As I mentioned, Halloween can be a bit like New Year’s Eve. Many people get very into their costumery and a lot of those people happen to be couples. Being someone who normally loves a theme, I can’t explicitly identify why I’m less than enthusiastic about this year’s Hallow’s Eve, but I am. Rather than race around gathering the ingredients for the world’s most clever costume, I’ve, instead, assembled items I already own and have let them begin to take on a lives of their own. I’m calling it, “interpretive dressing.” When people ask me what I’m going to “be” (and they ask a lot), I simply shrug and let them know that remains to be seen.
But, back to those poor fellows being forced into theme in order to appease their lady beloveds. A guy friend of mine, was informed that not only would he be hosting a Halloween soiree, he’d need a costume. I suggested he go as a wrecking ball and his girlfriend could be Miley Cyrus. When he vetoed that, my next suggestion was to go rogue and dress up as a bumper car so as to take out his aggression as party proprietor.
The best $8 dollars I ever spent was during a recent trip to Home Goods with a friend of mine. We were on the search for a throw pillow or a tissue holder or some other household item that you never knew you needed (and probably don’t), but when I stumbled upon a Smitty sized turtle costume, mission was temporarily aborted and costume was acquired. Not long after at a French themed dinner party with my girlfriends, I told them of my purchase and one exclaimed, “Please tell me you’re going as a rabbit!” I hadn’t thought about it, but once she said it, I thought it was a pretty solid suggestion. Oh… except for one thing… Smitty is a dog. Sure, it would make for cute photos (who the hell is going to take them?), but upon exiting my home, I’d just be some chick in a bunny costume. Truth be told, I’ve brought out stranger “props” than a living animal and if I would ever get around to registering Smit as a service dog this would be a non-issue. But alas, my little turtle must stay in his shell. It’s entirely possible that dressing your dog is the new “cat lady,” but offering him a peanut butter chewbone in return for his services seems like a bargain compared to dealing with a human beau. (Several reasons why here). And honestly, is dressing your dog any worse than dressing your boyfriend in a coordinating denim ensemble?
Oh, and if you’re looking to make your own ears, check out my DIY here.
Photos by Michael Stiegler
As I sit here sorting out the sordid details for this upcoming Friday with friends amidst racking my brain for costume ideas that will prevent me from running around the city like a true life Halloween nightmare come Friday afternoon, it occurs to me that I have a real love/hate relationship with this so called “holiday.” While I love any excuse to dress up, craft a costume, and execute a theme, I loathe the overall emphasis placed on one sole evening. The sheer amount of pressure put upon crafting a costume that’s sexy but not slutty, creative but not crass, timeless but not trite can be downright daunting. Not to mention that the past several years for me have been the equivalent to not having a midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve (something I’m also all too familiar with). Last year, instead of spending the morning doing squats in anticipation of squeezing myself into spandex, I had a rather disruptive row with my then beau, but I probably did burn a few calories dodging inanimate objects and the crying left me looking like the walking dead. The year before that I had gotten dressed and even made it out the door before deciding to ditch after having spent twenty minutes in the unseasonable cold trying to catch a cab. And the year prior, I doused myself in fake blood to freak out the four trick or treaters who actually bothered to show up at our Silicon Valley doorstep. That’s why this year, rather than gunning for the blue ribbon for best in show, I’ll relegate the heavy lifting to creative accessories because heaven knows I own enough leotards, legwear, and lofty ideas to do just that. So, if you, too, are looking to avoid dropping dough on costumery crafted from potentially flammable fabric, try accenting something simple with bold accessories in the form of headbands, hats, or handbags. You could always make your very own lace bunny/cat/mouse ears (DIY tutorial here).
Erickson Beamon Stratosphere Ruthenium Plated Swarovski Crystal and Faux Pearl Hair Slides, $595, House of Holland The Bag of Tricks, $320, Piers Atkinson Bitten Cherries Crystal Embellished Headband $590, Jennifer Behr Floral Silk Lace Mask, $675
During the holidays and especially with New Year’s Eve quickly creeping ’round the corner, some of us look for ways to amp up our standard makeup routines for swanky evenings out on the town and special seasonal celebrations. Some may opt for the classic statement making bold lip (good choice) and others go for the more “Golden Girl” approach (also a great choice). But beauty beware: there is a big difference between glowing like the lights of Paris (the city, not the socialite) and glaring like the neon signs of Las Vegas. Let’s keep glitter where it belongs: on art projects, Halloween costumes and strippers. Strippers can wear glitter.
