A few months ago while scrolling through my Twitter feed (gotta stay up on my news), I laughed out loud when I saw the headline that read, “How To Get a Guy: Talk About Technology!”  I couldn’t help but click the link to see what kind of ridiculous dating advice awaited me.  As expected, the article was a bunch of mumbo jumbo garbage encouraging women to “trick” men into liking them based on lies– or as I like to call it, “False Advertising.”  This hard hitting journalistic gem classified “technology” as an iPad2.  That, in and of itself, proved to me that this young lady had no idea what she was talking about.

Basically, this article– and many others like it– suggest that by feigning interest in something men like to do will most definitely land you a man.  So put down that crochet needle, sweet pea.  It’s best you start tossing around the pigskin instead.  It doesn’t matter what YOU like to do.  It’s much more important to fake a hobby to reel in a real catch!

Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying– you should always be open to trying new things and accepting new opportunities.  Variety is the spice of life.   I’m just saying that there’s no need to fake a “hobby” or interest in something that you have not even the slightest inkling to try.  When I hear girls dishing about how much they LOVE football (or whichever applicable sport) and can’t get enough of Back to the Future (or whichever nerdy boy flick), I roll my eyes and internally groan.  I do it for them as well as myself… cause now guys actually think there are some girls out there who love this crap.  And you know what will eventually happen?  It will all blow up in your face when he realizes that you’ve been faking the funk with your model airplane fetish.

There’s nothing wrong with having separate interests.  A good guy will be happy and even encourage you to have your own interests and you should humor his.  For instance, I’m not what you would call a winter sports kinda gal.  I don’t like the cold and no one has ever accused me of being an “athlete.”  So, when you ‘re finished speeding down the bunny slopes, I’ll meet you in the lodge– where I’ll be getting a foot rub and indulging in a marshmallow topped hot cocoa.

So, despite my above argument, would you fake a hobby to impress a guy?

xx,

WhyDid

Photo via Bimmerfest

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You know that saying, “those who can’t do teach”?  Yeah, well, often times that’s me.  I tend to have a very level head when it comes to my friends’ and loved ones’ problems… yet, when it comes to my own… well, let’s not go there.  But the point is, I love to help out where I can.  Sometimes all you need is a fresh perspective or different point of view in order to sort things out.  That’s where I come in.  This week, we have a little bit of a glitch in the domestic bliss:

Dear WhyDid,

My boyfriend has really started to take me for granted.  I do so much for him and initially I did it because I wanted to, but now it feels like he just expects it.  We live together and I do the dishes, the laundry, make dinner.  I’m your regular 50′s housewife– except I work too!  I don’t need him to thank me on a daily basis (although that would be nice), but showing a little bit of appreciation from time to time wouldn’t hurt.  How do I let him know that this house doesn’t clean itself without coming off as a lunatic?

love,

Desperate Housewife

Well, here’s my advice and it’s quite simple.  Don’t. Do. Anything.  Literally.  Stop doing everything that you’ve been doing to make his life better, simpler, more cushy.  He’ll notice.  And he’ll notice fast.  It’s a funny thing with guys.  They can’t seem to muster up a “thank you” when all’s running smoothly, but the moment something’s awry they have plenty to say.  When he does speak up, do not turn this into World War III.  Use it as an opening to let him know that you feel a little bit underappreciated.

He’s not a bum because he started getting comfortable with your domestic expertise.  Relationships change with time.  People get used to things and can forget what life was like pre-you (aka awful).  While we’re on the subject, let’s flip things around.  When’s the last time you dolled yourself up and greeted him at the door?  Do you sleep in sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt?  Women are also guilty of getting comfortable.  Don’t worry, your relationship isn’t headed for the rocks.  This is just a gentle reminder that you need to let each other know how much you appreciate one another and that you may need to crank the heat back up.

Sometimes it’s what you don’t say.

Need a little WhyDid Wisdom?  Send your questions here.

xx,

WhyDid

Image via Apples and Onions

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By now, it should be clear how much I enjoy Sex and the City (SATC).  Not really because it is soooo accurate (cause it kind of isn’t), but because it is so very well written and there’s a lot of great shoes.  Plus, what girl doesn’t like to commiserate with others about those dogs we called men who ruined our lives?  I could watch old episodes over and over and over… and as a matter of fact thanks to our bizarrely programmed HD cable box, I get to watch it on both east and west coast timezones (booyah).  And yes, that is just what I did yesterday.  All five of the last episodes were on (that’s three hours, kids) and I watched them all.  Twice.

I love so many things about the show.  I love that it’s shot in New York and not some stupid soundstage in LA. I love the witty banter and the situations that so many of us can relate to.  There is, however, one thing that I do not love.  His name is Mr. Big.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love Mr. Big as a character.  He could charm the knickers off a nun.  What I do not love is what he represents.  He is that one guy that every girl has dated.  The unattainable for whatever reason.  The one who broke our heart.  The one who got away.

If we were to use SATC as our bible (but who would do that, seriously?), we would be led to believe that some day our mysterious, elusive Mr. Big will magically reappear back into our lives and we’ll all live happily ever after.  The end.  Newsflash: that’s ridiculous.  When Mr. Big was a douche the first time, Carrie should have kicked him to the curb- for good.  But alas, much easier said than done.  So, fine.  We give the guy another chance.  Still a douche?

