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WhyDid Wisdom: I Know What Boys Like

By |September 16th, 2014|Somethin for the fellas, Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

man filling out pollI have always tried to emphasize to my readers- because I know most of them are female and some of them are quite young- that taking pride in one’s appearance is certainly an extension of self worth, however, banking only on good looks is a serious gamble (hence, why I created Smart Is the New Pretty).  In tandem with primping and priming our exteriors we should also be grooming our interiors.  A shiny car is great until you slip inside only to find it full of garbage and leftover McDonald’s wrappers that even a Febreeze ad couldn’t cover up.  Sure, we’re careful about what we’re feeding our bodies (as we should be), but also being conscious of what we’re feeding our minds is what makes us complete packages.

I live in a city full of 400,000 more beautiful women than there are men.  Most people see only see Maybelline and Victoria’s Secret commercials on their television screens.  I’ve seen them in the flesh on more than one occasion, especially around February and September.  And even if you don’t live in a real time perfume ad, women all over the globe are constantly being bombarded by sexy sirens on TV, in magazines, and now even our Instagram feeds.  (Uh, belfies anyone?)  Here’s the thing: the women who stand out are the ones who can stand on their own.

Most of us still subscribe to women’s magazines or at the very least, “like” them on Facebook so as to have stories about losing those pesky extra five pounds, tips to make your man hot, and how to be basically perfect streaming into our lives on a regular basis.  Taking cues from Cosmo and other women who don’t know what men want any more than the rest of us seems like a case of the blind leading the blind.  I could tell you multiple tales of what not to do, but I decided to go straight to the source.  I asked actual men what they thought about certain things we wear and the qualities they find most desirable in women and the answers were pleasantly surprising.  Though they wouldn’t shock Susan Patton.

male modelsWhile this “study” couldn’t even come close to being considered “scientific” (although one of the classes I easily aced in college was chemistry), it does give a little insight into the male brain, which while complex is much more straightforward than our own female version.  To be perfectly transparent, my sampling really wasn’t that random.  It was a slightly homogenous mix made mostly of the men my friends and single ladies I know would like to date and probably pine over between sips of pinot on lonely Thursday nights.  They are the guys who would delight your parents should you show up to Thanksgiving dinner with one of them rather than that terrible ex of yours from college who only wore fleece vests and pleated chinos.  You know, the one who gave your younger brother an unsolicited course in the birds and bees after insulting your mother’s candied yams.  My pool of respondents are educated, successful, and worldly- not to mention handsome.  I suppose I also could have asked guys who frequent nightclubs because I know those guys too, but I don’t have their email addresses.  I can’t even be sure they have email or know what email is.  In any case, I compiled a questionnaire consisting of ten questions that can only begin to scratch the surface of what makes men tick.

When asked about their favorite outfit on a woman…

As I’ve often said, “Keep it simple, stupid,” or K.I.S.S.  This holds true for business and personal matters as well as your wardrobe.  Though answers to this question garnered some pretty scattered results including fitted jumpsuits, lace, sneakers with skirts, maxi dresses, and rompers (which were, ironically, listed as something we should stop wearing- but we’ll get to that), the answer that kept popping up included a variation of white tank/tee and jeans/jean shorts (here is an example of keeping it simple).  So, basically, your drop crotch Hammer pants and ruffled crop top are best left to be worn on a night out with the girls because your beau either did not notice, does not care, and as one of my respondents replied, is turned off by your wearing of labels.  Two other honorable mentions were the cult favorite, yoga pants, and his old t-shirt with a pair of boyshorts.

blue jeans white shirtAnd what we should stop wearing…

Animal print may be a continuing trend for fall, but don’t expect a man to fall for you when draped in pelts.  Sadly, many of the answers to this question happen to be some of our, as women, favorite trends.  As a matter of fact, many of the answers dealt with men’s distaste for women following fashion trends too closely.  The “arm parties” (can we stop calling them that yet?) that we so love are driving men crazy and not in a good way.  All of the clanking is not only creating an imbalance in arm strength for you, but also distracting and annoying him.  Wearing things that don’t fit your body (I have rephrased the answer much more eloquently than its initial iteration) and showing too much skin, namely cleavage are surefire ways to end a date early.  And that bit of underwear showing?  They hate that too but, don’t think that high waisted anything is going to be the cure all.  Last but not least, they may love you in jeans, but definitely not boyfriend jeans.

leopard-coatSo, who do they consider to be style icons?

