West Virginia tends to get a bit of a bad rap. Whenever I tell someone that I grew up/went to school there, I get the typical antiquated responses. “Are your parents cousins?” “You have nice teeth though.” “I love Virginia!” Come on, guys. Haven’t we gone over this? West Virginia isn’t all hillbillies and bare feet. The Bachelorette whisked her date to the Greenbrier in this week’s episode and as a matter of fact, it may be more Sex and the City than one might think (Sarah Jessica Parker stayed in Wheeling during the birth of her twins via surrogate).
Even when I don’t have a literal home of my own and can’t figure out where I want to be, West Virginia always feels like home to me. With its rolling hills, friendly faces, and unrivaled natural beauty (have you seen my sorority sisters), West Virginia hardly lives up to its reputation. It defies it. And I’m willing to bet if I didn’t tell you, you wouldn’t even know I was there…
glasses: Ray Ban, tank: American Apparel, skirt: Zara, bag: vintage Dooney & Bourke, bracelets: Alex and Ani, sandals: Enzo Angiolini
So now that we’ve all recovered from The Bachelorette Season Finale on Monday night, let’s dissect it. I mean, we all knew she was going to pick Roberto from the get go, so who are we kidding? Those “choosing single” rumors were merely cover up for the blatantly obvious choice. Besides, there was no way in hell a girl like Ali was going to choose being alone.
Of the past 17 seasons, only two couples have actually wed (Trista and Ryan and Jason and Molly – not the original pick, FYI), so this would lead me to believe that there is a common thread here. I mean, despite the fact that 85% of these people are just trying to become famous or further their careers, the entire season is taped over the course of a mere three weeks! Who the HELL falls in love that fast?
Well, the good folks over at ABC have cracked the code on how scientifically people fall in love (and have fully exploited it). By putting said bachelors and bachelorettes in extremely romantic locations and and forcing them to do things like jump out of helicopters and go for hot air balloon rides (which I have done and have plenty to say about it- more on this later) they are tricking their brains into feeling love. Don’t believe me?
Adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin are all released when the brain experiences the first love pangs (also known as attraction). All of these chemicals being released actually change the way people’s brains work. During this beginning stage of love, couples tend to be “blind” and exalt their relationship. All of this happens before actual attachment has even occurred. Meaning, that while these people may have very strong initial feelings for one another, these could easily wear off and suddenly they awake with a love hangover.
So, I will wish my best to Ali and Roberto, but let’s see how they do after spending some time doing “real life.” All the boring mundane things that life is actually made of. Let me know how much you like Roberto after picking up his dirty gym socks for a few weeks.
I mean, this needs no introduction. You know what time it is.
People who talk really loud at restaurants right next to you. Um, ma’am, if I wanted to have dinner with you, I would have asked. Thanks.
The Bachelorette. Ali, they’re all dogs. Get out while you can.
Tots. I get that “totally” doesn’t have an “e” in it, but phonetically speaking, it should be spelled “totes.” When you write “tots” to me, I assume you’re talking about a small child or the potato side dish so lovingly known as tater tots.
Hard drives. Were you aware they can “just go bad”? Oh, well they sure can. They don’t even have to give you an explanation as to why. Bullshit.
Dads pushing strollers and looking at my boobs. Sir, one day your daughter will have boobs too. Eyes up.
Kathie Lee and Hoda. Why do they hate each other so much?
Matching your romper to your car. Really? (thanks to Mike for sending this in! Good work!)
While this song is incredibly catchy, I can’t help but be disappointed to learn that they are saying “teach me how to Dougie” as opposed to “teach me how to nut” (which is what I originally thought they were saying and will continue to sing). Just one question: who/what is Dougie?