Life’s a Beach

We’ve gone and done it again, folks. We love a good theme over here at WhyDid and this week’s theme is in honor of the imminent warm weather that we’re all anxiously awaiting. It’s officially “Beach Week” and to get us started off on the right foot, I’m going to tell you about some of Manhattan’s best places to grab drinks where you’ll feel as if you’re actually at the beach (or at least out of the city).

Warning: Don’t get too excited and venture to these places with pale bare legs a blazin’. WhyDidYouWearThat will give the go ahead when it’s time to trade in your skinnies for minis!

For a tropical escape in liquid form, I recommend the following places:

1. The Rusty Knot: If you’re not able to look out over the ocean, you might as well look out over the Hudson, no? Well, we’ll take what we can get here in Manhattan and the Rusty Knot offers a simple escape with a rustic “nautical” theme and tasty tiki drinks (including Mai Tais and Dark and Stormy’s). Ahoy!

2. South Street Seaport: Who doesn’t like walking along the beach with a frosty drink in hand? I know I do, but there sure aren’t many places you can do so in Manhattan. South Street Seaport is an exception to the rule (we love breaking rules!). Here you can buy a drink and meander through the boardwalk and gaze at the ships without having to worry about those pesky cops stopping you. If you can get past all the tourists (or can simply ignore them) then you’re bound to enjoy yourself.

3. Sushi Samba 7: With drinks like the Nina Fresa and Fico Freso doubled with outdoor space giving a cabana-like feel, you’ve got yourself a mini vacay right here in NYC. Just do yourself a favor and don’t go on the weekends because you’ll have to fight the B&T for a spot at the bar.

4. P.J. Clarke’s on the Hudson: Some are not aware of the sister to the Midtown P.J.’s and they are missing out. Same great food, but much better atmosphere. Located on the Hudson between Tribeca and FiDi, you can watch the boats and the cute banker boys while sipping on a cocktail. (*Bonus- the outdoor seating is totally dog friendly).

5. Have your own rooftop pool party: If you won’t be making it up to the roof at Soho House when it reopens this spring, have no fear. Throw the most exclusive rooftop party in the city- your own! 1. Buy baby pool 2. Find a friend with a nice rooftop 3. Buy cooler, beer, and mixes for margaritas and strawberry daiquiris (or try some of WhyDid’s favorite summer beverages) and voila! You’ve found yourself miles away from Manhattan all the while still being right in the thick of it.

Now, excuse me while I go and buy myself a nice tropical drink with umbrella and pray for warmer weather to come.

See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

Alidoro, I love you. Won’t You Tell Me Your Name?

In a city full of famous delis, you’d figure it would be pretty easy to find a good sandwich, right? Hardly. Most of those “famous delis” are just tourist traps and you won’t get out of there with a sammy under $15. No, thank you.

That being said, if you haven’t heard of this small Italian sandwich shop, then you’re welcome in advance (I accept gratuity in both Louboutins and Cartier). Tucked away on Sullivan Street in Soho is Alidoro. This is by far the BEST sandwich shop in NYC. I used to go to the gym before stopping in to justify the 1000 calories I was about to ingest. This place is worth every last calorie though. Not to mention the owner is a really cute Italian guy. (Sucker for accents).

I’ve tried quite a few of their sandwiches and all of them are pretty amazing (each named good ol’ Italian names), but one sandwich is BEYOND amazing. It’s so good that I’d gladly trade my cat (sorry, Ellis!) for one.  It’s called the “Pavarotti.” What isn’t appetizing about a fat opera singer? Seriously. The Pavarotti has salami, smoked mozzarella, sun dried tomatoes, artichokes, and sweet roasted peppers and I always opt to get it on white Italian bread (they have options such as white, whole wheat, focaccia). Just like dear old Pavarotti himself, this bad boy is massive! No worries, I can scarf it down in one sitting.

Another favorite sandwich here is the “Matthew” and I would probably order it more often if it weren’t named after my ex.  The Matthew has prosciutto, fresh mozzarella, dressing, and arugula on it. In a word: Delish. Honestly, you really can’t go wrong here. I’d move into the apartment upstairs just to get closer to my favorite sandwich if I could.

