Oh sweet heaven above. Perhaps I’m just getting old, but I tuned into the MTV VMA pre-show because you know I love to blog about the oh so crazy fashion on the red carpet. However, after witnessing Justin Bieber arrive with a snake named “Johnson” followed by Nicki Minaj in another one of Lady Gaga’s rejected costumes, I couldn’t take much more. Then Katy Perry showed up with pink hair and Asian garb- complete with parasol- and I’d had enough. I needed to make a cocktail if I was going to attempt to sit through this shit storm. (Irene who?)

When I returned with a Bloody Mary, there was a very strange man performing “You And I.” Was I drunk on vodka fumes alone? Oh, it’s just Gaga.

You know who’s not drunk? Beyonce.

Now I’m gonna go finish my cocktail and if I have it in me will continue with red carpet commentary.

xx,
WhyDid

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The gorgeous and well groomed came out to strut their stuff down the red carpet for the MET Ball this evening.  Where most red carpets are a bit of a bore, the Costume Gala always proves to be  more interesting seeing as it is thrown by the fashion elite (you don’t see Anna Wintour at the Grammy’s).  Each year, the gala is themed and this year was “Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty.”  Talk about one hell of a week for McQueen creative director, Sarah Burton.  A royal wedding followed by the year’s biggest fashion fete.

Above Tory Burch and Taylor Swift (in J. Mendel) slipped into their red carpet best and while both look absolutely beautiful (thanks for ditching that side swept ‘do, Taylor!) they look uncomfortably similar.  These dresses look like they could have been cut from the same cloth (oh yes, pun intended).

Tory and Taylor weren’t the only lookalikes this evening.  Quite a few starlets, and style icons were seen wearing similar get ups.

Ginnifer Goodwin in custom Top Shop, Barbara Walters

Too easy.

Rosie Huntington Whiteley in Burberry, Brooklyn Decker in Michael Kors

Two blonde supermodels, one color. I love Rosie Huntington Whitely.  She’s absolutely beautiful and I do love Brooklyn’s dress.  I just wish they could have swapped outfits.

Kate Hudson in Stella McCartney, Jessica Alba in Ralph Lauren Collection

No, this is not season 4 of Teen Mom Goes to Prom.  These are just two very pregnant actresses dressed in prom gowns for the gala.

Dakota Fanning in Valentino, Fergie in Marchesa

Speaking of teens… why is Fergie dressed in the same outfit as seventeen year old Dakota Fanning (who is very much age appropriately dressed)?

Sarah Jessica Parker in Alexander McQueen, Renee Zellweger in Carolina Herrera, Gwyneth Paltrow in Stella McCartney

Seems that slinky metallics were all the rage for the over 40 set.  I can’t help but think these dresses look awfully similar to Anne Hathaway at the Golden Globes…

Freida Pinto in Chanel, Janelle Monae, Anna Dello Russo in Alexander McQueen and egg hat

Three perfect examples of why women should stick to womenswear and stay away from menswear.

Chrissy Teigen in Chris March, Beyonce in Emilio Pucci, Lucy Liu in Vionnet, Christina Hendricks in Carolina Herrera, Demi Moore in Prabal Gurung, Kirsten Dunst in Chanel

These six sexy black widows actually all ended up on my worst dressed list… just mere coincidence that they’re all in black.  Preparing for their fashion funeral perhaps?

Gisele Bunchden in Alexander McQueen, Dianna Agron in Michael Kors, Saorise Ronan in Rodarte, Kristen Stewart in Proenza Schouler, Emily Browning in Marc Jacobs

I’ve organized these ladies in red from “red hot” to “red not even kind of a little bit. uh uh.”

Diane Kruger in Jason Wu, Christina Ricci in Zac Posen, Bar Rafaeli, Ashley Greene in Donna Karan, Lily Aldridge in Ralph Lauren Collection, Leelee Sobieski in Vionnet

These six stunners got their red carpet looks right.  They are each wearing one of the above trends or themes that were so popular at this year’s MET, but they got it right rather than oh so wrong. These beauties were able to separate themselves from the savages.

xx,

WhyDid

Photos via JustJared & Huffington Post

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I mean, I’m about to start listing people by first name… But alas, I will save you the embarrassment.

1. Turtlenecks in summer. I don’t care if it doesn’t have sleeves or is a dress.
2. Girls with shitty hair who insist on growing it out. Know your role.
3. While on the subject, not everyone is meant to be blonde. (This goes double for those of you not genetically predisposed).
4. “Sunday Funday.” This couldn’t be more overused. It’s Sunday… guess what that means… Tomorrow’s Monday and everyone knows that’s not very fun.
5. Shit talkers. How’s your breath? No, seriously. How is it?
6. Guys who think the waitress wants to F&*#. She just wants a tip… and not the tip of your …
7. Waitresses who whore themselves out to guys drinking beer. They are not big spenders and I need a refill. Thanks.
8. Co-workers who throw out your lunch. Looks like I need my own Fridge Locker.
9. People who re-Tweet celebrities, verified accounts, horoscopes, and quotes. We get it, they said EXACTLY what you were thinking. Chances are we’re all following them too, so we don’t need you to re-Tweet their shit. Thanks.
10. YOU.

xx,

WhyDid

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This one hurts. Brace yourselves. Here are Beyonce and Jay-Z boarding a yacht in St. Tropez yesterday.

Let’s have a closer look… Good word. I mean, I’m not sure I even know what to say about this one. Nevermind, yes I do. Beyonce (BeyBey), Jay is NEVER supposed to look better than you. How is that even possible? You’re supposed to be the pretty one!

Ugh… I can’t look at this anymore. What do you guys think?

xx,

WhyDid

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Dear Rihanna,

First and foremost, I think you are exquisite. I remember seeing you on the rooftop of Soho House last summer and being stunned by your beauty. You truly are a gorgeous girl. Our entire group had to pick our chins up off our poolside bed/couch as you sashayed by.

That being said, dub tee eff is going on with your outfits? I get that you have your own “personal style” but it’s getting kind of offensive. You’re sort of channeling Taylor Momsen/Jenny Humphrey with your “I don’t give a f*#$” get ups. Guess where that got little J? Written off of Gossip Girl. So let me step in and stop you before someone decides to write you off.

I get it. You’ve had a rough go this past year. My heart goes out to you. I know firsthand what boy dbaggery looks/feels like. No one deserves that. However, looking like a crazy bag lady certainly isn’t the best revenge. Take a cue from Kim K strutting around looking hotter than ever in her bikini (suck on that, Reggie). Or go get a weave like I did!

Let’s take a look at some of the biggest offenders:

What the f*#%? What happened to this little cutie?

I mean, I can’t vouch for that belly chain, but you get what I’m saying.  Let’s go ahead and reel it back in. How about getting some of your girliness back? Remember when you were so hot and feminine that people were hypothesizing that Beyonce was getting nervous? Yeah, let’s get that RiRi back before we have to send you to fashion rehab.

Sending my love.

xx,

WhyDid

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