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Why Did You Wear That: Just When I Thought It Couldn’t Get Any Worse

By |March 17th, 2009|Somethin for the fellas, Why Did You Wear That?|
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Dear sweet lord…. tell me this isn’t happening.

man-leggings

Has my worst nightmare just multiplied by a billion? Men…in…leggings?  This has got to be some sort of sick joke the fashion world is playing, right?  My friend sent me a link this morning that has confirmed my biggest fears.  Apparently, several designers sent men in leggings down the runways.  Weren’t skinny jeans enough for you?  I mean, that was pushing it, but leggings???

man-leggings3

Men of the world, I beg of you, please do not fall victim to this trend.  There is nothing sexy about this.  Chicks will not dig this.  You will not appear fashion forward or trendy.  Let women worry about panty lines and no pockets.  There are some things men and women just should not share.  Leggings happen to be one of them.

xx,

WhyDid

We’re All Bitches

By |March 13th, 2009|Somethin for the fellas, Uncategorized, Why Did You Date Him?|
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(Please note, this post is for you ladies as well.  For you, “They’re All Dogs” is the title.)

New York is a city full of millions of people and while you may be surrounded by hundreds of people at any given moment, sometimes you still feel completely alone.  Hence, this brings up the question, “Should I get a girlfriend or a dog?” (My friend, swear to you, just asked me this five minutes ago).

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Nine times out of ten, I am going to go with the dog.  I may be slightly biased because I happen to have the most awesome dog on the planet, but I do have reasoning to back up my vote for the dog.

  • They can’t talk- or talk back. (Barking does not count- annoying as it may be at times).
  • Buying your furry bitch a shirt from Trixie and Peanut is far cheaper than buying your unfurry (hopefully) bitch a shirt from Prada.
  • Unconditional love. Period. End of story.  They do not care if you look like crap, you smell funky, or you didn’t email them enough today at work.
  • They always want to cuddle and you don’t have to suffer through a round of jack rabbit sex to get a good snuggle.
  • No matter what time you get home, they are ALWAYS psyched to see you.  Rather than your gf (bf) tapping her (his) foot when you stroll (stumble) in at 4am.
  • Beneful is a hell of a lot cheaper than a meal at Nobu.
  • They are incredibly loyal.  Your dog is not going to cheat on you, leave you for a new owner, or run off to Vegas for the weekend.
  • Honestly, at the end of the day, I would much rather clean up literal shit than figurative shit.

So there you have it.  Now get to the local animal shelter and adopt yourself the ultimate companion.

xx,

WhyDid

That’s What HE Said….

By |January 12th, 2009|Somethin for the fellas|
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I often think that a lot of women are dressing for the wrong reasons. Yes, that’s right. (I mean besides avoiding public nudity- which I see no problem with).

A lot of women seem to be getting dressed for other women. Which is fine, I guess. I would just think that when a woman spends 3.5 hours primping in front of the mirror, it would be to impress, perhaps, a man. Call me crazy, but when I go to work (which consists of all women and a few fantastic gay men- I work in fashion, remember?) I roll in wearing clothes that look good, but are comfortable and still somewhat stylish. I can guarantee that I am NOT looking fresh off the runway though.  This would actually be the perfect time for me to don my open toe booties and latex leggings cause the girls in the office might actually care… but I’ll pass.

However, when I have a hot date with my man, I pull out all the stops- however, this does not include my latest and greatest trendy fashion finds. You see, men don’t notice your “this season” Gucci booties, or your brand new Balenciaga bag. They are looking at you. All of that hoopla is lost on them and they probably think it’s a little ridiculous. If your man does care about your outfit and its fashion expiration date, you may want to take your “gay-dar” in for a tune up.

Don’t believe me? Below are some of the current “trends” (which my girlfriends have already so lovingly commented on) and my very manly guy friends’ responses to them.

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WhyDid Wisdom: Please and Thank You.

By |December 23rd, 2008|Somethin for the fellas, WhyDid Wisdom|
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holding-door1

It has come to my attention that people are incredibly… rude.

When did it become acceptable to not say, “please” or “thank you” or heaven forbid, hold the door for someone?

