What Are You Hiding?

By |August 25th, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?|


Yesterday on the drive to work, we tuned into the Ryan Seacrest show. The topic for this particular morning was a woman who had been dating a man for over a year and had yet to ever see his home. Um? He told her that he was fixing it up and remodeling it but did not want her to see it until it was totally perfect. Um?

They tried to trick him by calling and telling him he’d won free flowers and they could send the flowers to anyone he’d like. He requested to have them sent to the girl who called in with her concerns. Hm… So what was going on?

I mean, Ryan almost lost his %^&$ on this guy and I was right there with him. It just doesn’t make any sense as to why his “girlfriend” would not be permitted to see his home. It’s been over a YEAR. The gentleman insisted that he is just a very “private” person. Why this young lady was tolerating the situation is so far beyond me. Not only would I have not been okay with this, my antennas would have gone up. Does she have no access to a computer? A little internet stalking sure would do her some good. A couple swipes through Google, Twitter, and Facebook and she would have cracked the case by now. If all else failed, why would she not have just followed him “home” one day?

After a bit, Ryan opened up the phone lines to take some calls from listeners. One guy called in and said that obviously the man is cheating. Another woman called to say she had been through something very similar and lo and behold, the man was married. Finally, another woman called in and said she was in the SAME situation and that it was totally okay. What? %*^$!!??

This got me to wondering WHY on earth women tolerate such things? How desperate must you be to accept such crappy excuses? What do you guys think?

My vote? He’s a sociopath who lives in a meth lab with his mother and wife (which is obviously totally normal).



Why Did You Date Him: Let’s Just Be Friends

By |August 17th, 2010|Somethin for the fellas, Why Did You Date Him?|


Oh dating. Aren’t you fun? I mean, as bad as you suck for us ladies… you must really suck for guys. Hey fellas, how many times have you heard, “I really like you… as a friend“? What the *#%#?

After countless dinners, flowers, opening doors, and sweet nothings… you get just that: Nothing. So, what is it that takes a guy from “just a friend” to “my future baby’s daddy”?

  • Sad as it is, we love bad boys. I discussed this with our fantastic interns today. They are seniors at USC and still lovin’ those boys you wouldn’t take home to mama. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a gentleman, but there’s a fine line between gentile and doormat. Tread lightly.
  • Just like girls can be overzealous and clingy, guys can be too. You know how much you like that cat and mouse game of playing hard to get? We like it too. Don’t blow up my inbox and don’t keep calling til I answer.
  • “Going Dutch.” (Also know as being a cheap @**hole). If you split the bill, she’s gonna split. Period. Done. Goodbye.
  • If you share a bed and there is no type of contact, she now thinks of you like her gay bff. As far as she’s concerned… you’re gay (and there’s NO coming back from that). We get you’re trying to be polite, but at least attempt to cop a feel.
  • Talking about “your feelings.” That’s our job. Stop trying to steal the show. Shut up and crush a beer can on your head.
  • Wearing more makeup or hair products than we do. Um,  yeah… We don’t like to share our mascara (it’s unsanitary).
  • Do not under any circumstances, high five me, chest bump me, or “pound fists” with me.

By avoiding all of the above, you may actually have a shot in hell with the lady of your dreams. Check, please!



Love is a Choice.

By |August 11th, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?|


A few months ago, my father sent me an article from the Jewish publication, Aish.com. He sends me a lot of things during the week to ponder, but this one especially resonated with me. As you may be aware, I was not exactly having the best time dating or meeting the right type of guy. I had just undergone a hell of a heartbreak and had basically sworn off true love and  marriage. I resorted to telling myself I would adopt some sweet needing baby when the time came.

After reading the article, it became clear to me that my focus and ideas about love had been totally off. Movies and TV have skewed what “love” is. We believe it is some sort of magical moment that happens and suddenly we just “know” this is “it.”

This is how many people approach a relationship. Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation (based on physical and emotional attraction) that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic “just isn’t there” anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.

