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WhyDid Wisdom: A Word to the Wise…

By |March 3rd, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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nightclub-sparkler-procession

After feeling officially old by having to help (an even older) friend celebrate his birthday at a NIGHTCLUB last night, I realized that I could be helpful to some of you young ladies.  I’m still in my 20’s but a few years can make all the difference. Here are some things I wish I’d known as a fresh face in the big city.

  1. I mean, first and foremost, don’t date a DJ. (This also includes club promoter, club owner, or any other kind of “nightlife” type).  You’re just asking for trouble. They have opposite schedules from you (unless you’re a cocktail waitress or bartender). They are constantly surrounded by “temptation.” 9 times out of 10, you’re going to get burned and I don’t mean from a bottle sparkler (though that’s possible too).
  2. Don’t show up where you know your ex is to try and “show him what he’s missing.” There’s a reason he’s your ex. He isn’t “missing” anything- most certainly not you. Go home. Save face.
  3. If you insist on parading around in front of your ex, don’t over-slut it. There’s a fine line between sexy and stripper. Don’t cross it.
  4. Put on a bra for heaven’s sake. You’re 20. Your boobs should still be perky. This is why I’m an advocate for either fake boobs, or flat chests. They don’t sag. (I told you I’m very black and white).
  5. Alcohol not only makes you fat, it also ages your skin. While going out every single night sounds like a good idea in theory, you’ll thank me later when you’re still getting carded at halfway to 30.
  6. Going along with #5, let people wonder where you are. Remember when Paris Hilton was on EVERY SINGLE red carpet? She was like a cockroach who just wouldn’t die. Don’t be a cockroach. Stay home. Read a book. People will be more excited when you DO decide to show up.
  7. You aren’t going to meet your future husband at a nightclub.  If you think you are, you’re going to wake up at 30 and wonder where all the nice guys are. They’re home. Being a functioning member of society. Not at a nightclub on a Tuesday. Promise. Hell, I pinky swear.
  8. Less is more. How many different ways can I tell you this? Don’t spend 8 hours perfecting your outfit. Everyone’s drunk anyway. Between that and the strobe lights, no one will be able to tell you what you wore last night. Besides, do you really want to ruin your new Herve by being doused with cranberry and vodka? (B tee dubs, stick with soda as a mixer. Fewer calories and doesn’t stain).
  9. Please don’t be “that girl.” We all like to have fun, but don’t be the one with the lampshade on her head. You want to cherish these fun moments in life, but that’s kind of hard when you’re black out drunk.
  10. Nothing good ever happens after 2am. Go home.

You’re young. Have fun, but heed my advice. Just think of me like your big sister- just here to help. I wish I’d had some words of wisdom from someone (slightly) older and (much) wiser. Moisturize, drink plenty of water, take 2 Advil and call me in the morning.

xx,

WhyDid

Oh- P dot S… white guys- Don’t dance. Just don’t.

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WhyDid Wisdom: It’s MY Party and…

By |January 20th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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princess

Yes, it is my birthday (hope you got your shopping done early, folks).  I’ve even changed out of my typical grey/black uniform and am sporting a little hot pink number for this very occassion.  My fingers will soon be tired from opening all of my gifts, but my gift to you are some fun facts about WhyDid.

So while we nibble on cupcakes and dance on tables at Red Velvet enjoy these tasty tidbits about the lady behind the blog.

