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WhyDid Wisdom: Own It, Guuuuuuuuurrrrl.

By |December 16th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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The other day, someone asked me how old Ke$ha is and I didn’t know. So, of course, I had to look it up (I hate not knowing). While I found out that Kesha Rose Sebert is a mere 24 years old, I also learned some other fun facts about her. Kesha was raised by a single mother who was just barely able to get by. Kesha’s upbringing was so meager that the family relied on welfare and foodstamps for a period of time.  As I kept reading Kesha’s Wikipedia entry, I became more and more intrigued by her. I hadn’t really felt one way or the other about her until I realized that Kesha is not only smarter than she lets on, but she owns who she is and where she came from.  She’s strange, vulgar, and a little bit off her rocker, but all of those things make her who she is.

This, of course, got me to thinking.  Not many people are very comfortable with who they are.  It seems now that our culture is obsessed with being “fabulous” and keeping up the “right” appearance.  Our generation has racked up billions in credit card debt trying to “pop bottles” and wear the right shoes, right bags, right jeans. We want to drive the right cares and live in the right zip code. I just have one question: who’s to say what’s “right”?

Thanks to reality shows and people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian who are rich and famous for no good reason, people everywhere are just chasing the dream.  Heaven forbid you work hard to earn your living.  We are all pretending we’re on an episode of MTV Cribs or something.  Why can’t we just be happy with what we already have rather than maxing out the plastic trying to buy new identities? I have news for you. You aren’t Lauren Conrad and this isn’t The Hills.

When people ask me where I’m from, I tell them Wheeling, West Virginia. Glamorous? No. But I am proud of it and it’s part of who I am. Believe it or not, most people (who realize that West Virginia is actually a state and not just the western part of Virginia- see diagram below) are intrigued and start asking lots of questions.

It took a while for me to learn to accept all of the things that society tells me aren’t ideal about myself.  I’m never going to look like Marisa Miller, I probably will never own my own jet, and not even autotune is going to land me a hit single.  My brother, who is an artist, once told me I had a good face for painting because it is “unique.”  Before I could smack him, he explained that people with perfectly symmetrical faces are less interesting and easily forgettable.  Why do you think the world was so outraged when Jennifer Grey got a nose job? Same thing with Ashley Tisdale. Sometimes, the things that are “wrong” with us are the things that people find most interesting and attractive.  Everyone is trying to so hard to be different, yet trying to fit in one mold.

If everyone was the same- looked the same, liked the same things, dressed the same, had the same beliefs, the world would be an incredibly mundane place. So, instead of trying to change all of your so called flaws, why  not embrace them? Own it, girl.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him: Deciphering the First Date

By |December 10th, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|
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The holidays are a great time to couple up with someone new. With all the parties and the cold weather, why wouldn’t you want someone to share it with and snuggle up to? Be wary though… it’s about quality not quantity. You can size up most guys by the type of first date they take you on. While some guys are looking for that special someone, others are simply looking for a little bit of booty (by that I mean alotta bit). Here’s a breakdown to help you break it down:

  • Coffee Date: This is a joke. I, myself, have never gone on a coffee date. Probably because if someone asked me on such a ridiculous date, I would immediately block his number. Someone who asks you on a coffee date is one of three things: cheap, a cheating boyfriend/husband, just not that into you.

  • Meet for Drinks: In New York, this is a pretty common date. Probably because the city is full of a bunch of alcoholics looking for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal). This one can mean a few different things- He’s looking to get laid and plying you with alcohol is just the ticket. He’s meeting his girlfriend/wife for dinner. He’s not sure if he likes you yet and this is your interview. If he does, you may get the dinner invite after a couple glasses of pinot.

  • Dinner and a Movie: This is just boring and he’ll probably be bad in bed. (*Note: this only applies to the FIRST date).

  • “Group Date”: This is red alert, mayday, SOS shit. There is a much larger issue at hand if your date needs to have his posse with him. This isn’t an episode of The Bachelor and you’re not Vince from Entourage.

  • “Meet me Out”: This is not a date. Getting hammered on promoter’s vodka and grinding to Usher does not a date make. Period.

  • Romantic Dinner for Two: I don’t mean a stop at In N Out Burger. I mean pulling out all the stops- flowers, romance, picking you up, opening doors, chivalry. If he can commit to a quiet dinner, he can probably commit to a lot more.

  • Something Physical (and I don’t mean in between the sheets): Doing something physical and new is a great way for a new couple to bond. There is a reason they have people skydiving and tight rope walking on all those crazy dating shows. A guy who puts some thought into a date is worth keeping around for a second date.

Hopefully this will help you navigate the single’s scene. Dating is not easy- this I know. Another thing to keep in mind: Under no circumstance should a guy ask you out over text message, Twitter, or Facebook. If he can’t pick up the phone, I can’t be bothered. Happy hunting!

