My computer clearly didn’t want my opinion on this year’s Emmy Awards Red Carpet, but I don’t believe for one minute that you guys didn’t. Afterall, my two cents is more like a million bucks. So, here we go. Above are my four favorites from the evening, while below, well…
So, some curtains, a banana, a gingerbread man, and a mermaid walk into a bar. Okay, I’ve got nothing, but wouldn’t that have made a great joke? If you’ve got one, please do share. While all of these ladies are quite lovely, their red carpet garb was anything but. I just can’t understand how Emmy nominated actresses can’t afford full length mirrors… or a competent stylist.
To be honest… I was almost so uninspired that I didn’t even bother with a Red Carpet Recap for this year’s SAG Awards. While the dresses are a bit better than when they started this award season with the People’s Choice Awards, I’m still waiting to be wowed. Having just finished up the Paris couture shows, one would think there would have been a little bit more drama on the red carpet… On a positive note, there was nothing this time that truly offended me either… that much. As we all know, there are only so many designers to go around, so I will now present you with the good, the bad and the debatable (where you’ll be the judge of who wore which designer best).
Rose Byrne in Elie Saab, Kyra Sedgewick in Emilio Pucci, Emily Blunt in Oscar de la Renta, Regina King in Alberta Ferretti
Kaley Cuoco in Romona Keveza, Gretchen Mol in L’wren Scott, Kristen Wiig in Balenciaga, Zoe Saldana in Givenchy
Angelina Jolie and Ashlee Simpson in Jenny Packham
Viola Davis and Sofia Vergara in Marchesa
Julie Bowen and Sarah Hyland in Temperley
Jessica Chastain and Julianna Margulies in Calvin Klein
Alright ladies, it’s time to really step it up. I can’t sit through another boring awards ceremony if you’re not willing to wear something wow-worthy. I will pretend it didn’t even happen next time. Just remember what Rooney’s dad said… the Oscar’s are your Superbowl.
Oh hey guys, I’ve been under the weather… hence my disappearing act. While laying in bed cursing both left and right nostrils, I’ve had plenty of time to think about things that suck. Here’re just a few.
Razor scooters. If you’re over the age of, let’s say eight, and still riding one, you’re doing it wrong.
Your artsy emo photos. Not even Instagram is gonna make that apple more interesting.
Facial piercings… unless, of course, you’re Rooney Mara. Then you can do whatever you want.
“Nom, nom, nom.” I can’t even put into words what seeing this makes me want to do. I hate mouth noises in real life… let alone your ridiculous simulated status update ones.
Speaking of food related status updates. No one wants to see a picture of your shitty dinner or stupid vodka tonic. If your food is in the shape or Mount Rushmore or perhaps there’s liquid nitrogen coming out of your glass, maybe- maybe- I’m interested. Otherwise, you’re just taking up space in my feed.
A piece that all women would be wise to incorporate into their wardrobe is a feminine button down blouse. I tend to be a little “bottom” heavy – aka lots of pants and bottoms and not a top to go with ‘em. A beautiful blouse can be very versatile depending on how you style it. From a casual outing (Rachel Bilson) to a very important meeting (Duchess Kate) a blouse can be worn for almost any and all occasions. Once you come to terms with the fact that titty tops are no longer appropriate, you too will be embracing the ladylike blouse.
So, before I announce who I found fantastic and who made me cry “foul!”, I decided to recap the rest of the red carpet from the Golden Globes. Um… I can’t help but notice… there were a lot of duplications in the wardrobe department. Whoops! Perhaps the stylists in Hollywood need to communicate more. Having a twin on the red carpet might be every starlet’s worst nightmare, but seeing double gives us much more to compare come Monday. While I have my own opinions on who rocked the look best, I’m going to go ahead and let you- my usually fashionably elite- readers decide. Now, behold the beauties that were the Golden Globes:
A Case of the Ex:
Sandra Bullock in Jenny Packham vs. Scarlett Johansson in Elie Saab
Carrie Underwood in Badgley Mischka vs. Dianna Agron in J. Mendel
Pretty in Pink:
Lea Michele in Oscar de la Renta vs. Megan Fox in Armani Prive
Is White Right?
Jennifer Love Hewitt in Romona Keveza vs. Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad
Angelina Jolie in Versace vs. Mila Kunis in Vera Wang
January Jones in Versace vs. Sofia Vegara in Vera Wang
It’s a Sherbert:
Emma Stone in Calvin Klein Collection vs. Claire Danes also in Calvin Klein Collection
Blue for You:
Mandy Moore in Monique Lhuillier vs. Jenna Ushkowitz in Rebecca Taylor vs. Amy Adams in Marchesa