Why Did You Date Him? | WhyDid.com

Would You Wednesday: Take One for the Team

By Kirsten|May 25th, 2011|Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Date Him?|

A certain ample bottomed celebrity who will remain nameless (we have a zero tolerance policy here at WhyDid) recently announced her engagement to a 26 year old NBA basketball player. I hate to be a naysayer when it comes to love, but this marriage has about the same chance of surviving as a snow cone does in hell. Now, now… I know what you’re thinking: give the kids a chance. I would like to be proven wrong, but the cards are stacked against them.

I, myself, have dabbled in the “field” of professional athletes. While it was nothing serious, and my heart was left unscathed, I realize now how naive I had been back then. Seeing as I’m not an avid sports fan, when I’d met the gentleman I had no idea who he was, let alone his occupation (as a matter of fact I think he told me he was a DJ). All I knew was that he was good looking and I was 21 and single in the city. We lived far apart, so we didn’t see each other much. I’d be a fool to think there weren’t at least twenty more of me scattered around the states. But, alas, a fool I was. It was flattering and fun to tell my girlfriends, so I continued to play the game. I will never forget waiting downstairs for him after a game with the rest of the “wives” thinking A). how underdressed I was and B). how ridiculous it all was. After seeing the girls hanging around hotels and stadiums, and garnering nasty glares from girls when we were out, it made me realize that all of this was a lot less innocent than dating your average frat boy.

I’ve heard countless stories and seen with my own pretty eyes athletes behaving badly. (Perhaps even one such story involving the newly affianced). Ample amounts of money and cleavage make for a deadly combination. The odds are stacked against these athletes with groupies, gold diggers, away games, and schedules that are just not conducive to a healthy relationship. With 60-80% of marriages ending in divorce, NFL players are well above the national average (this statistic holds true for comparable sports). I’ll be the first to admit I’m crazy jealous, so I’m not sure how pro-athletes’ wives deal with all the temptation awaiting their handsome hubbies. Are the trips and shoes and status enough to make up for it?

Many couples have tried, but not many have been successful. Have you seen an episode of Basketball Wives? So, would you be willing to place a wager on such a dating gamble?

He shoots. He scores!

xx,

WhyDid

image via Baller Alert

Why Did You Date Him: Ayo Technology

By Kirsten|April 1st, 2011|Why Did You Date Him?|

Oh, hello there. Yes, I’ve been MIA for a moment or two, but much like a boomerang, I always return. This time with fun news to announce soon. Anyway, we return to our regularly scheduled program in 3, 2, 1…

With Facebook driving up divorce rates, it’s clear Granny is shaking her head somewhere and we have entered another realm of dating hell. We are long gone from the days of sock hops, corsages, and soda fountains. Forget about opening doors and sending flowers. We’re doing dating 2.0 and it’s not your grandmother’s dating.

Nowadays you can log onto sites like Ashley Maddison that will help you orchestrate an affair and there are more dating websites than you can shake a stick at. However, you don’t even need to go to such extremes to find love on the web. Using social platforms like Twitter and Facebook you can connect with just about anyone on the planet. All you need is access to a computer (with warranty that covers laptop repairs in Ipswich so you don’t miss a moment with your potential true love), internet connection, and hungry loins.

I remember falling prey to creeps “trolling” the internet back in the early days of Myspace and Facebook (thank heavens for privacy settings!), but guys aren’t the only predators on the internet these days. Many girls “tweet” and “poke” at boys who catch their eye. A lot of females are very forward and outright pushy when pursuing the objects of their affection. By being so “easy” and available to guys, women are simply making it that much harder on themselves. See, the more you chase the less trouble fellas go to in order to woo you and win your heart. Kiss hand written love letters and picnics in the park goodbye.

I’m fairly certain that the internet is ruining dating, relationships, and worst of all, chivalry. Forget only a phone call away. It’s become clear that people are just a few key strokes away. Ask me out via Facebook, Twitter, email, or DailyBooth and watch how quickly you’re unfriended, unfollowed, or sitting alone listening to the sound of crickets.

Would you take a gamble on internet lovin’?

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him: Hide and Seek

By Kirsten|February 24th, 2011|Why Did You Date Him?|

It always seems that the people who are looking the hardest for love are the ones without it. Seems unfair, but I suppose that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Maybe it’s because they seem desperate. Maybe it’s because they are looking so hard they can’t see what’s right in front of their face. Whatever the case may be, they are unable to find love.

I won’t disclose all the details (I’ll save that for my novel), but let’s just say that I found true love in a very unexpected fashion. A little over a year ago, I had been coping with the aftermath of a gut wrenching breakup by going out a lot and dating several different boys without the intent of committing to any of them. I had sworn off marriage altogether and decided that living in a beach shack with my beautiful adopted children and pets would be just fine.