Alidoro is another place with basically all pros and no cons. There’s usually a bit of a line, but that’s to be expected in a tiny sandwich shop. They also don’t offer condiments like mayonnaise, mustard, etc. and actually have a list telling you not to even bother asking for them. Love that.

Alidoro definitely gets 5 out of 5 mouths for having excellent ingredients, excellent sandwiches, and being altogether quite excellent! Buon appetite!

So go ahead folks! Open wide, insert sandwich, and enjoy!

See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

Will You Be My Cupcake?

I’ve officially moved on from my pizza obsession from two weeks ago and moved right on into a cupcake obsession.  I do have to be obsessed with something “food” at all times, right? It’s only natural and healthy. Maybe I should be telling a therapist this?

Oh, cupcakes. They’re small, they’re round, they’re cakes that you don’t feel guilty about finishing. They’re high on the list of foods that will aid in world peace. We should start telling kids to stop throwing rocks and start throwing cupcakes! Forget engagement rings and propose with cupcakes! Now I’ve  gone too far…

Below I’ll break down a few of my favorite places for cupcakes in Manhattan:

1. Sweet Revenge: There is no revenge like sweet revenge and that’s just what these baked delights are. These bad boys are determined to make my stomach more like a 6 pack of cupcakes and less like the toned tummy that I work hard for! But you know what? They’re so worth it!  The Very Strawberry cupcake is probably the best cupcake I’ve ever had. The frosting literally tastes like you are eating fresh strawberries. Not only did I go two times last week, but I’m about to head there on my lunch break. Also, be sure to check out their happy hour where you can pair a glass of wine and cupcake for $10! Can’t beat that!

2. Buttercup Bake Shop: Peanut butter and jelly cupcakes? Check. Sour Cream Spice? Of course.  Red Velvet? Obvi! . The only problem with Buttercup is making a decision. I don’t want  just one. I want them all!

3. Billy’s Bakery: Billy’s is a great “staple” cupcake place.  I know for a fact that WhyDidYouWearThat and WhyInGayHell had  a little Billy’s cupcake party recently and were RAVING about these cupcakes. So, I’m not alone in my thinking here. Don’t believe us? Try them for yourselves!

Now for the two places that have brought cupcakes where no one has dared bring cupcakes before…drumroll please…

1. Red Velvet Lounge: Music + Alcohol + Dancing + Cupcakes = the recipe for success in my book. Who doesn’t want to munch on an alcohol infused cupcake (brought to you by Baked by Melissa) while shaking their booty on the banquette to a little Jay-Z? I can’t count the the number of times I have been out at a club dancing and drinking when all of a sudden I think to myself, “Dang, I want cupcake!”  This place has cracked the code thanks to Jason Lawrence and Cole Bernard’s brilliant idea of combining two of our favorite things: cocktails and cupcakes. So, please excuse me while I go and sip on my Ketel soda and munch on my vodka-infused cupcake.

2. Butch Bakery: Look! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No! Wait! It’s a beer-infused cupcake! Dare I say it’s yet another way to separate the men from the boys? Now men don’t have to feel guilty going and buying cupcakes. They simply have to go to Butch Bakery and buy a camo cupcake and never think twice about their masculinity. These aren’t just for the boys though! Don’t you dare try and exclude me from anything that has BACON on it. Oh yes, they most certainly do have a cupcake with pieces of bacon sprinkled on top!

As mentioned above, I can’t leave Baked by Melissa off the list. Melissa, darling, I don’t know you, but please call me. I think we could be the best of friends. We could have a very mutually beneficial relationship in that you feed me your quarter sized creations and I keep eating them. That’s mutually beneficial, right?  With flavors like Mint Chocolate Chip, Cookies and Cream, Cookie Dough, and S’mores  there’s no need to ever go back to ice-cream.

