step away from a Bump-It.

I hadn’t actually worn my extensions since that night (until our photoshoot). I quit giant hair cold turkey. I can’t say I won’t be putting them back in anytime soon. You’re all on crack if you don’t think that every Hollywood starlet from Kim K to Rachel Zoe aren’t wearing some type of hair enhancement (they’re more common than a boob job in LA). Clip ins are a great way to add a little extra glamour to your everyday hair… just don’t get addicted.

To drive home the point that I’m not actually bald, here are some before and after photos of my white girl weave:

P dot S… please excuse my “photo booth” self portraits. Smitty sure is cute, but his furry paws can’t snap a photo.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Don’t You Eat Me: Posted Up

By Kirsten|April 5th, 2010|Guest Blogger, Why Don't You Eat Me?|

This weekend I was fortunate enough to go to Del Posto to celebrate my one year anniversary with my bf (I know, I know. I’m a lucky girl who gets fed well). I’ve been wanting to try Del Posto since it opened and was super excited that I finally got my chance to try yet another Batali restaurant. I walk in and it’s like I’ve walked into old Hollywood. At first I was slightly overwhelmed by this massive place with it’s piano-playing and mezzanine style seating, but then I started to get into the whole atmosphere. That was until the maitre’ d automatically assumed my bf made the reservation and ignored me (meanwhile I’m the one with the Italian last name).

Obvi I’d done my research on this place and knew EXACTLY what I wanted. I asked the sommelier to recommend a bottle of wine to complement what I wanted and he picked a GREAT bottle. So what did we order? To start, we ordered the lobster salad fra diavola with broccoli rabe and dried orange and the carne cruda with truffled salsa, parmigiano-reggiano and shaved porcini. I didn’t love the lobster, but the carne cruda (like a steak tartar) was pretty good (although not nearly as tasty as Locanda Verde’s).

I know how it works at Italian restaurants- first, you order an antipasti, then a primi, and then a secondi. More often than not I’m more there for the pasta and less for the meat or fish so I stop at the primi. So, I opted for the tasting of three pastas. The waiter asked if we’re sure that will be enough (I thought it would), but my poor boyfriend was guilted into ordering the roasted lamb rack with tail ragu (which he later regretted and admitted that I was right :::ahem as always:::). The three pastas I chose for the tasting were spaghetti with dungeness crab, sliced jalapeno and minced scallion, Lidia’s spicy calamaretti with fruti di mare alla marinara, and orecchiette with lamb neck sausage, cherry peppers, and broccoli rabe. Both the spaghetti and orecchiette were good, but I really enjoyed the calamaretti. The pasta, seafood, and marinara sauce were all perfect together.

By this point I’m stuffed, but alas, we still have the roasted “guilt” lamb on it’s way. The lamb probably would have been quite good had I not been so stuffed that I couldn’t enjoy it

Last but not least, the waiter brought out a small dessert tasting. It was good, but not amazing (again when I’m that stuffed I need dessert to be insanely good for me to continue stuffing my face).

Del Posto was definitely an “experience.” Unfortunately, I think they’ve made this place more about the experience and less about the food. Don’t get me wrong, the pastas were great and I’d like to be shoving some of that calarmaretti in my face right now, but all in all I’d only give Del Posto 3 out of 5 mouths.

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Give me good food not glitz and glamour please! Or give me both. Batali, I love you but I’m heading back to Babbo or Lupa next time!

See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

WhyDid Wisdom: Thin Is Not Always In

By Kirsten|April 4th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

anorexia

I’m taking a break from my usual catty BS, to talk about something kinda of serious (and I don’t mean visible panty lines). I’m sort of torn about writing this because I don’t want to encourage it- just bring some awareness to it.

In the midst of our grueling photoshoot last week, something called “thinspiration” came up. Our makeup artist, the lovely and talented Stephanie Peterson, informed us of a growing epidemic of girls posting videos on YouTube of rail thin girls who they are using as inspiration to get/stay thin. I watched a couple of these videos (of which there are HUNDREDS) and it was utterly disturbing. First of all, most of the girls are so young they probably aren’t even in highschool. Also, they are not Gisele “fit” thin. They are skeletal. Not cute. Actually scary.

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I know I make jokes about being thin (and my friends would argue I have a severe case of body dysmorphia), but that’s just it… they’re jokes. Starving yourself and aspiring to be stick thin is kind of wack a doo. There’s a huge difference between leading a healthy lifestyle, eating right, and exercising and eating cotton balls to fill your stomach. Being too thin is NEVER sexy. No guy wants to haul around a bag of bones! Trust me, I was told to “go eat a porkchop” by a man on the street when we were shooting. We all have issues with our bodies, but there’s no need to starve yourself and put your health in danger. I’ve been lucky enough to not have to deal with eating disorders personally (neither myself nor my close friends), but if you or someone you know is starting to look a bit frail try and get some help before it gets out of hand.

thinspiration

So who is to blame for all of this? Perhaps the fashion world. Perhaps Hollywood. Perhaps photoshop. Regardless, there is apparently a lot of pressure being put on young girls to be thin and we, as a whole, need to do something to let girls know that curves and womanly bodies are sexy and healthy. I’m not saying to hit Mickey D’s and pound a Big Mac, but no need to deny yourself life’s little pleasures (like chocolate!).

laetitia-casta-victoria-secrets-lingerie-2 Life is short, eat dessert.

xx,

WhyDid

Put it in Reverse

By Kirsten|March 30th, 2010|Uncategorized|

Well, folks, I’ve seen a lot of things, but this may take the cake.

rear gear

In case you’re sick of your pet’s “brown eye” you can now purchase a little something called Rear Gear to cover up that unsightly hole. Heaven knows you don’t want Fido to be ostracized at the puppy park because his hind quarters aren’t up to snuff (or sniff).

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Coming in many different styles, you’re pal can be the cat’s meow while wearing his Rear Gear with pride. This takes buttjazzling to the next level.

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Haven’t these people ever heard of giving your K9 a bath? Or perhaps something called a Wet Wipe? I was not aware people were so offended by their furry companions anus.

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