And then a funny thing happened. I needed help with a project and a girlfriend of mine put me in touch with a former colleague who she’d remained friendly with. From the first email, there was a connection. I looked forward to each and every one of his email exchanges more than an episode of Gossip Girl. While they had started as formal and work related, they turned into hilariously quick back and forth banter that I’d never shared with anyone before. One of my friends called it early on, but I refused to admit that I’d met my match.

I fought it the entire time. I had four million different reasons why it couldn’t be. He wasn’t even remotely my “type.” He lived across the country. He couldn’t possibly like me… He was my mirror image and he was exactly what I needed. I raised my white flag and finally surrendered to the love that had been there all along.

My point is this. Once you come to terms with yourself and the possibility of being alone, you’re more likely to be open to someone else. Perhaps when you are looking so hard for love, you force things that aren’t meant to be. You may even settle for someone who is only “eh” rather than “AH!” Sometimes people are so scared of being alone that they accept behavior and people who aren’t worthy. You can’t find love. Love can only find you and you’ve got to be ready and willing when it knocks on your door. It may very well show up looking a bit different than you’d imagined, but it’s love all the same.

Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own loveless ness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it. -D.H. Lawrence

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him: Can You Teach an Old Dog New Tricks?

By Kirsten|February 17th, 2011|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

Everyone knows how much I love my dog. He literally taught me how to love. I never knew my heart could feel like it was going to explode with joy until he trotted his furry white paws over to me as a two pound puppy. It was love at first lick. That said, while he is the cutest, sweetest dog on the planet, he doesn’t really know any tricks. He’s four years old and only knows “sit.” Not particularly impressive. He also doesn’t really listen to a word I say unless it is W A L K or T R E A T. So, is it too late to teach Smitty anything new? Or is it true what they say, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”?

Well, as I did some research it became abundantly clear that dogs and men may have a lot more in common than you might think. Now, let me preface this by saying that no matter how hard you try, you can never “change” a man. However, some bad behavior can be alleviated by using the very same tactics you might use to train your beloved pooch.

Set the Precedent: From the beginning, it is imperative to make clear which behavior is acceptable and which behavior is not. If you’ve let him chew up your shoes, bark all night, and pee on the rug for a while now, you can’t all of a sudden decide that you don’t like that behavior. Start early and be firm (no matter how cute his little face is).

Positive Reinforcement: While you might think scolding, and smacking, and rubbing his nose in pee is most effective in correcting bad behavior, you’d be wrong. Giving praise, compliments, and treats for the desired behavior is far more effective. When he knows he will be rewarded for acting a particular way, he’s more likely to repeat that behavior (Pavlov’s dog ring a bell?).

Consistency is Key: You have to be consistent in your training because it can be very confusing otherwise. If you let him get away with crapping on the floor one day, but then berate him for it the next, he isn’t going to know if it’s okay or not.

Patience is a Virtue: Going along with the last tip is patience. Behavior won’t change over night. So, stick with it and be consistent.

If all else fails, at least he’s cute, right?

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him: One Isn’t the Loneliest Number

By Kirsten|February 10th, 2011|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

As Valentine’s Day approaches, I know a lot of young ladies (and some of you men) are feeling a little down and out about spending this heart filled fuzzy wuzzy holiday alone. Well, stop it.

The photo above is a little plaque my mom gave to me after a pretty shitty breakup (see where I get my sense of humor?). I have never been the kind of girl who felt the need to have a boyfriend at all times. Hell, I spent most of my college career single (and I didn’t even have Smitty yet!). I enjoy hanging out with myself and I have dated enough to know that spending time with someone who sucks is more work than it’s worth. Why would I want to spend my precious time entertaining some buffoon, when I could be rubbing my heels with a pumice stone or watching re-runs of SATC? I’m being serious.

So many people are under the impression that if they are alone it says something about them. I have seen and know quite a few people who are only in relationships because they feel it validates them in some way. They’re completely miserable, but it’s totally better to be with someone crappy than be- gasp– alone, right?

I spent last Valentine’s Day with my dear, dear, TJ Kelly, eating cupcakes from Billy’s Bakery and making each other laugh. It wasn’t that I didn’t have other offers (um, of course I did), but I would have preferred hanging with Teej any day of the week over forcing myself to spend the night with some d-bag who just wanted to get me liquored up and attempt to hump my leg later. No, thanks!

Why can’t being single mean being confident? Being single simply means you won’t settle for some average Joe and are holding out for Prince Charming. Duh.

Don’t let some silly holiday make you feel bad about being single. Be happy that you aren’t stuck with a loser who you don’t even like.

xx,

WhyDid

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