Sorry, Miley Cyrus, men seem to be immune to your raunchy high cut leotards (not to mention antics) and Katy Perry’s cupcake cleavage seems to be lost on the male species.  As a matter of fact, one of the only young A-listers to be mentioned was Taylor Swift.  It would appear that most men who answered tend to favor classic (and covered up) beauties like Sophia Loren and Grace Kelly.  Other responses included Jackie Kennedy O’Nassis, Audrey Hepburn, Charlize Theron, Olivia Palermo, and the great Kate Moss.

audrey hepburn sophia loren grace kellyAnd regarding makeup: Done up or au naturale?

Save yourself some time and trouble when getting ready by paring back on the effort spent spackling your face in the bathroom mirror.  Though a few of the respondents preferred completely natural, most preferred makeup that looked natural, emphasizing your God given beauty, but not masking it with thick foundation and crazy eye colors.

Do they notice and/or care about our manicures and pedicures?  What about that leg stubble?

Sadly, and I can speak from experience, men do pay attention to details when it comes to our fingers, toes, and the limbs in between.  One respondent summed it quite well with, “It is the overall impression of being ‘together’ not any one particular aspect.”  Others said they notice, but would never comment on chipped nails or an unsavory shade choice.  As for unshaven legs, they were a bit more vocal.  Having a bit of blonde fuzz on or around your knees wasn’t a big deal so long as it didn’t imply that other regions may be overgrown as well.

whydid manicureWhat makes a woman attractive?

The beauty industry is $400 billion dollar industry globally.  We spend hundreds of dollars a month on creams that will rid of us wrinkles, painful procedures to banish unwanted hair, and makeup that guarantees to cover up any minor imperfection. If you need a grooming kit for unwanted hair or beard oils visit www.instash.com. But what is it that really makes a woman attractive? Turns out, it’s not solely long lashes, flawless skin, or toned thighs.  What do men find most attractive in a woman?  Sorry beauty industry, but it’s brains.  From having a job and her own interests to a strong yoga practice and spirituality, it seems men are more interested in women who have their heads on straight.  Men find women who are interesting attractive.

On what makes a woman interesting…

Much like what makes a woman attractive, the most succinct answer was, “Her brain,” and that response was echoed and elaborated on time and time again.  Having a positive attitude, a sly smile, the ability to hold a decent conversation with well thought out opinions, and confidence were just a few.  A woman who has traveled on her own, can navigate a city solo, possesses her own style, and has something to add to a conversation or is able to teach others also makes her swoon worthy.  Having a little bit of “fire” doesn’t hurt either.

And what makes for a total dealbreaker…

We all have our dealbreakers when it comes to dating and mating.  These are the quirks that can’t casually be overlooked and just deemed cute.  While mine include things like lacking self awareness and wearing sports jerseys, men had some very specific responses to this one.  Interestingly, as one respondent pointed out, “Each [sic] woman is unique.  Something that is awesome about girl A could be a huge turn off for girl B.”  So, while one man’s dealbreaker may be another man’s aphrodisiac, here are some of the more interesting answers and it’s probably best to just bullet point these:

  • Drugs
  • Flirting extraneously
  • Wearing labels
  • Saying “like” too much
  • Seeing her read a celebrity mag
  • If she’s a bad kisser
  • Inability to manage money
  • Not having command of they’re/ their/ there and you’re/ your
  • Lack of common sense
  • Being outspoken with a low quotient for relevant and interesting content
  • No awareness of current events
  • Using “hahahaha” and “lol” in texts

