You may think cupcakes are all fun and games. I mean, what kind of harm could a cupcake do (besides add a few vanity pounds)? Well, let me tell you how a box of cupcakes nearly ruined my life.

I, like most girls, sometimes get ahead of myself when it comes to relationships. I mean, on a first date I already know what our wedding looks like, the house we will live in, and our childrens’ names (yes, names vary on the guy). I know I just recently wrote a blog about learning to love myself and yes, we are still on that journey… but, I can date, right? ……WRONG

Well, not so long ago I started talking to a guy and when we first started talking it was just as friends. The nice thing about this was there were no labels put on it. It was just two people talking, getting to know one another, enjoying each other. You get my drift. I am a lunatic though and after the first week,  my heart started racing and I grew emotionally attached. I was very honest with how UNREALISTIC these feelings of ”love” were and I expressed this to WhyDidYouWearThat quite often. I also knew in my heart, the timing was wrong for this (something else discussed in length with WDYWT).  I knew it wouldn’t be long til I was like an REO Speedwagon song saying, “I cant Fight This Feeling Anymore.”

Sooo we kept it light for as long as we could, but the attraction and the chemistry was undeniable. The Friday before Valentine’s Day we had dinner and it was a great night except towards the end of dinner the conversation fell on the topic of US. What are we? What are we doing?  Where do we want to go with this? The conversation seemed to go well and we decided to keep things simple and just continue to get to know each other. Before we said, “goodnight” for the evening I asked him to go to the movies with me on Sunday. Yes, Valentine’s Day. He accepted and my heart rejoiced.  I rode away on my unicorn with a smile on my face.

Valentine’s Day comes along. I go and purchase a card for him with the help of WDYWT.  It was perfect.  It said “Congrats, you’re my Valentine.” And because Cupid had hit me in the ass with one of his damn arrows, I went to the delish Billy’s Bakery and purchased my guy some cupcakes. I was in a romantic comedy in my head.  Little did I know, the joke was on me. Right before we were supposed to meet, he calls. He informs me he can’t do this anymore. He likes me too much and is not ready to get attached… and that he can’t talk to me anymore. I am not very often speechless, but I was at a complete loss for words and all I managed to mutter before hanging up was, “OK.”  I am now sitting at my desk, teary eyed, and staring at these damn cupcakes. The cupcakes that now make me want to throw myself in front of a speeding cab. The only thought running through my head is, “NOBODY is ever going to want my cupcakes….NOBODY!!”

Well, all I have to say is thank god for good friends because good friends always want your cupcakes. So, I hopped in a cab and headed right over to WhyDidYouWearThat‘s apartment where I proceeded to talk about my insanity while we ate every last crumb of the cupcakes. I mean, Who In Gay Hell would waste good cupcakes?

Now, the cupcake fiasco for me does not stop there. The Wednesday following Valentine’s Day, I am at work and a man walks in with a delivery for me from Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery….Cupcakes!! The card attached has no name, but simply says, “Miss You.” I am sent into a tailspin. I want to believe that “the guy” sent these cupcakes. I want to believe he realized he made a mistake and these are “I’m sorry” cupcakes.  Sooo, I call the bakery to ask who sent them (more Nancy Drew detective work), they tell me they are not at liberty to tell me who sent them. I beg. They still refuse.

As I pig out on the delish cupcakes, I ponder who else could’ve sent them. I want them to be from “him”, but what if they aren’t? Turns out… it wasn’t “him.” A boy did send the cupcakes, but it was not the boy  I wanted it to be. They were from another boy I went on a couple dates with months ago. A boy I had totally forgotten about. I mean what in gay hell are the chances that on Sunday I would buy cupcakes for someone who did not want them from me… and then three days later receive cupcakes from someone I did not want them from? Who knew that cupcakes could be so problematic?  Well, I can say last week I literally had my cupcakes and ate them too. Why In Gay Hell not?

xx,

WhyInGayHell

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I’ve officially moved on from my pizza obsession from two weeks ago and moved right on into a cupcake obsession.  I do have to be obsessed with something “food” at all times, right? It’s only natural and healthy. Maybe I should be telling a therapist this?

Oh, cupcakes. They’re small, they’re round, they’re cakes that you don’t feel guilty about finishing. They’re high on the list of foods that will aid in world peace. We should start telling kids to stop throwing rocks and start throwing cupcakes! Forget engagement rings and propose with cupcakes! Now I’ve  gone too far…

Below I’ll break down a few of my favorite places for cupcakes in Manhattan:

1. Sweet Revenge: There is no revenge like sweet revenge and that’s just what these baked delights are. These bad boys are determined to make my stomach more like a 6 pack of cupcakes and less like the toned tummy that I work hard for! But you know what? They’re so worth it!  The Very Strawberry cupcake is probably the best cupcake I’ve ever had. The frosting literally tastes like you are eating fresh strawberries. Not only did I go two times last week, but I’m about to head there on my lunch break. Also, be sure to check out their happy hour where you can pair a glass of wine and cupcake for $10! Can’t beat that!

2. Buttercup Bake Shop: Peanut butter and jelly cupcakes? Check. Sour Cream Spice? Of course.  Red Velvet? Obvi! . The only problem with Buttercup is making a decision. I don’t want  just one. I want them all!