Perhaps this is why our divorce rate is as high as it is? People are falling in love with the idea of love. The grandiose, romanticized movie kind of love (which just does not exist, my friends). When our grandparents and even some of our parents got married, they held that vow as something sacred. They chose that other person to be their mate, their partner, their rock.

Because deep, intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but over time — which nearly always means after marriage. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry, and anticipation. These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife give more and more to each other.

I’m not suggesting that love is not a feeling. I do believe, however, that love is a feeling coupled with a choice. Perhaps reading those fairytales as children may not have been the best idea. We’ve tricked ourselves into being lazy about love. We think that it’s something that should just “happen” to us. In reality, love and relationships take constant maintenance just like your car or home. Love is a choice we make.

I sent that article to as many of my friends as I could in hopes that it would speak to them the way it has with me and now I’m sharing it with you. Since receiving this… I must say my love outlook has certainly taken a positive turn.



from “HEAD TO HEART” by Gila Manolson

The Bachelorette: Hangover Edition

By |August 4th, 2010|Uncategorized, Why Did You Date Him?|


So now that we’ve all recovered from The Bachelorette Season Finale on Monday night, let’s dissect it. I mean, we all knew she was going to pick Roberto from the get go, so who are we kidding? Those “choosing single” rumors were merely cover up for the blatantly obvious choice. Besides, there was no way in hell a girl like Ali was going to choose being alone.

Of the past 17 seasons, only two couples have actually wed (Trista and Ryan and Jason and Molly – not the original pick, FYI), so this would lead me to believe that there is a common thread here. I mean, despite the fact that 85% of these people are just trying to become famous or further their careers, the entire season is taped over the course of a mere three weeks! Who the HELL falls in love that fast?


Well, the good folks over at ABC have cracked the code on how scientifically people fall in love (and have fully exploited it). By putting said bachelors and bachelorettes in extremely romantic locations and and forcing them to do things like jump out of helicopters and go for hot air balloon rides (which I have done and have plenty to say about it- more on this later) they are tricking their brains into feeling love. Don’t believe me?

Adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin are all released when the brain experiences the first love pangs (also known as attraction). All of these chemicals being released actually change the way people’s brains work. During this beginning stage of love, couples tend to be “blind” and exalt their relationship. All of this happens before actual attachment has even occurred. Meaning, that while these people may have very strong initial feelings for one another, these could easily wear off and suddenly they awake with a love hangover.

So, I will wish my best to Ali and Roberto, but let’s see how they do after spending some time doing “real life.” All the boring mundane things that life is actually made of. Let me know how much you like Roberto after picking up his dirty gym socks for a few weeks.



Why Did You Date Him: Samantha Who?

By |July 28th, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?|


As I sit here with a dog on my left, cat on my right, Deluscious cookie wrappers strewn about and watching Sex and the City DVD’s (I’m PMS’ing, don’t judge me), I started thinking about our dear friend, Samantha.

We all love to think that we’ve got a little Samantha in us.  Unfortunately, I don’t know that that’s true.

After years of playing cat and mouse with a guy, I finally agreed to clear my schedule and make it a date. No friends as bodyguards, no BS, no games.  After dinner I decided to Summit Escorts my fellow back to his hotel and allow whatever was meant to happen happen. I told myself it was totally fine and braced myself for emotional impact. During the deed, I caught myself thinking, “Is this okay?” When it was all said and done and he went to the restroom, I put my clothes on faster than a wardrobe change backstage during fashion week. When he came back and I was buckling my shoes he was startled and told me he’d like me to stay, but I was out of there like a bat out of hell.

On the way home, I thought about what had just happened. I had gone into it thinking that I didn’t care. I hadn’t cared about this guy for all the time that he had been pursuing me, so WHY all of a sudden did I care? Why is it, that women can not sleep around the way that men can? I know that a lot of women like to pretend that they can have sex with no feelings, but I really just don’t buy it. I just believe that women are wired much, much differently than men.

What do you think? Can women have sex like men? Void of feelings and commitment? Or is there a deeper lying issue here?