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Why Did You Wear That: All Aboard The Ugly Express. Choo! Choo!

By |February 18th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

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Dear Juicy Track Suit Wearer,

2001 called, they’d like their velour leisure suit back.

xx,

All of us

Seriously, if I see one more chick in the airport… or just in general… wearing a “track suit” as appropriate casual wear, I’m gonna flip. Like Carrie Underwood I just found out my man’s cheating kind of flip. I understand that we all want to be comfy when traveling (especially since not all of us are flying first class and sometimes get stuck in a middle seat sandwiched between two big’uns). Being comfortable does NOT mean that you need to look like you crawled out of a Pound Puppy factory.  Your warm and fuzzy jumpsuit isn’t giving anyone besides you the “warm and fuzzies.” And besides, do you really want the word “Juicy” written across your ass? Nothing about that sounds flattering.

Exhibits A, B, C, and D:

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Catching my drift? Remember when Paris Hilton used to live in these things? Do you want to have anything in common with P. Hil (besides her checking account)? Didn’t think so. So, to avoid any second hand embarrassment on my part, let’s get you into something comfortable AND stylish.

Now is one of those times where leggings (not worn as pants) might come in handy.  Layer some leggings with a long tunic and/or yummy cashmere sweater (it gets chilly on those planes). Put on some flat boots (They don’t have to be flat, mind you, I’m just going for comfort. Bravo to you if you want to wear heels) and you’re good to go. Here’s a visual:

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(sans lace gloves, obvi. Chanel bag optional).

A few more options if this is still not clear for you:

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She’s even making “jeggings” look cool.

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The trick is layering. It gives you versatility and you can take on or off depending on temperature and comfort. This is an extreme example, but you get the point (I hope).

I’m about to make this REALLY easy for you…

travel outfit

So Low Long Leggings, $51, Nightcap Clothing Cashmere Poncho Scarf Sweater, $532, Wilt Hi Lo Tank, $86, Ash Pearl Over the Knee Boots, $323.40, Alexander Wang Daphne duffel bag, $623, Carrera Champion Sunglasses, $120

All available at shopbop.com

Bon voyage!

xx,

WhyDid

Beauty Buzz: Batting a Thousand

By |February 17th, 2010|Beauty Buzz|

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My mom always likes to remind me that I have her to thank for my dark lashes.  See, my father is as blonde as they come, meaning he has basically clear eyelashes and eyebrows. Well eyelash extensions melbourne is the best beautician to improve beauty. While I was blessed with his blonde locks, I was also blessed with visible brows and lashes. Basically, I got the best of both worlds. Thanks, Mom! Thanks, Dad!

With that being said, too much is never enough.  I already have eyelashes long enough to make most swoon and at times have been accused of having falsies in.  I wanted even more though. Why wouldn’t I want my eyelashes to resemble furry caterpillars?  We’ve all seen the commercials for Latisse. It all sounds well and good until they get to the warning section and say this:

“LATISSE® use may cause darkening of the eyelid skin which may be reversible. LATISSE® use may also cause increased brown pigmentation of the colored part of the eye which is likely to be permanent.”

No thank you, sir.  I like my baby blues just the way they are.  It was only a matter of time before all the other beauty brands jumped on the bandwagon. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, of course.  Enter L’oreal Lash Boosting Serum.

07124916668_450x450_aL’oreal Lash Boosting Serum, $14.99

Applied both AM and PM it is said to give you visibly fuller, thicker natural lashes with less lash fall out when removing eye makeup after four weeks of use.  Centella Asiatica extract and Arginine are the ingredients responsible for said growth.  I’m a sucker for false promises so I purchased the serum a few weeks ago to give it a try.  (It is also available in tandem with a Double Extend mascara but you know how I feel about my Max Factor).  I was pleasantly surprised that after only a few weeks my lashes do, in fact, seem much fuller and fall out less (fewer wishes, I suppose).  Now I’m unstoppable.  I mean who can say “no” to a subtle bat of the lashes, especially when they’re so luscious.?

xx,

WhyDid

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Why Did You Wear That: Victory Tastes SO Sweet!