Aaaand for NYC’s most OVERRATED cupcake place:

CRUMBS Let me tell you this: Just putting fun toppings on top of cake, doesn’t make it a killer cupcake! No, no, no, my friends! There is an art to it and Crumbs has tried to trick you all into believing good toppings make for a good cupcake! False.

I am now coming to the end of my cupcake rant and left feeling highly unsatisfied because I have zero cupcakes in my mouth or hand at this time.  Please, if you love me or even if you just want to shut me up then send over some cupcakes from one of the places that I have mentioned above.

See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

P.S. – Since my pizza blog two week ago, I have tried Motorino on 12^th Street. It blows the 5 places that I listed out of the water. This is the first pizza joint to get a Michelin star and with good reason. It simply kicks some serious ass!

Locanda, Locanda, Locanda Verde!

Let me begin this post by saying nothing makes me happier than a really good meal. I mean, REALLY happy:  A kid on Christmas morning happy (ok, a rich kid on Christmas morning), a boy finding out how truly pleasurable his “special no no place” can really be happy, a child finding out his parents aren’t really his parents happy (oh wait.. that’s not a happy moment..). Anywho… you get my point! I LOVE ME SOME FOOD!  By the way, folks, a dear friend of mine went ahead and told me I write like a fat chick this week. I grinned from ear to ear and realized that I’m doing a great job because don’t fat chicks LOVE their food? Ummm I’m going to venture out there and say – YES! They sure as hell seem to be well acquainted with it at least.

This week’s restaurant REALLY made me want to drop my panties. This past Friday I ventured to Locanda Verde (meaning “green inn”)  in Tribeca with celebrity chef Andrew Carmellini. Sir, let me tell you: you may celebrate with me whenever you’d like! That is, of course, as long as you’re feeding me copious amounts of your food.

I started out with the blue crab with jalapenos and tomato and sheeps’ milk ricotta with sea salt and herbs crostinis. The sheeps’ milk is one of their fan faves, but I absolutely LOVED the blue crab. (Again one of those instances where I’d choose food over sex).

I then got the steak tartara piedmontese with walnuts, truffles, and crispy guanciale (Wikipedia definition for you folks out there: Guanciale is an unsmoked Italian bacon prepared with pig’s jowl or cheeks.). Ok, so, the guanciale sounds rather nasty with words like pig’s jowl or cheeks stuffed in there with it, but it was far from nasty. Let me just say that I love a good pig! This was probably the best steak tartare (er.. tartara) I’ve ever had. Let’s be honest with ourselves here: with walnuts, truffles, and pig jowl bacon how could it not be?

The main dishes were just as panty dropping and leg spreading as the others. For the mains we got the spaghetti friuliano with cabbage, smoked bacon and pecorino sardo and the roasted sea scallops with lentils, gala apple and pancetta. Now you’re really starting to believe me when I tell you I love pig, huh?  The spaghetti fruiliano was very comparable to a carbonara, but this was like a lighter version that didn’t lose out on any taste and the roasted sea scallops were amazing with the lentils, apple, and pancetta all bursting with these flavors that worked so perfectly together.  Come on… we ALL love when things burst with flavor in our mouths, no? Yes? No? Just me here? Fine.

Who thinks I left here without dessert? Exactly. You know there’s no way in hell I left here without trying dessert. I opted for the toffee date cake with caramelized apples and vanilla rum gelato.  Mixing alcohol with any dessert just makes my legs quiver and this cake and gelato definitely didn’t disappoint.

I would say that this place is all ‘pros’ and no ‘cons’ when it comes to food, ambiance, and service.  Even the fellow customers made this place entertaining with the older couple next to me complaining about the prices (um, don’t you check those things in advance? Don’t come if you don’t want to pay!) to the miserable couple with their son next to us (the father was so obviously diddling his secretary and this was a guilt dinner to try and prove otherwise) to the older coug ladies (one even wore leopard print for further entertainment purposes) that were shooting me death stares across the way (I’m terribly sorry that you’re past your prime ladies, but it’s simply not my fault that gravity is beginning to take hold and that once youthful glow has disappeared along with your waistline.).