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Cut It Out

By |December 3rd, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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Today while Skyping with one of my besties in New York, we giggled about how at times, I go ahead and take the next exit to CrazyTown. That sometimes, I can be completely melodramatic. And quite honestly, I’m an emotional cutter.

This actually isn’t funny and I’m not like Demi Lovato cutting. I do not inflict physical harm on myself, but I do tend to enjoy inflicting emotional pain on myself. For some reason I like to see things that are going to hurt my feelings. I can’t explain it, but I find myself doing things that I know ahead of time are going to hurt me.  I’ve mentioned before that I have crazy P.I. skills and at times those can be really helpful, but at other times they can be totally detrimental to my mental well being.

Why on earth do I need to see that Twitpic? Why would I want to read something mean someone said about me? Why do I want to read blogs that totally rip me off? All very good questions. It’s almost like I enjoy feeling the pain. And don’t you worry. I’m not selfish with my pain. I like to share it with those around me.

It’s like when you have a cut in your mouth and you keep sticking your tongue in it.  Perhaps I’m a masochist. Maybe I’m self destructive. One thing’s for certain, I’m fully aware of my problem. That is again, a blessing and a curse. I’m happy to be well aware of my self abusive behavior, however, being aware of such makes me become responsible for myself.  So, the other day, I started taking steps forward in “cutting” this self cutting habit from my life. I started deleting toxic people from my life.

If you find yourself participating in this same behavior, ask yourself, “why?”  Is it that hard to just be happy?

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Too Much Stuff Makes Me Sad

By |November 25th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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As I mentioned before, when I came to LA in July, I only came with a carry on. Enough for a long weekend. I mean, fortunately for me, I tend to over pack… so my “weekend” is probably a normal person’s seven day vacation. Regardless of such, I had about 1/64th of the contents of my closet with me. So how did I manage with a smattering of my wardrobe for nearly four months? Surprisingly, just fine.

Having only a few different combinations for each outfit made my life more simple. Granted, I may have picked up a few items here and there, but nothing crazy. Just a little somethin’ somethin’ to add a little bit of variety.

Eventually, one of my best friends came to visit and brought me a suitcase full of my clothing with another box of my clothes following close on her heels. I thought I would be totally elated to have some more of my very favorite articles of clothing, but when it all arrived, I felt melancholy rather than manic.

I can’t logically explain the feeling that I got when I was hanging up my clothes in our closet, but it was a very blue feeling. It was almost like having too much stuff made me sad. How could this be? Everyone knows the person with the most stuff wins, right? Um, no.  I prided myself on having more clothes than one girl could ever wear, but having been without for a while, I had learned what was truly important to me. I realized that sometimes (more often than not) less is more. This goes not only for clothes, but also for money, friends, and material things. Focus more on what matters and less on what doesn’t.  The things that can’t be sold on eBay are more important than those that can.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him: Deal or No Deal?

By |November 19th, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|
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Recently, a male friend was filling me in on the details of his current romantic situation and he mentioned that his lady love had dished up an ultimatum. Yikes! All had been going well- or so he thought- until she let him know that it was her way or the highway.

While he was a bit caught off guard by what she’d said, I knew precisely what she was up to. Women often like to throw out a good ol’ fashion ultimatum in hopes that it will scare the pants off her man and secure her role in the relationship.

I mean, I don’t want to play Captain Obvious here, but your dating life is not a gameshow, ladies.  Trying to pull trickery on your man isn’t going to get you any closer to the Showcase Showdown and I can pretty much guarantee it’s not going to land you a briefcase full of a million dollars

I have a bit of a flair for the dramatic, so, I, too am guilty of pulling this little move.  My mom warned me once to make very certain I MEANT what I was saying before saying it.  There’s no point to an empty threat. There’s a reason I had moving boxes stacked in my old apartment three months before actually moving out.

When giving an ultimatum, there are several possible outcomes. So, go ahead and brace yourself for one of the following:

  • Your mate will call your bluff.  This is when you better be ready to pony up and face the consequences of your words.
  • Your mate will no longer take you seriously. Ever hear of The Boy Who Cried Wolf? Overuse empty threats too often and eventually you will not be taken seriously. Your words are now watered down and have zero credibility.
  • It will work. Temporarily. When you have to “force” someone to do something it isn’t natural and will eventually implode . Yeah, sure, you got him to stay a few months longer because you threatened to kill yourself if he left, but really? He probably now a) thinks you’re bat shit crazy, and b) is plotting his exit strategy every time he looks at your crazy ass.

If you think threatening a man is going to get him to do what you want, you’re sorely mistaken. The fastest way to get a man to run for the hills is by trying to paint him into a corner. Feel free to go ahead and spin the wheel of love, but I can’t promise it won’t land on “bankrupt.”

xx,

WhyDid

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