3. Billy’s Bakery: Billy’s is a great “staple” cupcake place.  I know for a fact that WhyDidYouWearThat and WhyInGayHell had  a little Billy’s cupcake party recently and were RAVING about these cupcakes. So, I’m not alone in my thinking here. Don’t believe us? Try them for yourselves!

Now for the two places that have brought cupcakes where no one has dared bring cupcakes before…drumroll please…

1. Red Velvet Lounge: Music + Alcohol + Dancing + Cupcakes = the recipe for success in my book. Who doesn’t want to munch on an alcohol infused cupcake (brought to you by Baked by Melissa) while shaking their booty on the banquette to a little Jay-Z? I can’t count the the number of times I have been out at a club dancing and drinking when all of a sudden I think to myself, “Dang, I want cupcake!”  This place has cracked the code thanks to Jason Lawrence and Cole Bernard’s brilliant idea of combining two of our favorite things: cocktails and cupcakes. So, please excuse me while I go and sip on my Ketel soda and munch on my vodka-infused cupcake.

2. Butch Bakery: Look! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No! Wait! It’s a beer-infused cupcake! Dare I say it’s yet another way to separate the men from the boys? Now men don’t have to feel guilty going and buying cupcakes. They simply have to go to Butch Bakery and buy a camo cupcake and never think twice about their masculinity. These aren’t just for the boys though! Don’t you dare try and exclude me from anything that has BACON on it. Oh yes, they most certainly do have a cupcake with pieces of bacon sprinkled on top!

As mentioned above, I can’t leave Baked by Melissa off the list. Melissa, darling, I don’t know you, but please call me. I think we could be the best of friends. We could have a very mutually beneficial relationship in that you feed me your quarter sized creations and I keep eating them. That’s mutually beneficial, right?  With flavors like Mint Chocolate Chip, Cookies and Cream, Cookie Dough, and S’mores  there’s no need to ever go back to ice-cream.

Aaaand for NYC’s most OVERRATED cupcake place:

CRUMBS Let me tell you this: Just putting fun toppings on top of cake, doesn’t make it a killer cupcake! No, no, no, my friends! There is an art to it and Crumbs has tried to trick you all into believing good toppings make for a good cupcake! False.

I am now coming to the end of my cupcake rant and left feeling highly unsatisfied because I have zero cupcakes in my mouth or hand at this time.  Please, if you love me or even if you just want to shut me up then send over some cupcakes from one of the places that I have mentioned above.

See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

P.S. – Since my pizza blog two week ago, I have tried Motorino on 12^th Street. It blows the 5 places that I listed out of the water. This is the first pizza joint to get a Michelin star and with good reason. It simply kicks some serious ass!

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We’ve officially dubbed this week “Cupcake Week.”  We’ve been stuffing ourselves with cupcakes lately (we’re total cupcake whores) and decided to share our wealth of knowledge in all things cupcake. And honestly, who the hell doesn’t love a good cupcake?

Stay tuned to hear about the best places to gorge yourself with frosted goodness, how a cupcake could potentially ruin your life, and how to look as pretty as a cupcake. You’re welcome!

xx,

WhyDid

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As some of you may know, we’re getting fancy over here at WhyDid… Christmas either came really early or kinda late for us yesterday. We got ourselves a pretty pink Flip video camera. So you know what that means, right? MORE OF OUR PRETTY FACES!! I know! You’re welcome. Here’s a clip of WhyInGayHell and I testing it out. Just your typical Friday afternoon… (please pardon the mess and WIGH’s munching).

xx,
WhyDid

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Dear Amber Rose,

First and foremost, I’d like to say, who the hell are you? You keep popping up everywhere so clearly I went ahead and Wikipedia’ed your ass. (Ass being operative word seeing as this is what Wiki had to say):

Amber Rose (born October 21, 1982) is an American model, socialite and former exotic dancer, best known for her relationship with musicianKanye West.^{[citation needed]} Her mother is from Cape Verde and her father is of Italian and African American and Irish descent.^{[citation needed]}She is the youngest child of Shauna and Juan Palmer. Her parents divorced when she was three years old, and she was raised by her maternal aunt, Mary Lakes. Rose originally wanted to own a restaurant because she enjoyed food but instead turned to modeling as a career.

Okay, couple things… seems as though “socialite” is being thrown around pretty carelessly these days.  How do you think Tinsley Mortimer feels about being lumped in the same category with an ex stripper turned nude model?

On a total side note, why do they call it “exotic” dancing? I mean, there’s nothing “exotic” about it. Am I right? It’s like calling the garbage man a “waste technician.” Let’s call a spade a spade.

This is the picture that got me to venting:

This is you at Fashion Week. Why are you there? I was not aware that Darth Vader was showing this season.

Oh… leggings as pants. Leopard leggings as pants. Two birds. One stone.

I mean, really? Did you think that we wouldn’t mind your cameltoe if you matched your pants to your lipstick? Strike two.

You obv don’t wanna be a wallflower, so why on God’s green earth are you dressing like wallpaper?

You’re really testing my patience, Amber.

Oh, you’re a bumblebee. Is that what all the buzz is about?

And your worst fashion choice of all? Kanye as an accessory.

Now I know why you were a stripper/nude model, cause you actually are better off with no clothes on.

xx,

WhyDid

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