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The List Volume XXXVII

By |February 4th, 2011|The List|
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I wonder at times if someone has a voodoo doll with my face on it because the hits just keep on coming…

  1. Cantaloupe.  It’s bullshit filler fruit. Why do you insist on putting it in my fruit salad?
  2. Old people (the executive types) who keep trying to use “social media” but have no idea how to log onto Facebook.
  3. Celebrity perfumes. I do not, by any means want to smell like Halle Berry, Jennifer Anniston, or Britney Spears. Remember when actors just used to —act?
  4. The guy on the treadmill next to me boxing with the TV screen. Is that really necessary, sir?
  5. Camping.
  6. The buzz word “curated.”  Enough already.
  7. WHAT THE F*$^ are these?
  8. That big bootied celeb who complained about those (heavily photoshopped) photos in W. I can’t bring myself to say her name.
  9. People who are basically just waiting for you to stop talking so they can talk.
  10. Hosni Mubarak

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: Slave 4 Fashion

By |December 3rd, 2010|Celebrity Style|
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I mean I hate to kick a horse while she’s down… especially right after her birthday… but a crime against fashion is a crime against fashion. It’s no secret that I’ve never been a huge Brit Brit fan, but I was rooting for her comeback as much as the next girl. I, along with Elin Woods, understand the rage she felt when slamming into that car with an umbrella.

So, it pains me to see that her comeback was only a fleeting moment in time and she has resorted back to looking like this:

Oh, Brit. Where shall I begin? It seems like an oxymoron to have a shirt buttoned up to your chin while wearing shorts that the pockets are hanging out of. And… are those… BEDAZZLED UGGS? Ugh, is right. What do you get the girl who has everything this year for Christmas? Hopefully, a stylist.

don’t let me be the last to know…

xx,

WhyDid

Behind Every Fabulous Woman is an Even More Fabulous Gay Man

By |March 5th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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brit

It has been hypothesized that if Britney had had at least one gay in her life, the meltdown of  ’08 may have been avoided.  I tend to agree with this.  In my opinion, every great girl has got to have a great gay somewhere in her life.

Ever heard of Lady Gaga?  Oh, you have? Well, guess what.  She has a little something called the Haus of Gaga and it consists of a team of her best friends who are also responsible for all of her amazing/ridiculous outfits. Who wants to wager on their sexual orientation? Just saying…

Gawker did a little number on the gay/straight relationship and while there are some valid points, I don’t completely agree with it. Sounds like it was written by a bitchy queen who doesn’t value real friendship. I have been blessed to have one of the greatest gays I’ve ever met be a part of my life. He likes my boy drama and is always down for a little shopping trip- but that’s because he’s actually my friend. I listen to his boy drama too- and if he’s looking for a sequin blazer, I’m right by his side. But alas, they’re right about not trying to set up your gay. I wouldn’t even know where to begin (top? bottom?) and we often bicker about why each other’s prospective love interests SUCK.

That being said, there’s a plethora of reasons why girls need gays:

  • They will tell you if you look fat. I’ve always said that when it’s time to shop for wedding dresses, I’m bringing a gay man. They have nothing to gain/lose by telling you the truth. Once, while getting ready for a big event, my gay bff informed me that he, in fact, hated what I was about to walk out the door in. This caused an emergency wardrobe change. My clothes have never come off faster!
  • Speaking of changing, feel free to prance around in your pantaloons. He doesn’t care. When slipping out of my dress, we started hysterically laughing about his incredibly close proximity to my nipple.
  • Sleepovers!! It’s nice to have a man around the house. Especially one whose socks you don’t have to pick up. How nice is it to have some testosterone without having to worry about a knock at your “back door” in the morning?
  • Considering most gay men pride themselves on being well groomed, well, dressed, and all around good looking, they make for great arm candy. Don’t have a date to your upcoming function? Bring your gay bff. They look great in the photos and they’re probably a lot more fun on the dance floor than whatever suit you were planning on bringing.

Now, they aren’t like a handbag. A gay man is not an accessory and shouldn’t be treated as such.  Make sure you friendship is just that… a real relationship with someone who you care about. Basically, a gay man is the perfect hybrid between your best girlfriend and a boyfriend minus all the drama. I really can’t think of anything better. (Though the maltese/poodle hybrid is up there).

So what am I trying to say? Basically, Brit Brit wouldn’t have lost her shit shit if she’d had a gay compadre to reel her crazy ass in.

xx,

WhyDid

DSCN1664

Why Did You Wear That: All Aboard The Ugly Express. Choo! Choo!

By |February 18th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|
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200703

Dear Juicy Track Suit Wearer,

2001 called, they’d like their velour leisure suit back.

xx,

All of us

Seriously, if I see one more chick in the airport… or just in general… wearing a “track suit” as appropriate casual wear, I’m gonna flip. Like Carrie Underwood I just found out my man’s cheating kind of flip. I understand that we all want to be comfy when traveling (especially since not all of us are flying first class and sometimes get stuck in a middle seat sandwiched between two big’uns). Being comfortable does NOT mean that you need to look like you crawled out of a Pound Puppy factory.  Your warm and fuzzy jumpsuit isn’t giving anyone besides you the “warm and fuzzies.” And besides, do you really want the word “Juicy” written across your ass? Nothing about that sounds flattering.

Exhibits A, B, C, and D:

7.23.08-Eyes.Tracksuit

51K2BD361QL__AA280_Eva Longoria

tracksuit_fashion

Catching my drift? Remember when Paris Hilton used to live in these things? Do you want to have anything in common with P. Hil (besides her checking account)? Didn’t think so. So, to avoid any second hand embarrassment on my part, let’s get you into something comfortable AND stylish.

Now is one of those times where leggings (not worn as pants) might come in handy.  Layer some leggings with a long tunic and/or yummy cashmere sweater (it gets chilly on those planes). Put on some flat boots (They don’t have to be flat, mind you, I’m just going for comfort. Bravo to you if you want to wear heels) and you’re good to go. Here’s a visual:

 richie

(sans lace gloves, obvi. Chanel bag optional).

A few more options if this is still not clear for you:

jessicadll

 

She’s even making “jeggings” look cool.

travel

missoni1

The trick is layering. It gives you versatility and you can take on or off depending on temperature and comfort. This is an extreme example, but you get the point (I hope).

I’m about to make this REALLY easy for you…

travel outfit

So Low Long Leggings, $51, Nightcap Clothing Cashmere Poncho Scarf Sweater, $532, Wilt Hi Lo Tank, $86, Ash Pearl Over the Knee Boots, $323.40, Alexander Wang Daphne duffel bag, $623, Carrera Champion Sunglasses, $120

All available at shopbop.com

Bon voyage!

xx,

WhyDid

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