Summer weekends are meant for bikinis, barbecues, and making new friends. Last weekend while we all chipped in to chop vegetables, pureé rotting mangoes, and grill up scallops (in our bikinis), I smiled to myself thinking how much fun I was having and how thankful I was to be surrounded by a group of lovely humans who were not only unafraid to get their hands dirty, but were also smart, funny, and interesting. (I was also thankful we actually made it safely out east after our non-teen driver texted away). Ugh. Who wants to be the pouty girl in the corner who doesn’t dare lift a finger so as to not chip her manicure? Not you. So, if you aren’t that awesome in the kitchen, volunteer to craft up a clever cocktail (have you heard of the “Phrostie”?) and be sure to have something worthwhile to talk about.
First and foremost, remember that while you’re having fun in the sun, all is not well with the world- starting with terror group ISIS. [NY Mag]
They say the way you spend New Year’s day foreshadows how you will spend the rest of the upcoming year. Probably not promising for a lot of you who woke up missing articles of clothing, unable to identify your bedside companion, sans cab fare for the journey home, and with a headache equivalent to the explosion of the Hindenburg. As for me, if today is any indication, I’m all set. Being handed a mimosa upon parting my eyelids, walking outside outfitted in a crop top, and spending the rest of the afternoon alternating between drinking rosé and napping is something I could get used to. Certainly an improvement over the last twelve months. 2013 was a hot ass mess… or maybe that was just me. I basically spent this past year dating completely inappropriate individuals, staying up too late, not working hard enough, and writing it all down. There are plenty of personal bad habits that I wish to lay to rest along with 2013. That said, here’s a countdown of some other things from 2013 that I certainly won’t be crying crocodile tears about kissing goodbye.
No, I don’t want to play Candy Crush.
Trainwrecks. I mean, obviously literal ones, but really figurative ones a la Amanda Bynes, Lilo, and most of my ex-boyfriends. Can we please stop encouraging bad behavior?
Parody t-shirts. You know: Féline, Homies, Commes des Fuckdown, and the likes.
Anything with a peplum.
“Keep Calm” and STFU. Please stop making these. Along with most some e-cards, and definitely those comic strip things.
The word/action of twerking. Also, all mentioning of molly.
“DJ” as a fallback career. When did grasping the general concept of Spotify equate to a paid occupation?
Awl dese cray wayz of mizspelling thangz n stuph. Idk. Itz nawt kewl, bb, k? Werq.
The exploitation of unicorns.
Miley Cyrus’s tongue. (Though her explanation to Babs was somewhat endearing). Let the record show- I’m a Miley fan.
Leggings as pants. Seriously.
Peace out, ’13. I’d be lying if I said I’ll miss ya. xx, WhyDid image via
First it was the see through skirt. Now it would appear that the sheer madness has spread right on over to pants. Celebrities have been seen sporting the look from the red carpet to the courtroom. I’m undecided on the idea as I can see it coming off as quite airy and fun for summer and a great alternative to the maxi skirt, but seeing Lindsay Lohan and Ke$ha trying out the trend makes me want to call the whole thing off.
The side boob isn’t really anything new, but in the past couple of years, it’s been making a pretty strong campaign to be the new sexy skin . Could it be? Side boob the new cleavage? Somehow the side boob is sexy without being slutty. It’s suggestive without being too saucy. Celebrities have been spotted all over town letting their mammaries sneak out the side to catch some fresh air. I’m talking about good girls like Ann Hathaway and Lauren Conrad. I mean, it’s not like I’m using Lindsay Lohan as my moral compass. Even magazines have taken notice of this sneaky sideways trend and April’s covers are smattered with side boob.
This past weekend, I slipped into a new dress that was not exactly brassiere friendly. So, I snapped that baby right off and wore the dress sans support. When I gave myself a gander in the mirror, I wondered, “Is there such a thing as too much side boob?” Well, what could I do but take a quick poll on Twitter?:
Question: is there such a thing as too much side boob?
Uh, Dad, if you’re reading… I absolutely wore a sweater over this. When I arrived at my destination, there were a few more young children than I had anticipated so I did keep my arms mostly glued to my sides so as to avoid any awkward nursing attempts. What did everyone else think of my free flowing friends? The general consensus was positive. Both males and females commented on my peek-a-boo sideshow. Granted, I did get a couple of not so friendly glances from a few women, but I guess that’s to be expected. It seems that the side boob is also less offensive than the over the top push up cleavage of days yore.
So, now I ask you, my lovely WhyDid readers: Is “side boob” the new cleavage? And is there such a thing as too much?
The holidays and weeks leading up to them can really bring out the best in people. More often than not though, it brings out the worst. It seems like some of you completely forget what the season is all about and chuck your manners right out the window. Get it together, people.
Ugly Christmas sweater parties. This is kind of like an 80’s party to me. Why do you want to purposefully look bad when there are so many other fun things you could be wearing? Like sequins?
Speaking of which… SantaCon. You could traumatize a lot of little children. Do you want to live with that kind of guilt?
Jeffrey Campbell Lita boots. I don’t care how you try and spin it. These are ugly. Not to mention likely to result in a sprained ankle. And is looking like a clown on stilts really worth a hairline fracture?
Blue Christmas lights.
The Post Office. In general, but especially during the holiday rush. I have better things to do with the next two hours of my life…. but I’ll wait.