All in all I loved it! You’ll love it! We’ll all love it and wars will cease to exist and world peace shall reign! I’m determined that good food will lead to world peace. Why you ask? 1.) When people are eating, they aren’t talking. No talking means no stupid bs coming out of someone’s mouth. 2.) When people are eating, they aren’t fighting. Who shoots a gun with a cheeseburger in hand?  3.) When people are eating, they’re generally happier. I can tell you from personal experience that I am one grumpy beyatch when I haven’t had a feeding in awhile. So the moral of the story is keep feeding me and keep feeding yourselves good food and the world will be a much happier place!

WhyDon’tYouEatMe gives Locande Verde 4 out of 5 mouths. This could possibly go up to 5 out of 5 after I have been there a couple more times and tried more of the food.  So feel free to take me at any time!

See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

**WhyDon’tYouEatMe bases its mouth scale solely on food quality and taste ranging from one mouth (meaning you probably would have rather eaten road kill) to five mouths (meaning you saw God while eating this food).

Happy Valentine’s Day from the WhyDid Fam

Oh, it’s Valentine’s Day alright. Please don’t throw yourself from the nearest bridge. WE love you, after all. What else could you possibly need (other than a tall glass of wine)?  Would some funny commercials with women holding the Shake Weight help?

Don’t worry, we didn’t forget you guys.

Sending our love.

xx,

WhyDidYouWearThat, WhyInGayHell, WhyDon’tYouActLikeALady, WhyDon’tYouEatMe, VintageVixen

You Wanna Pizza Me?

OMFG! I can’t stop thinking about pizza! I also can’t stop eating pizza. So, I figured I may as well write about it too.  Or ‘blog’ about it…you get the idea. I’m  still coming to terms with the fact that I’m a blogger now, but I always go around yapping about how much I love food and how I’m a ‘foodie’, so it really is only fair that I share my love of food with a dash of sarcasm and cynicism with the rest of the world.  Don’t you think? If you don’t, then no one asked you.

Now on to the cheesy goodness of that magical food that is pizza. This is where I REALLY don’t discriminate on food.  I love the low end stuff and I love the high end stuff.  Here’s my list of my 5 fave pizza joints (or restaurants that just make one hell of a pizza) here in NYC (in no particular order):

1.     Lombardi’s: If you live in NY, then you’ve heard of it. If you’re an idiot, you’ll actually wait in line and not go at an off peak hour instead. My point is that it’s good. Really good. So good that way too many tourists have heard about it and ARE willing to wait in that line. So do yourself a favor and go during the week for lunch or go right before that dinner crowd hits. I always order a pie with meatball and ricotta. It’s so good that I’m salivating as I write this and considering blowing off my dinner date with my boyfriend to go pig out on pizza alone and later cower in shame and regret about my pizza debauchery.  Ok, not really.

2.    Artichoke Basille: This is some of the best creamy, artichoke-y (yes, I’m going to go ahead and make up that word) goodness you can get.  For the first few bites, you feel as if you’ve stepped out of NYC and into some sort of delicious artichoke dream. Then you start to feel rather ill and have to stop, but believe me. . .those first few bites are worth a trip here.

3.     John’s of Bleecker Street:  John’s never disappoints and was actually the first pizza place in NY that I went to, so it will always have a little place in my heart (and mouth).  Lines can also form at this popular pizza joint, so I’d give the same recommendations on when to go as I did for Lombardi’s. I also always go with the meatball and ricotta pie here (seeing a trend?), but every pie I’ve ever had here has been tasty.

4.     Otto: Dear Prosciutto Arugula Pizza at Otto, I love you. You never fail to make me happy and I feel as if I can always count on you. You’re the wind beneath my wings. If I could propose to you then I would, but I’d inevitably eat you and end up a lonely spinster. Alright, in all seriousness: this is a good pie. I’ve had prosciutto arugula pizzas all over Manhattan and this one is definitely the best in my eyes. Otto also rocks because it has tons of other great food that I’ll blog specifically about some other time.

