I wonder at times if someone has a voodoo doll with my face on it because the hits just keep on coming…
- Cantaloupe. It’s bullshit filler fruit. Why do you insist on putting it in my fruit salad?
- Old people (the executive types) who keep trying to use “social media” but have no idea how to log onto Facebook.
- Celebrity perfumes. I do not, by any means want to smell like Halle Berry, Jennifer Anniston, or Britney Spears. Remember when actors just used to —act?
- The guy on the treadmill next to me boxing with the TV screen. Is that really necessary, sir?
- The buzz word “curated.” Enough already.
- WHAT THE F*$^ are these?
- That big bootied celeb who complained about those (heavily photoshopped) photos in W. I can’t bring myself to say her name.
- People who are basically just waiting for you to stop talking so they can talk.
- Hosni Mubarak