  1. I can’t whistle. I’ve never mastered the skill and have made it thus far without it.
  2. My favorite animal is a giraffe. Long legs, long necks, killer lashes, and they don’t bother anyone.
  3. I’m slightly narcoleptic. I’ve fallen asleep in Vegas… twice. I can basically sleep anywhere.
  4. I have a tattoo, but I won’t tell you where. (Sorry, Dad!!). It may or may not be the world’s smallest, btw.
  5. I think it’s easier to kiss boys I don’t like than the ones I do.
  6. I’ve been trying to learn French for the last year and a half (even though I took it in highschool and college) and plan on treating myself to a trip to Paris when I finally do.
  7. My first “adult purchase” was a pair of black Christian Louboutin pumps.  I live around the corner and aspire to own a pair in every color.
  8. I have a reverse birthmark on my neck. (Meaning it lacks pigment altogether and never ever gets tan).
  9. I think my dog is really just a hairy little person and I tell him as much. I just wish he could talk back.
  10. I got an “A” in Economics in college and nearly failed sewing.
  11. I have a school girl crush on Joel McHale.
  12. I’m totally superstitious. You won’t catch me walking under ladders or stepping on any cracks.
  13. I love pineapple. I have eaten so much in one sitting that I couldn’t feel my tongue.
  14. If I find something I like, I buy it in every color.
  15. I love costumes and props and think that theme parties are highly underrated.
  16. I buy myself flowers. Why bother waiting for someone else? (Though I appreciate when they do).
  17. My nails are chipped 98% of the time.
  18. I can’t stand when people take themselves too seriously. No one is that cool, I promise. (Play my reindeer games).
  19. Most of my favorite articles of clothing are from my mom’s archives.
  20. My parents thought I was going to be an architect because I used to draw floor plans as a child.
  21. I’m tone deaf and wish nothing more than to be able to carry a tune.
  22. I hate violence. It scares the living daylights out of me. So don’t bother inviting me to a boxing match, hockey game, or violent movie. I won’t go.
  23. I’m a complete and utter hopeless romantic and believe in fairytale endings.
  24. I say my prayers at night and take my vitamins in the morning.
  25. I have an amazing family and some of the best (not to mention beautiful) friends in the world and not one day goes by that I take them for granted. I’m a lucky girl.
  26. I share my birthday with one of my best friends and at times believe we may have been separated at birth. (Happy Birthday, PinkyToe!)
  27. There are very few things that annoy me more than leggings worn as pants.

Happy Birthday to me!

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: What Comes Around Goes Around

By |December 28th, 2009|WhyDid Wisdom|
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broken

So, after seeing my highschool boyfriend (with his two children) in the mall last night with my mom and grandma, I got to thinking.  I haven’t had the best go with the menfolk in the last couple of years (and it’s not just because I dump boys who wear True Religions). I’m thinking it might actually be my own fault.  I believe in a little something called “karma.” Heard of it?

I will be the first to admit that I was pretty AWFUL to my HS bf.  My bff, Jen, is probably laughing hysterically somewhere recalling some of my “stunts.”  I didn’t cheat on him or anything (as everyone is fully aware I am the “anti-cheater”), but I was just not nice. The sad part is, he was probably the kindest boy on planet earth. I just really didn’t appreciate it and actually resented him for loving me so much. He taught me a good lesson though- that whole, “the tighter you hold on, the faster it slips through your fingers” thing.  The more he cared, the more I ran.

Anyway, after experiencing a few more “adult” relationships, I realized, I would probably trade in the glitz and excitement for something a little more simple- unconditional love. Ha… guess the joke’s on me, huh, Karma?

Perhaps we all need to be a little more careful in the way we treat each other, cause I’m starting to think that it may eventually catch up with us. I know I’m a raving bitch when it comes to leggings worn as pants and VPL, but on your average Monday, I’m a pretty nice girl.  So what on earth did I do to deserve some of the heinous treatment I’ve experienced? I think we could ask my HS bf. Ever notice how you grow a giant goiter after making fun of someone else’s zit? Or how your thighs seem a little jigglier after scowling at the fat girl with a Big Mac? It’s Karma. And she’s a bitch.  So don’t be a homewrecker, or a cheater, or just plain old mean, cause eventually Karma is going to return the favor.

