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Why Did or Why Don’t: Braidy Bunch

By |August 27th, 2014|Beauty Buzz, Somethin for the fellas, Why Did or Why Don't?|

cary fukunaga braidsWe have already covered the man bun/mun/male topknot (feel free to weigh in), which does not seem to be going anywhere if this week’s awards shows have been any indication.  Just look at all the fuss over Game of Throne’s, Kit Harrington’s, perfectly executed updo from Monday night’s Emmy Awards.  But all the man buns in the world and even Jared Leto’s ombre mane couldn’t compete when True Detective’s director, Cary Joji Fukunaga, took the stage to accept the award for Outstanding Director.  I, for one, audibly gasped at this handsome man, but it wasn’t just his cheekbones that sent the internet into a tizzy.  It was his hair.  At first glance, he looked clean cut, but as he described his coiffure, “For tonight, I just thought business in the front, party in the back.”

Though Cary was a pleasant surprise in a room full of familiar faces and stuffy industry types and his hair seemed to be a fresh interpretation for man coifs worldwide, he’s not the first to be seen sporting man braids.  As a matter of fact, the night before rapper, Riff Raff, clad in denim had a head full of braids and is probably asking today, “Dafuq?” Even before Riff Raff, there was David Beckham, Axl Rose, and let us never forget Kevin Federline.

famous men braidsI, myself, spent a sunny Saturday afternoon in Amagansett this summer lackadaisically braiding cornrows into one of my man bun wearing guy friend’s head.  We thought it was kind of funny and for him, the look actually worked.  I even taught him the importance of patting his head when it started to itch as to avoid creating frizz.  So, back to Cary’s internet sensational hairstyle and potentially the next wave of hipster hairdos (Slate created a pretty genius rendering).  It may have something to do with the fact that he’s terribly good looking, but the only part of his hairstyle that truly bothered me was his (unintentionally) crooked part which The Cut got a close up of.  You see though, I’m quite dextrous and great with a comb, so Cary, call me next time you’re you’re looking for some Poetic Justice.

What do you think about men with braids?

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did or Why Don’t: Man Bun in the Oven

By |August 13th, 2014|Somethin for the fellas, Why Did or Why Don't?|

men-hairbun-high copyThis summer, men took accessorizing one step further by donning what we now know as the “man bun.”  And while I do have a healthy portion of male readers (God bless you analytics), I will not take the blame (or credit- depending on your stance) for the trend just because I’ve made more than one brilliant top knot tutorial (you can learn “how to” here and here).  For the past decade or so, men hadn’t had much wiggle room when it came to socially acceptable hairdos except the beard which they could style at home, rather than going to the barber for such a task.  There’s been the classic buzz cut, the Bieber bob, and that whole spiky gelled situation that ruined shams worldwide.  And let’s just be thankful we all survived the “faux hawk.” You can check these awesome hairdressing scissors most barbers preferred.

While the ponytail is nothing new (hello, Karl Lagerfeld), men decided that wasn’t good enough and began piling their locks on their heads way atop or grazing the napes of their necks, real estate formerly reserved for sweet nuzzles from their beloveds.  I’m not sure who can specifically be appointed as the official firestarter of this follicle free for all, but I think Colin Farrell was one of the male topknot pioneers.  To be fair, average citizens started sporting it well before it became mainstream.  I had an ex-boyfriend several years ago who began experimenting with the trend.  Granted, he also thought waking up and drinking the leftover beer on his nightstand from the night before was par for the course.  In any case, this hair-rowing (see what I did there?) hairstyle has taken over from east to west coast, north to south.  There are several blogs dedicated solely to the praise of ballerina buns fit for Baryshnikov (exhibit A and exhibit B) and The Awl even created a brilliant collection of the male topknot in its natural habitat.

celebrity man bunsMuch like the beard bubble was predicted to pop (and has yet to do so as late adopters are STILL jumping on the bearded bandwagon), the man bun would appear to have a shelf life itself.  Interestingly enough, it seems that the topknot and beard are not mutually exclusive and often worn in tandem.  All this hair has me asking a lot of questions though.  Many men claim to be the superior sex, but I’m beginning to sense a trend.  It started with our eyeliner and skinny jeans then men began eying our tank tops and now they’re angling for our hair ties?  And if you’re in a couple this also leads to a lot of financial hurdles.  Can we afford to double up on deep conditioners?  Do we need to own one flatiron or two?  Won’t our shower drain clog twice as fast?