Come to think of it, a guy I was dating once showed up late one night after work, which should have been reason enough to dump him, but he was covered in glitter. Seeing as he doesn’t work at a Michael’s craft store, he must have procured his shimmering accents somewhere. Hanging out with another lady is bad enough but, hanging out with another lady who dons glitter is grounds for permanent exile. But I digress…
To achieve a glowing holiday look, invest in a few beauty products with flecks not flakes of shimmer in them. You could go for a dramatic foil for your lids, a metallic manicure or something as simple as adding some extra shine to your tresses. Be sure not to go overboard with your gilded look though. A gorgeous glow is one thing, but looking like a greased up walrus won’t get your dance card filled up any faster… if at all.
1. Caudalie Divine Legs, 2. ELLIS FAAS Light, 3. Ulta Metallic Automatic Eyeliner, 4. Kevyn Aucoin Set of Four Loose Shimmer Shadows, 5. Philip B Oud Royal Forever Shine Shampoo, 6. Ilia Gold Box Illuminator and Lip Gloss, 7. Formula X for Sephora Sparklers in Light My Fire, 8. Illamasqua Liquid Metal Cream, 9. RMS Beauty Living Luminzer, 10. Stila Magnificent Metals Foil Finish Eyeshadow, 11.Leighton Denny Hynotic Nail Polish
Halloween doesn’t have to be all about shimmying into synthetic fabric and trips to Ricky’s for costumes in a plastic bags. Rather than looking frightening or freaky, you could spend the night looking fashionable. An evening that’s meant to be about fantasy, this is your moment to beckon your inner seductress or that glamorous goth. While there is a (very) fine line between sexy and skanky, selecting streamlined pieces sans tulle, glitter, and excessive sequins will have you riding the high road instead of gallivanting in the gutter. Accessories with a bit of sparkle will add an extra bit of intrigue to any witchy woman.
Agent Provocateur Classic Satin Corset, Erickson Beamon Mistress Masquerade Gold Plated and Crystal Mask, Karl Lagerfeld Attens Crystal Embellished Leather Fingerless Gloves, Jennifer Behr Swarovski Crystal Spider Hair Slide
It’s true I rarely know what day of the week it is, let alone the actual calendar date, but as far as I’m aware, this past Saturday was not, in fact, Halloween. As I sipped on my pinot at a party in Soho wearing a sweater dress and over the knee socks, I watched the influx of costume clad cuties circle the room(s). Sure, there were moments when I had a tough time discerning who was actually dressed up and who was just abusing the right to wear spandex, but I was left wondering if I had missed the memo. I’m no party pooper, but I think it’s safe to say I’m officially old when the thought of dressing up for Halloween sends sheer panic rather than anticipation through my veins. Maybe it’s because I don’t need a specific holiday to look sexy or to wear lacy lingerie or maybe it’s because nearly every costume under the sun has been done. Or perhaps, and most likely, it has something to do with the fact that putting the word “sexy” in front of something, doesn’t actually make it sexy. And since it would seem that this year Halloween will be dragged out for the better part of a week, here’s a guide to what doesn’t fall under the umbrella of “sexy.”
- Pilgrims, Amish, and clergy- especially when impregnated.
- Most cartoon characters. With the exception of Jessica Rabbit, they are meant for children… and while your costume is small enough to fit a child, there is no correlation.
- Anything 80’s. Had it not been for French cut bathing suits and cocaine, I don’t think anyone would have had sex during that decade.
- Food in general. I tried to think of a food that might be considered sexy, but I don’t think dressing up as an aphrodisiac would even get me in the mood.
- Anything involving the words “gold” and “digger.” That’s a great way to send guys running… the other way.
- Certain animals were not mean to be sexy. Cats, yes. Squid, no. Bunnies, yes. Dolphins, no.
- Clowns. Never clowns. Ever.
- Anything involving scar tissue.
- Much like animals, not all occupations are sexy. A naughty nurse is one thing, but a playful plumber? Not so much.
- If it requires assistance when using the restroom, it’s too much and therefore, not sexy.