One thing men wished women knew about them…

This question held some of the most valuable information in my opinion.  One gentleman wanted us to know that men aren’t as tough as we think they are and they stress about work and their need to provide.  Another added that they don’t think nearly as much as we do… about anything.  One pointed out that threats, ultimatums, and games aren’t effective because social media and apps like Tinder have leveled the playing field (Ouch!).  To soften that last blow, one response was, “Real men prefer a woman who values herself enough to be ‘hard to get.'”  Follow that up with, “Women please, as long as you’re being insane in your body desires, please, please, please move towards Misty Copeland and away from models/women who look like prepubescent boys.”  My favorite response came in the form of a video (below) and much like my YouTube experiences of getting sucked into hours of puppies, I watched several more videos by the same man, Mark Gungor (this one was life changing).

And luckily, men do know the difference between leggings and pants…

  • Leggings are just a single piece of fabric. kinda like thick tights. pants have some kind of discernible feature (pockets, zippers, etc)
  • Leggings are incredible for any situation but if we are going out to eat or somewhere special throw a pair of pants on please. Preferably leather pants.
  • I’m probably wrong but:  I feel leggings are tighter and comprised of a stretchy material.  Pants can also be tight, and stretchy, but not as stretchy as leggings.  I also feel like pants have seams and leggings may or may not.

 

xx,

WhyDid

 

Friday Frocks: Shifty Little Lady

By |March 25th, 2011|Friday Frocks, Why Did You Wear That?|

A “mini” history lesson today.  A shift dress is a simple, short silhouette accented by darts on the front bust and a straight or slightly A-line hem.  The neckline is typically either a high boatneck or crewneck and there is no definition at the waist.   This very simple shift was first credited to Hubert de Givenchy as he designed most of Audrey Hepburn’s wardrobe- including that oh so iconic black shift she wore in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The dress was later made popular by Lilly Pullitzer when she wore the dress while selling fresh squeezed fruit juice (I’m not kidding) roadside in Palm Beach, Florida.  The image that comes to my mind, however, is Twiggy in a shift dress.  She was hired at 16 to model the shape for Mary Quant who had shortened the hemline to about six inches above the knee.

Despite the simplicity of this shape, it doesn’t work for every body.  Bigger busted ladies may have a harder time slipping into this shift.  It works best on boyish figures and is a fantastic choice for you ladies with great gams.

1. Rogan for Target Leopard Print Shift Dress, $39.99, 2. Missoni Paneled Zig Zag Knit Shift Dress, $1,600, 3. Ali Ro Stripe Knit Shift Dress, $206, 4. J. Crew Cotton Blend Shift Dress, $120, 5. Thakoon for Target Colorblock Shift Dress, $39.99, 6. Tibi Zip Back Ponte Shift Dress, $293, 7. Free People Colorblock Shift Dress, $138, 8. Milly Maggie Shift Dress, $370, 9. Jenni Kayne Zip Front Shift Dress, $595, 10. Michael Kors Leather Trim A-Line Canvas Shift  Dress, $1,495

xx,

WhyDid

 

Photo via Cemetarian

Why Did You Wear That: Celebrity Weekend Style

By |November 22nd, 2010|Celebrity Style|

Woops… I guess that’s the sign of a good weekend. Here’s this week’s top five best dressed ladies off duty… meaning, not a stylist in sight.

  1. Here’s Charlize Theron doing some shopping in NYC, looking totally cute and casual.
  2. Ashlee Simpson Wentz is one hot mama. Sporting a slouchy sweater, leather leggings, and some vintage Chanel earrings, you’d never know she’s popped out a little one.
  3. Kirsten Dunst looks effortlessly chic in her shades, shift, and sweater in Los Angeles.
  4. Megan Fox has paired masculine and feminine with ease. Men’s trousers have never looked so sexy.
  5. Rumer Willis shows you how flats are supposed to be done. She looks very Audrey Hepburn in this simple yet chic outfit.