5.     Gonzo: I was just introduced to Gonzo’s pizza last week by my dear pals WhyDidYouWearThat, WhyinGayHell, and WhyDon’tYouActLikeALady. I was informed of the killer two for one special on Mondays and I was overcome with joy for getting the chance to stuff my face full of pizza and save money at the same time. We ordered four pizzas and all were fabulous, but two specifically stood out to me: the spicy chicken and the brussel sprouts pies. I’m typically not a huge chicken fan, but this pie made me rethink those claims. Just the right amount of chicken, cheese, and spiciness! As for the brussel sprouts pie. I LOVE me some brussel sprouts , so when you go and combine two of my favorite things such as brussel sprouts and pizza then that makes for an orgasmic experience.  It rocked my world and will most definitely rock yours, BUT it’s a special for a limited time so go soon! Now even. Go now! Run!

So there you have it. My current 5 fave pizza places in NYC. I say ‘current’ because that could easily change at any minute if I’m introduced to some other fabulous pie, but all of these places are worth taking a trip to.

All in all I’d give each of these places 4 out of 5 mouths for being seriously tasty and making me want to stuff copious amounts of pizza in my mouth.

See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

**WhyDon’tYouEatMe bases its mouth scale solely on food quality and taste ranging from one mouth (meaning you probably would have rather eaten road kill) to five mouths (meaning you saw God while eating this food).

Me Nobu You Long Time

Let me begin by telling you a little bit about myself and my passion for food…

I was raised in the South and therefore, know about the beauty of truly wonderful barbeque, the brilliance of fried foods such as fried okra, fried green tomatoes, and most definitely fried chicken and chicken fried steak that almost make you want to scream aloud, “SCREW THIS WHOLE BEING THIN THING!”

Oh, but that was just the beginning. Once I moved to New York, I realized that I absolutely LOVED all things food. Given the choice between sex or food at an amazing restaurant I may very well choose food.  Ok, not really. Well, depends on the restaurant…

That leads me into my first restaurant. Nobu 57.  Another fun fact about me is that when I go to a restaurant I am going SOLELY for the food. I don’t care if it’s a “good scene” or if Leonardo Dicaprio will be at the table next to me.  Don’t get me wrong… I enjoy some good eye candy while I’m eating, but I prefer a good meal to a good view any day of the week. So, whenever I go to Nobu, I forego on reservations and just walk in and sit at the bar. At Nobu 57 you happen to get both good food and good eye candy at the bar because the bartenders are super cute. Not only are they cute, but they’re even helpful.  Here you can order from the full menu and have the bartender make you drinks based on your taste preferences.  I am now a huge fan of the Lychee Martini.  Who am I kidding? I’m a fan of just about all their drinks. Maybe I’m just a fan of all drinks? No…no…Just all THEIR drinks.

Now for the best part! The food! These are two items that I ALWAYS order: The yellowtail sashimi with jalapeno and the washu beef. Both literally melt in your mouth. This is one of those times where I would VERY likely choose food over sex. I also strongly recommend the fluke sashimi with dried red miso and yuzu sauce, the squid “pasta” with light garlic sauce, and the black cod with miso. 

If you’re looking for a good roll, then DEFINITELY go for the house roll – hands down the freshest fish I’ve ever had.  If you’ve ever had not so fresh fish, then we all know the definite importance of very fresh fish….in ALL aspects. You may or may not have to delve into your inner pervert to get that one.

The bad parts:

1. Running into someone you dated back in highschool that has multiple piercings in, errr, odd places. Seriously, how does that happen?!?

2.  Having people hover over you while you eat if it’s really crowded.

 3. Having to listen to some of the pretentious people’s conversations sitting next to you – you really just want to ask them to please stop and reevaluate their lives.

All in all WhyDon’tYouEatMe gives Nobu57 5 out of 5 Mouths because it rocks our world and will most definitely rock yours as well.

See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

**WhyDon’tYouEatMe bases its mouth scale solely on food quality and taste ranging from one mouth (meaning you probably would have rather eaten road kill) to five mouths (meaning you saw God while eating this food).