However, after my last “incident” with my ex, I would assume I’ve done my penance. The jig is up, Karma. I’ve paid my dues. Got the memo. Take your wrath out on someone else and feel free to send Prince Charming my way.

xx,

WhyDid

Givin’ Him the Eye

By |November 18th, 2009|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|
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bbmessenger_intro_sh

As many of you are well aware, there is a serious BBM (Blackberry Messenger) obsession/sickness going on. Peronally, the only reason I like BBM is for the amazing emoticons (although, I have a few suggestions- Blackberry, have your people call my people). It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you can check whether or not your “friends” have read your message or not, stalkers.  Big fan of the “thumbs up,” fyi.

Anyway, my point is being lost here. Let’s talk about emoticons. A while ago, I had an incredibly traumatic experience that involved none other than the dreaded “wink face.”  Who knew a semi-colon and a half parentheses could wreak such havoc? Yeah, I wasn’t aware either.  Thanks a lot, punctation marks.

A young lady (and I’m really stretching the word “lady” here) tweeted a little somethin’ somethin’ about my then bf.  The statement wasn’t particularly racy… that is, until she added the “;-)” after it.  Um, I think we all know what the wink face means. Oh no, you didn’t!  I, myself have given the ol’ wink face a time or two in my day (i.e., the neverending facebook message romance, along with my epistolary BBM love story). I KNOW what the wink face means, biotch.

Now the smiley face, that is a safer emoticon. That just means you’re happy. I’m cool with you, smiley face.  Smiley face can be used in many contexts and is even safe to use with family members. Do not over “smiley” though.  For one, no one is that happy and also, you don’t want to dilute the effect of a smiley. Use it only when you really are happy.

Kiss face (:-*), you’re nothing but trouble. Please use this one wisely.  I use it for my girlfriends who I adore madly.  It is reserved only for very special people. I’m no “kiss face slut.”  I suggest you not be one either.

Thumbs up and thumbs down, are certainly my favorites. I insert a thumbs down rather than my typical response of “ew” to texts that I don’t like.

In closing, I suggest thinking before you emoticon.  I’m not sure if that is even proper English or if, in fact, “emoticon” can be used as a verb, but that’s fine.  You get what I’m saying.  A wink face (more like a wonk face) basically put the nail in the coffin of my last relationship, so this clearly is not a subject to be taken lightly.  Use your emoticons wisely and give your thumbs a rest!

wink

wink wink,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Blue is NOT Your Color

By |November 8th, 2009|WhyDid Wisdom|
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sad girl 2

Even with all the beauty tips and hottest fashion, real beauty comes from within.  That’s why it’s always important to give back.  Instead of buying that new pair of Manolo’s how about donating to a worthwhile cause?  Often times we are feeling so sorry for ourselves we can’t seem to think about anyone else, but the best way to get through your own troubles is to help someone who is less fortunate.  Trust me, it could always be worse. Check out these notable causes and start feeling beautiful from the inside out.

Summit On the Summit

Over one billion people on this planet do not have access to clean water. Something you and I take for granted every single day.  Beyond that, every fifteen seconds, a child dies of a preventable water-related disease.  Join Jessica Biel, Lupe Fiasco, Kenna, Isabel Lucas, Elizabeth Gore, and several others in their fight for clean water by visiting www.summitonthesummit.com and donating to the cause. They will be climbing 19,340 feet to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro to raise funds for clean water.

 

Children’s Cancer Research Fund

The Children’s Cancer Research Fund has raised almost $100 million in funds from high end events and fundraisers since 1980.  This money is used to invest in the research for a cure for childhood cancer. There are several ways you can help including donations, volunteering, and holding your own fundraisers. Visit www.childrenscancer.org to find out how you can make a difference in a child’s life.

American Humane

American Humane has been protecting animals and children since 1877. Through several different programs they have raised not only money, but also awareness about the cruelty daily affecting children and animals. Visit their website (www.americanhumane.org) to learn how you can become a part of the movement to protect our country’s most precious resources.

See, you’re looking better already.

xx,

WhyDid

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