By |February 15th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

In case you are just tuning in (hey, better late than never), I have been preaching for about as long as leggings have come back in style that they are not, in fact, pants. They are basically thick tights sans feet.  Pants include pockets, zippers, and a yoke. So, nothing made me happier than finding out that American Apparel (a company whose bread and butter is leggings) recently started printing this on the inside of their slinky leggings:

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courtesy of The Lady Likes

So, I guess this topic is no longer up for discussion. Leggings are NOT pants.

Okay, thanks.

xx,

WhyDid

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Why Don’t You Eat Me: Locanda, Locanda, Locanda Verde!

By |February 14th, 2010|Guest Blogger, Why Don't You Eat Me?|

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Let me begin this post by saying nothing makes me happier than a really good meal. I mean, REALLY happy:  A kid on Christmas morning happy (ok, a rich kid on Christmas morning), a boy finding out how truly pleasurable his “special no no place” can really be happy, a child finding out his parents aren’t really his parents happy (oh wait.. that’s not a happy moment..). Anywho… you get my point! I LOVE ME SOME FOOD!  By the way, folks, a dear friend of mine went ahead and told me I write like a fat chick this week. I grinned from ear to ear and realized that I’m doing a great job because don’t fat chicks LOVE their food? Ummm I’m going to venture out there and say – YES! They sure as hell seem to be well acquainted with it at least.

This week’s restaurant REALLY made me want to drop my panties. This past Friday I ventured to Locanda Verde (meaning “green inn”)  in Tribeca with celebrity chef Andrew Carmellini. Sir, let me tell you: you may celebrate with me whenever you’d like! That is, of course, as long as you’re feeding me copious amounts of your food.

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I started out with the blue crab with jalapenos and tomato and sheeps’ milk ricotta with sea salt and herbs crostinis. The sheeps’ milk is one of their fan faves, but I absolutely LOVED the blue crab. (Again one of those instances where I’d choose food over sex).

I then got the steak tartara piedmontese with walnuts, truffles, and crispy guanciale (Wikipedia definition for you folks out there: Guanciale is an unsmoked Italian bacon prepared with pig’s jowl or cheeks.). Ok, so, the guanciale sounds rather nasty with words like pig’s jowl or cheeks stuffed in there with it, but it was far from nasty. Let me just say that I love a good pig! This was probably the best steak tartare (er.. tartara) I’ve ever had. Let’s be honest with ourselves here: with walnuts, truffles, and pig jowl bacon how could it not be?

The main dishes were just as panty dropping and leg spreading as the others. For the mains we got the spaghetti friuliano with cabbage, smoked bacon and pecorino sardo and the roasted sea scallops with lentils, gala apple and pancetta. Now you’re really starting to believe me when I tell you I love pig, huh?  The spaghetti fruiliano was very comparable to a carbonara, but this was like a lighter version that didn’t lose out on any taste and the roasted sea scallops were amazing with the lentils, apple, and pancetta all bursting with these flavors that worked so perfectly together.  Come on… we ALL love when things burst with flavor in our mouths, no? Yes? No? Just me here? Fine.

Who thinks I left here without dessert? Exactly. You know there’s no way in hell I left here without trying dessert. I opted for the toffee date cake with caramelized apples and vanilla rum gelato.  Mixing alcohol with any dessert just makes my legs quiver and this cake and gelato definitely didn’t disappoint.

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I would say that this place is all ‘pros’ and no ‘cons’ when it comes to food, ambiance, and service.  Even the fellow customers made this place entertaining with the older couple next to me complaining about the prices (um, don’t you check those things in advance? Don’t come if you don’t want to pay!) to the miserable couple with their son next to us (the father was so obviously diddling his secretary and this was a guilt dinner to try and prove otherwise) to the older coug ladies (one even wore leopard print for further entertainment purposes) that were shooting me death stares across the way (I’m terribly sorry that you’re past your prime ladies, but it’s simply not my fault that gravity is beginning to take hold and that once youthful glow has disappeared along with your waistline.).