So with the imminent onslaught of snow, will these top knot wearing gents be forced to concede their coifs once they realize a bun looks more like a goiter under a beanie?  Or will ear muffs have a renaissance for men?  As I typed this, a shiver went down my spine as I realized that the knitted headband or even a turban may not be off limits to a man who has mastered the art of bobbi pins.  I’d be lying if I didn’t get a little hot and bothered collecting visual aids for this post, but I really want to know your thoughts.

 

 xx,

WhyDid

Why Did or Why Don’t: Return to Sender (a Poll & PSA)

By |June 4th, 2014|Why Did or Why Don't?|

bone freeIn the digital age, dating has taken a turn for the worse.  Things that seem as though they should make meeting a mate more manageable have just become downright scary.  Social media has made everyone so much more accessible and while it can be used for good like tracking down that “missed connection” from the L train, it seems as if men are overly stimulated by the bathing beauties and their bikini pics only inflating their egos to the point wherein they think they stand a chance with the 23 year old model from Johannesburg who spends her days squatting, not eating the food in her pictures, and taking selfies, therefore blowing off the perfectly lovely local ladies actually available to them.  Along with turning Facebook and Instagram into quasi dating sites, there has since been the inception of Tinder, which will require a dedicated tiger clad post in and of itself at a later date.  All of these brilliant advances in technology just so happen to be within finger’s reach for us thanks to our so called smartphones.  No need to flip open that archaic laptop, ew.  You are just a swipe away from millions of other people in the midst of ignoring their “real life” company to bask in the glow of their screens.

Texting has overtaken the phone call and do not even ask me when the last time I received a hand written anything other than birthday cards from my best friends and family was.  Seriously, don’t ask me because I do remember.  (Pro-tip: bonus points earned for voice on voice contact, but if you take the time to put pen to paper and mail it, I’m yours).  That said, a lot is left to be desired in modern day romance as much of what we are trying to express over text is totally lost in translation.  There is no expression, no context, and no way of being sure that your message was received- both literally and figuratively.  There is, however, one type of text message that needs no analyzation.  Its context and subtext is quite clear.

penis street artAs we lay in one of my best friend’s cozy bed watching “That Awkward Moment” (insert irony here) last Saturday night, I asked her if she had heard from a particular suitor and I guess his ears– but more likely loins– were burning because as if on cue, her phone lit up and there he was.  Instead of your run of the mill midnight “u out?” bro text message, this was something far more frightening.  It was the dreaded “dick pic.”

I should have video recorded the reaction.  Not only did she not want to open the photo from the preview, she handed it to us to do the dirty work.  There was a lot of nervous laughter, a little bit of uncomfortable squealing, followed by a game of hot potato with her iPhone.  And should I ever have the pleasure of meeting this guy, I’ll have a hard time keeping it together seeing as I’ve already met his penis.  The odd part in all of this (as if there is anything more odd than receiving a photo of a basic stranger’s genitals) is that she has not been on a date with him, has not even kissed him, and hadn’t even responded to any of his messages for the past two weeks.  Post deleting his message and blocking his phone number, we managed to sleep through the night sans phallic nightmares.

When I awoke Sunday to a frantic phone call from the same friend, I postponed my run along the Westside Highway to hear her out.  As it turns out, after having headed home and slipping into a sweet slumber, another Prince Charming snapped a shot of his cyclops and sent it her way.  Again, someone who she had not been responding to all evening.  Two dick pics in less than twelve hours?  That’s got to be some kind of record, no?

tinder picture

And maybe my friends and I are alone in this and you all can chock us up as prudes (though that would be fairly inaccurate), but I’m really wondering if AND WHO?! are the ladies out there requesting pictures of male packages leading modern day men to believe that all of us are interested in a salami slider sent straight to our cell phones.  I imagine that somewhere along the line, these guys were given the green light by some broad because they seem to think this is the ticket to ride.  It’s as if they had the thought process of, “Oh, she’s not responding to my messages?  I’ll just send her cock shot.  That’ll get the rooster crowing!”