Good work ladies. You make looking casual seem so easy.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: A Sign of the Times

By |February 11th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

Voodoo Dolls - LargeOh, I’m sorry, does someone have a voodoo doll with my name on it?  I mean, I’m just wondering since I recently discovered the world’s worst invention- EVER.  Obviously, someone just wants to make me suffer from severe fits of anxiety.  Basically, if leggings as pants and True Religions got together and had a baby it would be this:

side_shot

logo

Oh, you think I’m kidding? I wish:

Are you f’ing kidding me??  It’s the spawn of satan.  Are you SO lazy that you actually need your jeans and your pajamas to be one in the same?  Do you mean to tell me that you didn’t even bother to shower after rolling out of bed this morning? I mean, what’s the point? You’re obviously already dressed! To me, this is a sign of how lazy and impatient our society has become.  What happened to taking pride in our appearance? This is just encouraging people to continue stuffing their faces (these puppies stretch, after all) and not care how the rest of the world perceives them. Remember this lady?

grace-kelly-1

No? How about her?

Audrey-Hepburn-wcute-dogThey are rolling over somewhere in their graves. No proper lady would ever wear synthetic fake jeans to sleep in and then wear them out in public.  So why would you? Just saying…

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Spotlight: It’s JUNE All Year

By |October 10th, 2009|Why Did You Wear That?|

As you know, a leather jacket is one of my Fall Essentials.  So I decided to go the master of cool when it comes to leather jackets, Pablo Pantoja.  He is the creative force behind the ultra chic women’s contemporary line, JUNE.

How did you get started with the line?:

I had been designing menswear since I got out of Otis/Parson’s School of Design.  I never wanted to do womenswear. It was more selfish. I wanted to make clothes I can never find, but once I had all I wanted, I got bored. I finished my men’s career designing all of the jackets and leather for men at Kenneth Cole. It was fun and I loved working with him, but the line got repetitive and it was time to move on.

Womenswear gave me a whole new challenge. Everything changed.  Fit, artistic license, choices, themes, and women are just so much more into designs than straight men are (myself excluded).

After leaving Kenneth Cole, I wanted to do some sort of licensing deal with a women’s brand, and out of nowhere J-Lo (Jennifer Lopez) came to me and asked me to put together something for Jennifer. I put together presentation boards and met with her in Westwood, LA in her offices three days before her wedding to Chris, the dance. She is more beautiful and harder working than you can even imagine. Three days before her wedding? A four hour workout and dance practice, meet with me at 1pm and who knows what else? So, eventually after meeting with her again three days after her wedding in The Four Seasons Milan, on her honeymoon, while she was sick from a cold, no less. She is an inspiration to me in that sense.

Finally after months of work and development of samples, the J-LO company, Sweetface Fashions, decided to just run a lower priced line and it didn’t match with our plans… but from that long winded story, I got the bug to do my own women’s contemporary collection!  So in the evenings and late into the night, I was putting together my own designs for a collection to pair up with a friend of mine that was also looking for something new. Et voila! Time to start my own collection!

Where do you get inspiration for your designs?:

I usually start my concepts by walking around and shopping, going out and seeing real people and what they are wearing. If something is too much, I stay away. If I see something I’ve never seen before and see it again suddenly, it’s something I pay attention to. From there, I develop my concepts. The concepts usually have something that has to with JUNE, the month. A famous person’s birthday, or an event that occurred fifty to 100 years ago in the month of June, or just flowers and friendship. Always something that happened in JUNE though. It’s such a memorable type of month. Filled with moments we cherish for years to come, so I work with that in my head the whole time.

What is the JUNE girl like?:

A JUNE girl is a friend of mine. Someone whose company I enjoy.  She’s fun, adventurous and into expressing herself and her opinions. She may be a Banana Republic girl in her office, but she isn’t that girl inside.  She needs to be more comfortable, which is my first requirement, but not my last. She is smarter than the average girl and she seeks more, sees more, and finds the beauty in the details.

The JUNE girl is not the one that shows off how much money she has, but how much style she embodies.