All in all I loved it! You’ll love it! We’ll all love it and wars will cease to exist and world peace shall reign! I’m determined that good food will lead to world peace. Why you ask? 1.) When people are eating, they aren’t talking. No talking means no stupid bs coming out of someone’s mouth. 2.) When people are eating, they aren’t fighting. Who shoots a gun with a cheeseburger in hand?  3.) When people are eating, they’re generally happier. I can tell you from personal experience that I am one grumpy beyatch when I haven’t had a feeding in awhile. So the moral of the story is keep feeding me and keep feeding yourselves good food and the world will be a much happier place!

WhyDon’tYouEatMe gives Locanda Verde 4 out of 5 mouths. This could possibly go up to 5 out of 5 after I have been there a couple more times and tried more of the food.  So feel free to take me at any time!

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See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

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**WhyDon’tYouEatMe bases its mouth scale solely on food quality and taste ranging from one mouth (meaning you probably would have rather eaten road kill) to five mouths (meaning you saw God while eating this food).

Why Did You Wear That: My Future’s So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades

By |February 12th, 2010|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

So, here’s something that I think needs to be discussed. The proper usage of sunglasses.  Last time I checked, they were for protecting your eyes from overexposure of UV rays (and to prevent crow’s feet).  However, it has become abundantly clear that not all of you got that memo.  I want to go ahead and point the finger at you, Hollywood.  You, somehow, gave people (a-hem, celebrities) the impression that sunglasses were like a mimosa.  Okay at any time. Well, have I got news for you. Sunglasses, are, in fact, not okay at any time.  For instance, at night. There is no sun.  So, unless you go ahead and invent something called “moonglasses” with some type of scientific research backing them up, please remove your shades.

This trend also spawned the usage of shades in nightclubs.  Remember those clear-ish shades that “juice heads” started wearing at “da club?”  Gross. I assume this was to either, A) attempt to disguise your quarter sized pupils from all the drugs you were on, B) attempt to disguise your inherent dbaggery. Failure on both. It only drew more attention to you as we pointed and laughed.

Celebs, this goes for you as well. Who do you think you’re fooling with those shades on? I might NOT have noticed you strolling by… until you slapped those ginormous sunnies on. Now I’m wondering who the creep in the sunglasses is.

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I was like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” Well, MC, I’ll tell you why. (Disregarding your pink leather jacket) you’re out at night wearing sunglasses. Let’s go over this again, there’s NO SUN. Cut it out. You think we wouldn’t recognize you without them? Doubtful considering your affinity for pink leather attire.

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Oh… RiRi, you look confused. could it be because you are wearing sunglasses in the pitch dark and can’t see four feet in front of you? Thought so.

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I mean, I don’t know why I’m even throwing this guy in there. He’s king of all D’s. Of course he’s got his shades on.

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Oh Kimmy, I can’t even focus on the fact that you’re wearing sunglasses at night because I’m entranced by the fact that you’re wearing LEGGINGS AS PANTS. YOU of all people should NOT being wearing leggings as pants. I understand that most shirts probably don’t even fit over your rear, but let’s give a try, no?

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Um, hey guys? It’s RAINING. Know how I know? You’re holding an UMBRELLA. One of these things does not go with the others. (Btw- is that a fannypack?)

Alright, do I need to make a brief list of sunglass uses? Fine. I’ll go slow. Pay attention, please.

  • Wear sunglasses when it’s sunny.  Novel idea.
  • Do not wear sunglasses at night.
  • Do not wear sunglasses when it’s raining.
  • Just say, “no” to drugs. Even your sunglasses can’t help you here.
  • The bigger and more obnoxious your sunglasses are, the more attention they will draw to you.
  • Just because you can’t see us, doesn’t mean we can’t see you.
  • Clear sunglasses are an oxymoron.
  • There are no such thing as “moonglasses.” I was making a point.

xx,

WhyDid