Maybe I’m just lucky because my parents raised me incredibly well, but I kind of think some of these tidbits of etiquette are just common sense, no? Perhaps you don’t know which fork goes with which course at dinner, but I bet you know to say “god bless you” after someone sneezes.

Do men no longer know that they should offer women their seat on the train rather than knocking them out of the way so they can sit their lazy butt down? We are wearing heels! And we carry heavy handbags! When is the last time you saw someone offer a pregnant woman their seat? A gentleman would let a lady take the first taxi, not curse her out for merely being on the same corner hailing a cab.

Manners go a long way in my book. Here are a few more pointers to keep in mind:

  • Cover your mouth when you cough, sneeze, or yawn. No one wants to see your molars.
  • Do not blow your nose in public. That’s just disgusting. Excuse yourself to the bathroom.
  • Be polite to waiters/waitresses and other service industry employees. They deserve the same respect as you.
  • Wash your hands after you use the restroom. This goes for you too, guys. Just because no one is watching doesn’t mean it’s okay to spread illness.
  • Don’t play “chicken” on the street. It’s okay to step to the side if someone is walking towards you on the street. Are you really in that big of a hurry? (Someone DESPERATELY needs to write a book on “Sidewalk Etiquette” by the way).
  • Save personal grooming for home. Ugh! I literally was sitting next to someone cleaning the gunk from under their nails today on the train. I nearly died.
  • Contain your children! Kids are cute and all, but goodness, keep them under control. Just because they’re small doesn’t mean they can run wild.
  • Don’t  use your phone at dinner. It’s so rude. How often do you see a table full of people ALL using their cell phones? Why did you even bother going to dinner with your friends if they are so boring you need to talk to someone else?
  • Don’t let the elevator doors slam on someone. I mean, really, is that extra 2 seconds of holding the door for someone to get on going to kill you?

So “please” try and keep these simple things in mind.  I swear, by making minor adjustments to your manners, you will notice a change in others. “Thank you.”

xx,

WhyDid

Gift Guide: Fellas, Make Your Lady Happy This Holiday

By |December 8th, 2008|Gift Guide, Somethin for the fellas|
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It can be very stressful trying to come up with a thoughtful and useful gift for your honey. So below I have outlined some Do’s and Don’ts of holiday shopping in order to keep you out of the dog house.

What she absolutely does NOT want:

  • Don’t bother trying to buy her clothes. Unless you have (successfully) done this in the past, I would skip it. Plus, you don’t want to have the awkward moment of buying a size 8 when she’s really a size 4. Never buy her a sweater. This is what her Aunt Helen is for.
  • Nix the gift certificates. I know it sounds good in theory and kind of a no fail option, but you are wrong. Gift certificates are completely thoughtless and lazy and trust me, she’ll recognize that. Put in the leg work and get her a real gift.
  • Perfume is way too personal for you to be picking out for her. That’s something she should buy on her own. I also think it is kind of cheesy and trite.
  • Lingerie is iffy. I personally love lingerie, but it is essentially a selfish gift, no? Save it for Valentine’s Day. If you do opt for lingerie, be sure that it’s La Perla or Myla and not Victoria’s Secret. This is no time to be stingy.
  • Jewelry is tricky. There is only one surefire option in jewelry, diamonds. Unless you are very familiar with her style or willing to dish out the $$ for diamonds, I’d hold off. I have a personal horror story about jewelry on Christmas. Picture this: your boyfriend calls you from the Diamond District and tells you how he is the most amazing boyfriend in the world. You are now giddy with excitement (thinking you are finally getting those diamond studs). He shows up with Swarvoski crystals. And ugly ones at that.
  • Any type of kitchen appliance. Enough said.
  • Pajamas. Could you be any less sexy?

Some better options:

In all honesty, my favorite part of any gift is the card. Believe it or not, I do have a soft side. The thought that goes into your gift is far more meaningful than what you actually buy her. If she throws a tantrum or diva fit… maybe it’s time to re-evaluate…

Any of you ladies reading, email me your most horrific holiday gift stories and I will post the best ones! whydidyouwearthat@whydid.com

xx,

WhyDid

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