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Why Did You Wear That: The Odd Couple (Costume)

By |October 31st, 2014|Personal Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

tortoise and hare halloween costumeAs I mentioned, Halloween can be a bit like New Year’s Eve.  Many people get very into their costumery and a lot of those people happen to be couples.  Being someone who normally loves a theme, I can’t explicitly identify why I’m less than enthusiastic about this year’s Hallow’s Eve, but I am.  Rather than race around gathering the ingredients for the world’s most clever costume, I’ve, instead, assembled items I already own and have let them begin to take on a lives of their own.  I’m calling it, “interpretive dressing.”  When people ask me what I’m going to “be” (and they ask a lot), I simply shrug and let them know that remains to be seen.

But, back to those poor fellows being forced into theme in order to appease their lady beloveds.  A guy friend of mine, was informed that not only would he be hosting a Halloween soiree, he’d need a costume.  I suggested he go as a wrecking ball and his girlfriend could be Miley Cyrus.  When he vetoed that, my next suggestion was to go rogue and dress up as a bumper car so as to take out his aggression as party proprietor.

The best $8 dollars I ever spent was during a recent trip to Home Goods with a friend of mine.  We were on the search for a throw pillow or a tissue holder or some other household item that you never knew you needed (and probably don’t), but when I stumbled upon a Smitty sized turtle costume, mission was temporarily aborted and costume was acquired.  Not long after at a French themed dinner party with my girlfriends, I told them of my purchase and one exclaimed, “Please tell me you’re going as a rabbit!”  I hadn’t thought about it, but once she said it, I thought it was a pretty solid suggestion.  Oh… except for one thing… Smitty is a dog.  Sure, it would make for cute photos (who the hell is going to take them?), but upon exiting my home, I’d just be some chick in a bunny costume.  Truth be told, I’ve brought out stranger “props” than a living animal and if I would ever get around to registering Smit as a service dog this would be a non-issue.  But alas, my little turtle must stay in his shell.  It’s entirely possible that dressing your dog is the new “cat lady,” but offering him a peanut butter chewbone in return for his services seems like a bargain compared to dealing with a human beau. (Several reasons why here).  And honestly, is dressing your dog any worse than dressing your boyfriend in a coordinating denim ensemble?

Oh, and if you’re looking to make your own ears, check out my DIY here.

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xx,

WhyDid

 

Photos by Michael Stiegler

The List Volume 10/31

By |October 27th, 2013|The List|

slutty halloween costumesIt’s true I rarely know what day of the week it is, let alone the actual calendar date, but as far as I’m aware, this past Saturday was not, in fact, Halloween.  As I sipped on my pinot at a party in Soho wearing a sweater dress and over the knee socks, I watched the influx of costume clad cuties circle the room(s).  Sure, there were moments when I had a tough time discerning who was actually dressed up and who was just abusing the right to wear spandex, but I was left wondering if I had missed the memo.   I’m no party pooper, but I think it’s safe to say I’m officially old when the thought of dressing up for Halloween sends sheer panic rather than anticipation through my veins.  Maybe it’s because I don’t need a specific holiday to look sexy or to wear lacy lingerie or maybe it’s because nearly every costume under the sun has been done.  Or perhaps, and most likely, it has something to do with the fact that putting the word “sexy” in front of something, doesn’t actually make it sexy.  And since it would seem that this year Halloween will be dragged out for the better part of a week, here’s a guide to what doesn’t fall under the umbrella of “sexy.”

  1. Pilgrims, Amish, and clergy- especially when impregnated.
  2. Most cartoon characters.  With the exception of Jessica Rabbit, they are meant for children… and while your costume is small enough to fit a child, there is no correlation.
  3. Anything 80’s.  Had it not been for French cut bathing suits and cocaine, I don’t think anyone would have had sex during that decade.
  4. Food in general.  I tried to think of a food that might be considered sexy, but I don’t think dressing up as an aphrodisiac would even get me in the mood.
  5. Anything involving the words “gold” and “digger.”  That’s a great way to send guys running… the other way.
  6. Certain animals were not mean to be sexy.  Cats, yes.  Squid, no.  Bunnies, yes.  Dolphins, no.
  7. Clowns.  Never clowns.  Ever.
  8. Anything involving scar tissue.
  9. Much like animals, not all occupations are sexy.  A naughty nurse is one thing, but a playful plumber?  Not so much.
  10. If it requires assistance when using the restroom, it’s too much and therefore, not sexy.

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Boo.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume LVIII

By |October 28th, 2011|The List|

Last week, I challenged you to make even the most mundane items slutty.  This week, let’s just go ahead and point out the already played out Halloween costumes for this year (seemed to work out for you folks last year).

  1. Black Swan.  You’ve been planning this for 9 months haven’t you?
  2. Nicki Minaj.  This is this year’s Lady Gaga.
  3. Charlie Sheen.
  4. Amy Winehouse.  Just ew.
  5. Steve Jobs.  Too soon.
  6. Pan Am flight attendant.
  7. Any of the Kardashians. Ever.
  8. Angry Birds.
  9. William and Kate.
  10. Justin Bieber.

Hey, there’s still time to make a swap.

xx,
WhyDid

 

P.S. Last year’s list.

The List Volume XXV

By |October 29th, 2010|The List|

Oh it’s that time of year again.  The time of year that women exploit their sexuality. I love costumes. I love themes. I hate brainless costumes. I hate cliches. Come on, you had all year to come up with something good and you opted for a slutty bumblebee?  Here’s ten costumes I BETTER not see this weekend:

  1. Lady Gaga. In any way, shape, or form.
  2. Hooters girl. It wasn’t funny the first time. Guess what? It still isn’t funny.
  3. Anyone from the Jersey Shore. Make it stop.
  4. Anyone from Glee. No one’s gonna know who you are anyway.
  5. This thing:
  6. Anything from Twilight. I mean, haven’t we had ENOUGH?
  7. Any costume that came in a plastic bag or from Ricky’s. Use your noggin.
  8. A slutty nurse/taxi driver/school girl/ballerina/red riding hood/Tinkerbell/firefighter/toaster/martini. Basically anything that requires the word “sexy” in front of it.
  9. The Kardashians.
  10. Chilean miners. Too soon.

Happy haunting, bitches.

xx,

WhyDid