Who would you love to see wearing JUNE?:

J-LO just for the irony of it! Haha! But seriously? All of my GF’s, or is it BF’s, or BGF’s around the world that inspire me and fill my life with joy and happiness and all of their friends, and their friends’ friends, and so on and so on. Yup, that would be nice. It would be like Facebook, but only in clothing.  You would know we are all connected by what we are wearing! Hmm… a JUNE fashion social network?

What is your favorite thing to see on a woman?:

Confidence, intelligence and humor.  These are the things I see in her eyes, her smile, and her face. The rest is just a result of what’s going on upstairs. If you were asking about what I like about the body or clothing, I’d have to say the skin.  I work with leather, after all. Nothing but skin and silk linings, of course.

What trend do you wish would just go away?:

Skinny jeans on 95% of the guys that wear them, but for girls? I like freedom of expression and individuality, so the lack of freedom of following a trend is what I would like to disappear.  If you are following a trend, you are not a leader, just a follower. Don’t dress like everyone else.  Don’t follow the trend.  Know what you like, and knowing how to wear it is the most important.  Do it so well that people see you and want to dress like you.  That’s what got me started as a designer. Back in highschool anything I wore would eventually be copied by my peers.  It’s the best form of flattery.

Style advice for women?:

Simplicity with your overall appearance so you don’t come off as garish.  And focus on details and accessorize! Don’t be a billboard for any designer or brand unless they are paying you or give you the clothes. Wear what expresses your individuality, feel confident about it, and most of all, smile. There’s no makeup or clothing that will fix a sad look, easier than a beautiful smile.  (New Yorkers will think you’re crazy, but like I said, I don’t care what people think!)

Gossip Girl- Serena or Blair?:

Sorry, never seen the show or know who they are.  I did see the posters announcing the show though. Whoever wears my clothes… both of them? Can I make like Palin and “get back to you on that?”

Favorite place to travel?:

Brazil, any city! All over Europe and staying with friends I’ve made over the years, and China because it’s such a culturally rich country with massive potential.  Then most of all, back home to Souther California where my family is.

Any funny stories regarding the brand? Seeing someone wearing it? Being recognized, etc?:

The first season I put my collection together, it was from the work I did developing the J-LO collection.  Ironically, one of the garments I made ended up in US Weekly in a spread called 10 Best Essential Items of the Year.  My little fur vest, which Jennifer, herself, called the “Glam Vest,” which I re-did for my line, was right there, exactly next to a photo of J-LO!   Somehow the magazine got the name from our linesheets and there it was. They wrote Glam Fur Vest by JUNE.

Do you think you’ll expand into mens again?:

I don’t think so, not in the near future. I see the brand having more meaning as June Swim, June Babies and of course, June Wedding.

Who is your style icon?:

I don’t think there are many these days. There’s too many starlets to keep track of.  I don’t read many of those magazines about stars so I don’t follow what’s happening on the Red Carpet.  I don’t do evening wear, so I choose to be inspired by the people I associate with.  Maybe when I am hanging with those Icons, I will pay more attention, but I did get to escort Audrey Hepburn when I was in Otis/Parson’s at my fashion show.  The department head told me I would be escorting her.  So I walked with her holding her arm in mine, for a little while, from table to table, as she said “hi” to all the other stars.  She would ask me if I was excited about the show, what year I was…  and then finally, I seated her at her table.  All of my friends wanted to touch my arm because I just was with Audrey, and I asked them… “Who’s Audrey Hepburn? Who is she?  Katherine Hepburn’s sister?!”  The next day someone brought me an old picture of her, and I freaked out.  I never knew her name, but had seen her before, I loved her style, but wasn’t really into old movies when I was a kid.

What’s something that every woman should own?:

I could get into so much trouble with this question, so I will keep it simple. A leather jacket that expresses the feminine and masculine side of her.

Very wise advice, Pablo. Below is a sneak preview of his Spring 2010 collection.  Check out their website for more details about where to buy!

 

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