Here’s the thing: Women just aren’t aroused by pictures of your penises.  It’s science and I can speak from personal experience.  I had an ex who loved to send me penis portraits that I had never commissioned.  And some would say that so long as you’re actually sleeping with the sender, a photograph of his nether regions doesn’t seem all that offensive.  However, he enjoyed sending photos of his ship without wind in its sails.  Not sexy.  Plus, I’ve already been acquainted with your personal kayak, so don’t fill up your camera roll with your scrotum selfies.  Save space for pictures of your niece or your lunch.  Basically, you’re more likely to get my panties in a bunch by sending a picture of a puppy or perhaps your face.  Although, I did recently receive an unsolicited  and shirtless “right before bedtime selfie” that was very Jersey Shore.  We are no longer dating.

So, to the fellas out there, please stop sending us pictures of the land down below because we don’t want our passports stamped and to the ladies… are you down with the D or is this the modern day equivalent of flashing?

 

xx,

WhyDid

 

 

Why Did or Why Don’t: Flat Footed

By |March 26th, 2014|Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Wear That?|

tevas

Which came first: the Birkenstock of the Teva?  The answer doesn’t actually matter because they are both having fashion reincarnations this spring… much to the joy of some and chagrin of others.  While the Birkenstock reemergence has already been happening on the low for quite some time now, the other favored sandal of the 90’s complete with velcro straps and thick flat soles has just recently filled high end department stores’ and designer boutiques’ shelves.  Brands from Marni to Rebecca Minkoff have embraced and reinvented the functional over fashionable shoe with metallic leather, studs, and colorful embellishments.  While they sure will make traipsing through the city a lot less painful for your feet, I’m not sure about the effect they’ll have on our eyes.

summer sandals1. Marni Metallic Leather Sandals, 2. Vince Brennen Two Band Flat Sandals, 3. Rebecca Minkoff Talia Too Flat Sandals, 4. Isabel Marant Brook Braided Leather Sandals, 5. Balenciaga Pads Riding Sandals, 6.  Dolce Vita Foss Colorblock Sandals, 7. Nicholas Kirkwood Metallic Leather Trimmed Raffia Sandals, 8. Toga Embellished Leather and Suede Sandals, 9. Prada Asymmetric Strap Sandal, 10. Lanvin Holographic Woven Leather Sandals

So, what do you think about Tevas 2.0?

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did or Why Don’t: Playing with Fire

By |November 20th, 2013|Celebrity Style, Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Wear That?|

jennifer lawrenceTeens and adults alike across the globe are waiting with bated breath for the Friday release of the second installment of the Hunger Games trilogy, Catching Fire.  All of them except for me.  I never bothered to pick up the books… you know I don’t do mainstream… so I have no idea what they are really even about except that people are pretty obsessed with the series’ heroine, Katniss Everdeen and her real life identity, Jennifer Lawrence.

While I won’t be watching the movie, I have been watching Jennifer’s red carpet arrivals and Miss Lawrence wore this Christian Dior gown to the Los Angeles premiere on Monday.  You know I’m usually a huge proponent for anything that doesn’t require pants (or bra), but has her crotch baring, barely there getup gone too far?  Can this lady do no wrong or does the emperor have no clothes… literally?

jennifer lawrenceLady Lawrence has been on a fashion world tour, blowing my mind at every stop.  Last Friday, she showed my other favorite cleavage, aka “side boob” in a different Christian Dior concoction and I’m loving the dark lip, new cropped hair, and edgy but sweet frock.

So, what are you thoughts on Katniss’s Christian Dior at the LA premiere?

xx,

WhyDid