I wonder at times if someone has a voodoo doll with my face on it because the hits just keep on coming…

  1. Cantaloupe.  It’s bullshit filler fruit. Why do you insist on putting it in my fruit salad?
  2. Old people (the executive types) who keep trying to use “social media” but have no idea how to log onto Facebook.
  3. Celebrity perfumes. I do not, by any means want to smell like Halle Berry, Jennifer Anniston, or Britney Spears. Remember when actors just used to —act?
  4. The guy on the treadmill next to me boxing with the TV screen. Is that really necessary, sir?
  5. Camping.
  6. The buzz word “curated.”  Enough already.
  7. WHAT THE F*$^ are these?
  8. That big bootied celeb who complained about those (heavily photoshopped) photos in W. I can’t bring myself to say her name.
  9. People who are basically just waiting for you to stop talking so they can talk.
  10. Hosni Mubarak