Rather than seeing all the good right in front of her (Aidan? Are you effing kidding?) she continues in search of something intangible.  She’s holding out for Mr. Big while simultaneously destroying any and all good that’s right in front of her face.  Sound familiar?  I get it, you don’t want to settle, but there’s a big (no pun intended) difference between “settling” and just being outright stupid.  Get your mind right, little one.  You can go clomping around the globe chasing your Mr. Big but he’s gonna chew you up and spit you out.  A guy who treats you poorly once, always will.  You’d be much better off finding someone who loves you from moment one.

I remember right before my first “real” date with my now fiance.  I wasn’t sold on the whole idea to be honest, but my friend said to me (and I will never forget it), “This is what it looks like when a guy really likes you.”  And she was right.  He pulled out all the stops and really tried.  Once she said that to me, it was a game changer and in some ways, I have her to thank for the way things turned out.

And no, I’m not up on some soapbox just cause I happened to get lucky by meeting the male version of myself.  I’m down in the trenches with you single ladies because I get it.  Hell, I’ve been right down there with you.  I have dated in one of the toughest cities to date in: New York City.  Am I right, ladies?  There I dated some of the biggest douchebags on the planet.  I’m not kidding.  You can check my references.  I’ve been through relationship troubles that would make your stomach turn.  The reason I’m going on and on is because you ladies are beautiful and special and wonderful.  Why on earth would you EVER want someone who didn’t recognize that immediately?  Who wants a guy that took a billion years of hemming and hawing and testing out the other goods before realizing you were “the one”?

You’re better than that.

So my advice to you is to watch SATC for the clothes and Samantha’s sexy boyfriend, Smith rather than for any real life love advice.  It is a TV SHOW afterall.  And for those late adopters, 1. better late than never, 2. go out and splurge on the DVD’s. There is a lot lost in the editing for cable TV (listen, a nipple can go a long way).

xx,

WhyDid

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A certain ample bottomed celebrity who will remain nameless (we have a zero tolerance policy here at WhyDid) recently announced her engagement to a 26 year old NBA basketball player.  I hate to be a naysayer when it comes to love, but this marriage has about the same chance of surviving as a snow cone does in hell.  Now, now… I know what you’re thinking: give the kids a chance.  I would like to be proven wrong, but the cards are stacked against them.

I, myself, have dabbled in the “field” of professional athletes.  While it was nothing serious, and my  heart was left unscathed, I realize now how naive I had been back then.  Seeing as I’m not an avid sports fan, when I’d met the gentleman I had no idea who he was, let alone his occupation (as a matter of fact I think he told me he was a DJ).  All I knew was that he was good looking and I was 21 and single in the city.  We lived far apart, so we didn’t see each other much.  I’d be a fool to think there weren’t at least twenty more of me scattered around the states.  But, alas, a fool I was.  It was flattering and fun to tell my girlfriends, so I continued to play the game.  I will never forget waiting downstairs for him after a game with the rest of the “wives” thinking A). how underdressed I was and B). how ridiculous it all was.  After seeing the girls hanging around hotels and stadiums, and garnering nasty glares from girls when we were out, it made me realize that all of this was a lot less innocent than dating your average frat boy.

I’ve heard countless stories and seen with my own pretty eyes athletes behaving badly.  (Perhaps even one such story involving the newly affianced).  Ample amounts of money and cleavage make for a deadly combination.  The odds are stacked against these athletes with groupies, gold diggers, away games, and schedules that are just not conducive to a healthy relationship. With 60-80% of marriages ending in divorce, NFL players are well above the national average (this statistic holds true for comparable sports).  I’ll be the first to admit I’m crazy jealous, so I’m not sure how pro-athletes’ wives deal with all the temptation awaiting their handsome hubbies.  Are the trips and shoes and status enough to make up for it?

Many couples have tried, but not many have been successful.  Have you seen an episode of Basketball Wives?  So, would you be willing to place a wager on such a dating gamble?

He shoots. He scores!

xx,

WhyDid

image via Baller Alert

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Oh, hello there. Yes, I’ve been MIA for a moment or two, but much like a boomerang, I always return.  This time with fun news to announce soon. Anyway, we return to our regularly scheduled program in 3, 2, 1…

With Facebook driving up divorce rates, it’s clear Granny is shaking her head somewhere and we have entered another realm of dating hell.  We are long gone from the days of sock hops, corsages, and soda fountains.  Forget about opening doors and sending flowers.  We’re doing dating 2.0 and it’s not your grandmother’s dating.

Nowadays you can log onto sites like Ashley Maddison that will help you orchestrate an affair and there are more dating websites than you can shake a stick at. However, you don’t even need to go to such extremes to find love on the web.  Using social platforms like Twitter and Facebook you can connect with just about anyone on the planet.  All you need is access to a computer, internet connection, and hungry loins.

I remember falling prey to creeps “trolling” the internet back in the early days of Myspace and Facebook (thank heavens for privacy settings!), but guys aren’t the only predators on the internet these days.  Many girls “tweet” and “poke” at boys who catch their eye.  A lot of females are very forward and outright pushy when pursuing the objects of their affection.  By being so “easy” and available to guys, women are simply making it that much harder on themselves.  See, the more you chase the less trouble fellas go to in order to woo you and win your heart.  Kiss hand written love letters and picnics in the park goodbye.

I’m fairly certain that the internet is ruining dating, relationships, and worst of all, chivalry.  Forget only a phone call away.  It’s become clear that people are just a few key strokes away.  Ask me out via Facebook, Twitter, email, or DailyBooth and watch how quickly you’re unfriended, unfollowed, or sitting alone listening to the sound of crickets.

Would you take a gamble on internet lovin’?

xx,

WhyDid

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