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The List Volume XXVII

By |November 12th, 2010|The List|
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Have no fear, people. I will never let you down with the list.This week is a dedicated edition to break ups. They are hard, we know. Here are the ten things you need to do IMMEDIATELY upon breaking up to avoid any prolonging of pain for either party:

  1. Change relationship status on Facebook.
  2. Unfriend on Facebook/Unfollow on Twitter. You may as well do this while having the break up talk.
  3. Untag all pictures of the two of you looking blissful.
  4. Unfriend any of his/her friends that came as part of the package deal.
  5. Delete all electronic evidence of a former relationship: pictures, emails, voicemails, text messages, phone number, etc.
  6. Delete all physical evidence of a former relationship: clothing, beauty products, cards, letters, pictures, “mementos”, hair ties, etc.
  7. Cancel any pending plans: trips, plane tickets, outings.
  8. Return anything of value that may have been left as residual (COD, of course).
  9. If breakup is particularly ugly or protracted, implement blocks on Facebook, Twitter, phone, email.
  10. Remember there was a reason (or many) you took steps 1-9. Don’t look back.

Enjoy being single!

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXVI

By |November 5th, 2010|The List|
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Let’s just get back to the basics, folks. Ready. Set. Go.

  1. Ultimatums. They never work.
  2. Lauren Conrad and her “style” book. I can’t. There is nothing original about dark skinny jeans and ruffled LBD’s. I’m sorry (no I’m not).
  3. Boys in berets. They are meant for mimes, and French girls.
  4. Amateurs posing as professionals.
  5. People who feel the need to discuss their political views via social networks. This goes double for those who are uneducated.
  6. Men wearing UGGs. I’m confused. You must be too.
  7. Forget 16 and Pregnant… I have a problem with the show I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. HOW? How did you not know?
  8. Stretch Hummer limos (bonus points if it’s white, triple points if you aren’t on your way to senior prom or a bachelorette party). Stop. It.
  9. Bloggers who can’t spell. I understand a type-o here and there. Happens to the best of us… but it’s called f*#8ing SPELL CHECK. See that red squiggly line?
  10. People who partake in strange behavior on airplanes. This includes but is not limited to: eating pickled eggs, painting nails, and wearing disguises.

Ugh. I need a drink.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXV

By |October 29th, 2010|The List|
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Oh it’s that time of year again.  The time of year that women exploit their sexuality. I love costumes. I love themes. I hate brainless costumes. I hate cliches. Come on, you had all year to come up with something good and you opted for a slutty bumblebee?  Here’s ten costumes I BETTER not see this weekend:

  1. Lady Gaga. In any way, shape, or form.
  2. Hooters girl. It wasn’t funny the first time. Guess what? It still isn’t funny.
  3. Anyone from the Jersey Shore. Make it stop.
  4. Anyone from Glee. No one’s gonna know who you are anyway.
  5. This thing:
  6. Anything from Twilight. I mean, haven’t we had ENOUGH?
  7. Any costume that came in a plastic bag or from Ricky’s. Use your noggin.
  8. A slutty nurse/taxi driver/school girl/ballerina/red riding hood/Tinkerbell/firefighter/toaster/martini. Basically anything that requires the word “sexy” in front of it.
  9. The Kardashians.
  10. Chilean miners. Too soon.

Happy haunting, bitches.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXIV

By |October 22nd, 2010|The List|
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This week I had the pleasure of heading back to my favorite city, New York City. Being here has made me realize there is certainly a reason (or at least ten) it trumps anywhere else (ahem- talking to you Los Angeles). Here’s a shortened list of all the reasons I love NY (and you should too):

  1. A pair of fake boobs won’t get you too far.
  2. When you ask people a question here, they actually know what they’re talking about. If they don’t know the answer, they’ll tell you as opposed to blowing smoke up you’re a**.
  3. A mass transit system that is efficient and people actually use it.
  4. You can get anything you want. Anytime. Anywhere.
  5. No need for a car. Consider taxi drivers your personal chauffeurs.
  6. Women here are naturally beautiful… and smart.
  7. The fashion. The clothes. The shopping. People don’t look like rejects from Millionaire Matchmaker.
  8. There is a sense of camaraderie. They may hate those from the “bridge and tunnel”  set, but they sure do love each other.
  9. Culture. There’s art, museums, theater, and history. 
  10. People in NY know what they want. There’s no changing your mind when you get the front of the line at Starbucks.

All hail the Big Apple.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXIII

By |October 15th, 2010|The List|
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I mean, there aren’t enough hours in the day for the annoyances that have shown up on my doorstep this week…

  1. Los Angeles.
  2. This onslaught of hot young actresses in “mom” jeans.
  3. The Real Housewives of DC. I hope there is not a second season.
  4. Ashlee Simpson’s new ‘do. Though her baby’s awfully cute.ashlee-simpson-new-blonde-pixie-bob-hairstyle-240bes101310
  5. WordPress… no, I didn’t need that last draft. No, seriously… it’s fine.
  6. Cat vomit. Thanks, Fluff.
  7. People who blatantly copy WhyDid and people who steal my gays. I mean I can’t.
  8. Zoe Saldana’s Calvin Klein commercial. It makes me really uncomfortable.
  9. People who can not just be happy for others. I do not need your lecture. Just smack me five and let’s move on.
  10. Jessica Simpson… just for good measure.

Luckily, I’m blonde… otherwise you’d be giving me grey hair.

xx,

WhyDid

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